Happyrock...What is your son's dx? You said that he had testing done and he is regressing...What does your doctor say about this? It sounds like he is really struggling, I feel for you. Its so hard to watch our happy little guys get so somber and mad at the world. My son started some of that behavior last year and its difficult to deal with. Everthing is just so hard and he tells me that all the time. He begged me to homeschool him this year and I just flat out refused...even though I stay home and have an education background. My son is very lucky that he goes to a small private school that is very supportive of him. He is surrounded by people who really care about his education and his self-esteem but still finds school just too hard. It just drives me nuts also that my son puts no effort into anything unless its something he loves. You know...it just might be the age. I've talked with other parents in his class and they all say their kids are just the same. My son is 10. I wonder sometimes if its hormones.
I was just wondering, has your son been assessed for depression? The only reason I ask is because of all the withdrawn behavior you've mentioned and his lack of intrest in things that he used to like. Did all this behavior start at the same time?
Good Luck and rest assure that many of us understand what your going through!
Thanks for your response. We believe that part of his problem is depression. He was diagnoses with clinical depression 2 years ago. He has also been on antidepressants for 5 years to cope with the anxiety. He was at a small school of 150 children from 5 - 17 years of age and didn't cope. Being a teacher I think that I am very results driven!!!! I know what he is capable of and what the schools should be doing so I suppose I'm the mother from hell!!! His doctors are wonderful specialists however both disagree on his diagnosis. One thinks its autism / autism and the other ADHD. One is medication driven - therefore drop in results = altering medication type/dose etc. So as you can see we are really in a mess!!!! I hate being at home but his psychiatrist believes that this is essential as he is becoming too anxious at school. AHHHHHH See our stress!!! I'm sure like many on this board I should get a degree in ADHD!! The frustrating thing is when I was teaching, I was the one parents would come to asking for help and I was always able to help. Ironic isn't it!!!
I am with you with the "protecting" them. Our sons's world is now so small and that's the way he wants it!!!! But that's not life. I have tried everything with Dom - Soccer, art class, music (he plays flute, piccolo and guitar)karate. He will last at everything for a while. He did get his "black belt in karate - 3 years of training but hated it at the end. Played soccer for many years but then hated the other kids, is a natural musician but does like to practice. He has won prizes for his art but can't be bothered! It is so frustrating!!!!!!!!!! It's almost like at the moment life is just too hard to get involved in!! We have a great series of photos of Dom with each years soccer team. He started when he was 5 and finished when he was 12. He had the greatest smile and "happy eyes" until he was 11 and then he has the sadest eyes and no smile. It sums up his life's journey!
Help! My 13 year old has had so many issues! We have tried everything to help him. It just seems he is going backwards academically. He finds socializing "hard work" . This has been demonstrated by becoming invisible in his class and detatched from the group. He hates everyone. On advice from his specialist, we have taken him out of school and are now homeschooling. He is very happy with this arrangement.
He hasn't started to have any growth spurts yet - puberty seems sometime away - My question is to anyone with a teenage ADHD child - "Does it get worse? Testing has revealed that his comprehension for example has dropped by about 4 year levels over the past 12 months. Maths facts which use to be instant are now non-existant. His attention span has reduced greatly and he gets very tired. He suffers from a high level of anxiety and panics about so many things. Sometimes I feel that he manipulates us and carries on to get out of things!
We have had a number of med changes but things seem to work and then don't. I just thinking that this could be hormones.
1. Do teenagers get worse before they get better?
2. Will things improve or is this a sign of a scary future?
It is totally exhausting us and thoroughly testing our marriage!!!!
Love some feedback from those who have been where I am know!
Ha! We sort of have the same problem right now! My daughter is almost 8, but a lot of similarity...
I am planning on homeschooling next year as well. The expectations are sometimes so hard - this way, we will be on our own schedule. I've researched it for quite some time and hope we all like it.
What does your son have that he enjoys and is good at? Music, sports, etc? My first thought is to get him involved in something that raises his self-esteem, if you haven't already. And, as I wrote this morning, I am battling between "feeling sorry for them" and pushing them to do their best. I am now wondering if feeling for them is actually worse on their self-esteem and self-abilities!
I hope others have teenagers that can help you more...