ok, i am 16 yrs old and i see what you all are saying. my mom has an extreme difficulty with me! im in her words "difficult, stubborn, and frustrating" its not that we're manipulating you to test limits. sometimes we just feel really insecure and need to demand attention so we feel loved. i feel more often than others that no matter wat i do.. no one accepts me for the good i've done. please don't yell at your child becuase they're being harder to handle with. alot of it IS impacted by the need to be impulsive. i get it trouble alot for not letting my mom "finish her sentences" but i cant seem to help it. having adhd as a kid made me know that i was different and because its soo common, its like HEY U HAVE ADHD ur defective. we cant operate or focus the same way as most kids w/o adhd or add. i've also learned that the cuase of this disorder is the releasing of dopamine in the brain and that too much or too little can effect how one acts. the brain doesnt quite produce enough dopamine which leads to the impulsive behavior and lack of self control. i've also been reading that now possibly the brain isnt releasing enough norepinephrin as well which could be why we aren't CALM most of the time. all of this imbalance impacts the deal of seratonin as to why moods dont fluctuate like they should. -hence why some parents with adhd kids are incorrectly diagnosed with being bipolar.
all in all, im simply stating that its not all in the kids intentions to make your life more challenging to raise them, because to the root of the issue, it starts in the brain. it just has to take alot of patience and open mindedness to hande a kid of such nature i suppose. you hear that also kids with adhd are more likely to have depression... well u can only be depressed when you have high sensitivity to everything, if you tell your kids things negative its going to come out like your so disappointed in them and that nothing they do is right. personal experience and just students of my time and age also say that they just want to be accepted by their parents and that they want to be appraised MORE for everything right no matter how big or small it may be.
Courtney9039015.585462963Okay, I wanted to let you all know my update today. I called her teacher - she is going to tutor her every Monday after school. I also called a new friend of mine. I met her because our daughters are best friends and in the same class. Well, she has it a little more together than I do (doesn't have three kids under three!) and she said she would be glad to have dd over after school for "homework time" with the girls! YAY! I am feeling so good that my little girl can finally get some one-on-one and maybe will see that she can do it on her own too!
I'll let you all know how she is doing!
Thanks for everything...
My son with ADHD is extremely demanding! Sometimes I think it is a product of his disorder and others I think it is b/c he is the first born and was used to my undivided attention for too long! It IS frustrating, I can sympathize!I know that we are all frustrated parents and I am sorry to post out of craziness again, but it is never ending, as you know...
I guess my question is in regards to expectations of your child. I have just come to the realization as I was sitting down and helping my daughter with her homework that I am enabling her!
We have had conversations about how hard it is for her to concentrate, etc. and she is now just not trying because of it! I have to sit there and say "Okay, next one - redo that one, etc." just to get it done. It takes forever and I have three other kids needing me too. It's frustrating for everyone and it's nearly impossible. I know you all can relate...
I just yelled at her about doing her best and she's no exception. That I was going to expect nothing but the best from her on it. She did cry for a minute, but now she is sitting concentrating on it and getting it done by herself.
Aaahhh! I am thinking that I needed to light a fire under her - tough love, I guess. Give me your thoughts...
Thanks!
bbopper39015.216099537
I so understand!! Sometimes it feels as if they are just manipulating you to see how much they can get away with. It seems as if they need you to just yell and scream before they do anything. I am totally exhausted by the whole process - so I totally agree with you !!!!
Dear Courtney,
You are right. It does take a lot of patience and open-mindedness to raise a child with these difficulties. I want you to know that the things we discuss in our "frustrated" topics are moments. We all love and cherish our kids and want the best for them. We are guided by the support of others and then can make the better decisions in these moments of frustration.
Please keep posting - I was enlightened by your intelligent view! It helps me to see my daughter's side of things. We all need reminded of them at times!