They Just Don’t Get It | ADHD Information

yeah this is one of the most annoying things about how ppl percieve our disorder. when i first found out i had it one of my aquantances that i waited tables w/ back in my early twenties said emphatically "YOU do not have any issues concentrating that i've ever seen"

hmm. i wanted to freaking scream: are you in my head? have you ever heard of overcompensation? or filling in blanks? or that i may have developed my own coping strategies to deal with normal life and get by? GEEZ. 

if i hear another stupid comment like that or what you're talking about mafia i'm going to either scream or bawl...

i have joked to ppl like that...the ones that think they have it.."yeah thats the other REALLY bad symptom of adhd. everyone you talk to also thinks they have it by virtue of you having it.  isn't that messed up?"

LOL

yes.."i have cancer" response: "oh really i once had a mole on my leg but i think it went into remission"

"i have pmdd (clinically BAD pms)" response:"wow yeah, i have that, but only once a year if i drink before my period..maybe i should get some zoloft from my doc right?"

"i am clinically deppressed" response: "i was tooottaally deppressed last night b/c i missed the daily show. and then my mom called and was getting on my nerves so i went straight to bed. i know how that feels!"

"i was abused as a child" response: " ME TOO! did your mom ground you for a month? my father also used to get really pissed when i told him to f*** off and would slap me. i had to go to counseling..."

"i have severe allergies and need to take antihistamines every day plus get allergy shots every week" response: "me too! i sneeze two times in a row EVERY SINGLE TIME i sneeze. i must be sensitive to pollution"

you could go on and on. i swear i've heard ppl make stupid comments exactly like this or very much so.  ppl ALWAYS say stuff like this..its the easiest dumbest way to either: alleviate their own uncomfort by making your 'it' light..or trying to relate or they are just plain ignorant or a combination.

unfortunately, most ppl are not into research before they open their mouths.

 

I know! And sometimes Im sat in class and i cant focus at all, and I dont know what we have to do and i have to ask my friends. And then at the end I havent done anything of the work set and I have to do it all for homework and , i say to my friends "oh i couldnt concentrate at ALL that lesson"  and they all say "Your EXACTLY like ME! , i just couldnt concentrate at ALL" and i just get angry inside because its like You DID all the work, and you always knew what you were doing, and its annyoing.  

I think its annoying because the people think they know what its like because EVERYBODY gets times when they cant focus, and they just assume that means they have add. They think, that because for 10 minutes in Maths they werent listening to the teacher means the have concentration problems. Those are the kind of people who say things like "You just need to TRY an concentrate, because I get that all the time, its just discipline." Because they havent got a clue.

"...But I sat quietly and reviewed my study material

- Chaz Harris "

Good for you Chaz! That must have been hard to do. 

rainraven

There is a lot of misunderstanding about ADD.

I think that there was a period during which kids were over-diagnosed with ADD. I think a lot of kids who were suffering from other problems were diagnosed ADD and that ended up creating this stigma that ADD was somehow not real.

As recently as last week at a sales conference I had to listen to people trying to make funny remarks about how tough it is for the salepeople to spend a whole week in a training class because "we're salepeople, we're all ADD". 

I felt like screaming "If you had any %$$%%$#ing idea what this monster in my head is like you idiots would not be laughing".

But I sat quietly and reviewed my study material.

It seems everytime I tell a "normal" person I have ADHD they tell me "I think I have that too." or "I'm pretty sure I had that when I was a kid." Playing along with them (but cringing inside) I ask "Oh really, why do you think that?" and of course you get the standard "I got bored in school a lot." or "I had trouble paying attention in some of my classes."

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

Does this drive anyone else crazy.

They think adhd is no big deal it just means you get bored easily. The ignorance these people show is amazing. Would they tell someone with diabetes that they think they had that as a child too. It's no big deal right, so you have to use insulin. If you ate right or tried harder it wouldn't be a problem. Of course nobody would say that to a diabetic but they have no problem using that attitude on ADDers.

It wouldn't be as aggrivating if this happened once in awhile but it happens all the time. I swear if I hear that I just need more exercise or that I need to force myself to focus one more time I will explode. Do these people really think I'm that stupid or that lazy. If either of those things worked for me I would not have a problem. I already exercise more in one day then most do in an entire week and the assumption that I could concentrate if I really wanted to is absurd. If that was the case then I would easily be able to focus on things I enjoy. Then why do I still struggle to read my favorite magazine, play a video game or even return emails to friends. These are things I enjoy so I should be able to do them anytime. Instead my life is filled with a mailbox full of unread emails and magazines that pile up for weeks at a time until my brain is working well enough for me to understand what I read.

Ok I'm done complaining, just needed to unload a bit and now I feel better. At least until the next time it happens anyway.

Hi Rosina,

Thanks for sharing your views.

I definately agree that nutrition, exercise, and rest play a role. I recognize big differences with myself in that regard. I also think you are correct that I cannot have a poor diet, neglect rest & exercise, abuse my body, be a total couch potato, and expect to take a pill every morning that will turn me into Anthony Robbins.

I also agree that some doctors may be way too quick to prescribe medications.

I think a wise approach would be for people not in crises mode to perhaps try non-medicatioin approaches to see if that is enough to make the difference needed. But for many of us who were never diagnosed as kids, by the time we actually make it in to see a doctor, our lives are on the brink of ruin.

I did not know I had ADD. What I did know is that I was 45 years old, had no friends, a 20-year marriage that was breaking apart, two kids who barely know me, a career that was falling to pieces, debt that was growing, and a feeling that I was completely losing my mind. I needed something that would allow me to at least keep my head above water long enough to even think about what to do. I needed to act very quickly to save my career and start to make some effort to save my marriage. It was not really a matter of changing my lifestyle to feel better. I was not ocassionally absent minded or ocassionaly having trouble focusing. My entire life was coming to an end before my very eyes. I would have lost my wife, my career, my home, and most likely would have ended up in a gutter somewhere or blowing my brains out.

Medication is literally saving my life here. It is allowing me a chance to try to correct these problems. I am slowly getting my career back on track and am working on my marriage. Once all of that is out of crisis mode, I plan to spend more time exploring alternative treatments.

I would like very much to be able to function without medications. Perhaps someday I will.  

Hi, Chazinmo!

Well, whether everyone has ADD or not depends on the definition of ADD. By some definitions, just about everyone
has it sometimes or in a small way; by other definitions, only some do.

I haven't seen any really good definition of ADD. The DSM criteria are very vague. Redstar gave a good critique of the use of the
word "often" in the DSM.

So, when I said everyone has it, I was using a definition that allowed this to be true: a vague
definition like "a tendency to be forgetful, have difficulty concentrating,
flit quickly from one thought to another, act impulsively, etc." Everyone has that -- just some
more than others.

There are ways to define ADD that divide people into exactly two groups: those
that have it and those that don't. But there is more
than one way to do this, so some people will be included
as ADD by some definitions and not by others. Some definitions will
group more than half the people as ADD.

Thank you for being non-confrontational. I think it's fine to disagree.   We have different opinions
but we can still get along. We can explain why we have
those opinions but we may be unlikely to convince each other.

Well, I think of nutrition as really fundamental. If you eat nothing but bread and water, you will probably get all sorts of
illnesses including mental illnesses -- and drugs alone won't be
able to cure them. You have to have the real nutrients. Drugs can help move the nutrients around in the body but they can't create them.

I think it's dangerous to suggest to people that medical treatment and prescription medications
can do more than diet, exercise and self-help.
However, people are responsible for how they use your suggestions or my suggestions.

People may be able to get along without doctors. But people are
certainly not able to get along without food, sleep, or exercise. Doctors don't do everything -- they assume people are
making attempts to look after themselves.

I believe that it's possible for everybody to have a chemical imbalance.
Maybe when you say "imbalance" you mean something different from
what I would mean.
I mean the levels of the chemicals are not optimal: they are too high or
too low. They can be improved. Maybe you mean they're
different from the norm.

I believe everybody has levels of chemicals that are too high or too low sometimes.
For example, a person's blood sugar may be too low at times, and the
body compensates for this by raising the adrenaline level, making the
person more prone to get angry. Maybe this happens to everybody, for example just before a meal. I would call that a chemical imbalance, even though it happens to everybody.

Do you think I'm discouraging anybody from seeking medical advice
or treatment when it's warranted? I would like to encourage people to
use their judgement in deciding when to consult a doctor and how to use the doctor's advice.

You say that very few seriously ADDers would be able to read your long
post without medication. I'm not convinced of that.

I see the world
as full of possibilities. Just because something hasn't
happened yet doesn't prove it's impossible. There are many alternate universes.

Maybe those people could read through the post if
they took nutritional supplements which are precursors to the neurotransmitters they need for reading -- or
used neurofeedback -- or found a way to sleep better -- or used an exercise bicycle while reading -- or some other nondrug treatment none of us know about yet -- or all of the above at once.

If it can be done with drugs, it can probably be done with nutrients -- that's my opinion.

I hope we can continue to respect each other's opinion. Thanks for an interesting discussion.

Hi Rosina,

I really must disagree. I hardly think everyone has ADD. If everyone had a chemical imbalance in his or her brain, it would not be an imbalance; it would be the norm.

And I do not think that diet and books can do more than a doctor can do for those of us who suffer from an extreme case of ADD. It has to do with brain chemistry. And yes, diet and exercise can have an effect on brain chemistry for the good. I believe that 100%. But for many of us that is not enough to balance the neurotransmitters to the degree that we can function.

I do not mean any of this in a confrontational way. And like I said, I think many of things your recommend to people here will indeed help them. But I do not think you really understand that some of us have ADD to the degree that it limits our ability to function. You recommend certain diets, but without my medication I am not able to make lists, buy the right foods and supplements, and definitely cannot prepare them or remember to take them. It is nice to recommend books, but without my medication, I can rarely make it all the way through a book.

While I think many of the things you recommend are good, I do not think it is good to suggest that diet, exercise, and self-help can do more than professional medical care and prescription medications can.

I think the things you recommend do help. If someone had no access to medical treatment, this would be good. For those of us with access to medical treatment, your recommendations along with my medications help very much. But I do not think we should discourage people from seeking medical advice and medications if it is warranted.

For example, very few seriously ADDrs wuld be able to read all the way through my very verbose post without the benefit of medication.

Although I disagree with some of what you say on here, I am interested in some of your ideas on dietary supplements. So I do derive value from that information you share with everyone. Thanks!

I think everybody does have it -- just some more than others.
I don't see anything wrong with people recognizing that
aspect of themselves. Ordinary people need the same coping mechanisms -- just not as much.

How would you feel if you told me you were diabetic, and
I responded with: "I think I may have a bit of a tendency towards diabetes, too. I get low blood sugar if I don't eat for a few hours. I take chromium supplements, and
I'm trying to lose weight, which may reduce my risk of
getting diabetes."

I don't see anything wrong with that response, except maybe that I'm
boring you by talking about myself. (Or that I ought to have mentioned omega-3 essential
fatty acids.    ;-)

 YES, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! YOU ACTUALLY GET IT. Now I'll think of you all and giggle inside next time some moron tells me he is just like me.