Behaviour in restaurants | ADHD Information

Does anyone have any suggestions of how to get ADHD kids to behave in restaurants? Mine fidgets, squirms, can be rude to waitreses, is impatient when his food does not arrive within a minute of ordering it, generally does not eat it when it arrives, plays loudly with and goes out of his way to annoy his little brother. He generally does not respect the fact that there are other people in the restaurant. He's been punished with timeouts afterwards, docking of pocket money and removing privileges such as banning from the compter, and we've tried rewards systems. Nothing seems to work. People stare. Sometimes I want to hand out brochures, my son has ADHD, it's not my fault, so mind your manners and stop staring!! It's my little one's birthday tomorrow and we are going out, but I am dreading it. Any suggestions? What has worked for you?

Is the brithday of your ADHD child? If so, I would not go and just plan a celebration at home. This sounds like you are asking for trouble especially if you having trouble in restaurants anyways. Birthdays are always extra stimulating so the combo just looks like trouble to me. Maybe you can order out and bring the food home.

We do go out with our boys and always have. Couple things we always do. Go out early before the rush, or late if you can't go early. If you know the resturant know what you are going to order when you sit down..If not most places have the menue on line. We own two game boys. They belong to me and DH, we use these for when we are out.. Sounds mean, but our boys only get to use them when we are out.. So it is very special for them to play with them.. I also, buy used games and trade them in so the games are changing..At times we do get up and go in the lobby or whatever if the food is to long.. We also play eye spy or something at the table.. The trick is to keep them busy.. We also are sure they are hungry when we go.. and that they know where we are going.. It's my youngest's birthday who is not ADHD. He will be six and he loves eating out so I don't really think it will be fair to keep him at home just because of his brother. My husband and I actually like going to restaurants, just over the last few years it has become unbearable. I like the advice of going not during the rush, and deciding what to order before we arrive, also preparing him by telling him where we will be going, etc. Thank you!If you have a game boy like wmtmann mentioned, I would bring that. My DS kept himself entertained at a 4 hour wedding reception playing his game boy ( he and his sister were the only children because they were family and in the wedding). Hope your little guy has a great 6th birthdayThanks - No gameboy but we do have other games that he likes to play so will definitely give that a try.

Does he have a Gameboy? My son will play quietly in resturants with his. I keep new games in my purse for "emergencies". I call the Gameboy my "sanity saver"

Anymore, we go out to eat so often, my son does stay pretty well behaved. He's eight. He does have the most fun with the wait staff. One he asked if she was rich, because if she was, she could come home with him. (He's a real flirt with women) Another time when he ordered he said I'm not hungry so "just bring me a couple of french fries a a glass of water" OR he's ordered coffee before and the look on the waitresses face was classic.

...so my point is .... just relax and have fun .... enjoy your kids and who cares what anyone else in the restuarant thinks ... let 'em stare.

Mine is like that mostly during dinner that the effect of the meds are out of his system, so usually I take him his gameboy or books and crayons, he loves to draw and color and it works for me. I think it depends how severe is their ADHD mine is not that bad I consider it moderate, the good thing that since may 2006 that he has been taking ritalin la 10 mg I hve never seen a tantrum oh well soemtimes but i can manage him and make him stop.

He is a really loving boy and cares about me so much., so Iwhat I tell him that I will be very sad if he does not behave or that he is no longer going to go to karete classes.

It works, luck hon

The only thing that has worked for dd is this:

GAMEBOY

Sad but true.

Other than that, kid-friendly restaurants such as McDonalds.

Gameboy is an absolute definite!!! It is reserved for a treat, going on long driving trips and going to dinner! Therefore he doesn't have access to it all the time so when he gets it he's captivated - long enough for us to enjoy a meal!!!!!!

When the kis were small they each had a busy bag = small draw string bag with colouring in pencils, activity book, story book puzzle etc. This would only be given when we were going somewhere where I needed them to be occupied - out for dinner, doctor's visits etc. When we got home I'd check what was in there and replace what was needed and then put it back on the shelf ready for next time it was needed.

We have done all of the above mentioned ideas...Gameboy, busy bag, ect...My son was just like yours when he was younger. He's now 10 and completely appropriate while eating out. I also agree with Susie B, he needs to know what is expected of him and if he does act up take him to the car and let your husband and younger son enjoy their meal. I did this once and like Susie, it never had to be done again. Stick to your guns! One more suggestion...My son loved to play the I spy game when we were out...but we used to put a little twist to it. We would make up a list of people or things before we went to the resturant and then marked them off once we seen them. For example...A man with a blue shirt, or a girl with tennis shoes...just fun little things. It would keep Josh busy while he waited for dinner and we would get so excited when someone would walk in with the item he had on his list. He would make up the list and we would all try to find the things on it. Just good clean fun. Hope this helps! Good Luck and have a wonderful celebration!

I told my son that if he acted up in a restaurant that i was going to take him out to the car and sit while daddy finished his dinner. I only had to do it once. I don't think he believed that I would leave my dinner, too, and take him to the car. When I did it, he realized I was serious. I have always made it very clear that the dinner table (either at home or in a restaurant) was a place to eat a meal, talk, laugh and enjoy each other's company. After the one time I took him to the car, all I had to say was: "Do you want to go out and sit in the car?" One reason I think it worked was because I had already made the impression that mealtime was sacrosanct.

Tomorrow before you go out, have a private chat with your son about how it's his brother's birthday and you expect him to be pleasant and act like an adult in the restaurant. Tell him you'll take him to the car so the birthday boy can have a nice meal and celebrate his birthday. Tell him he'd expect the same kind of good behavior from his brother if it was his birthday. When you make a threat, make sure it's one you'll carry out and be consistent.

I think something like gameboy or a "busy bag" (terrific idea!) is something to try as well. You'd be giving him expectations and a way to help him reach those expectations. Tell him this. "This is what I expect, this is what you can take with you for when you get bored." If he knows you're trying to help, he'll be more willing to make an effort.

Good luck and update us tomorrow night after you get back!
What we do is go over the rules in a resteraunt and have our child tell us what is expected so we know she understands. I also bring activities for her to do like her gameboy or coloring books to keep her occupied. When the child breaks one of the rules I tell her if I have to count to 3 we will leave and you must and be consistant. My husband and I take turns we just grab her and drag her out to the car for a time out and if she still cannot pull herself together then the one inside the place requests it as take out. We also tell her if that happens we will not take her back. I will admit we have not gotton to that point yet the car time out works so now when I count she imediately does the right thing. As a reward if our child is good we let her get a dessert. Good luck.we have a great restaurant here where they have a supervised play area,the parents sit in the restaurant where there are tvs so you can keep an eye on the kids.when your dinner is ready you just call them.GREAT[QUOTE=Gutsy]

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wow Gutsy, put SHE instead of HE in your lines and it would be stopry about my girl. She s ten and still have problems with restaurants... Now we just go where is the quickiest prepared food couse my husband is one whom you could hand the brochure . Supporting suggestions of other members of board...

and

Happy birthday to your little one!

Along with using many of the suggestions already listed here (I spy game, special activity such as coloring, running over the rules before entering and one parent going with the child to the car for a time out if there is an infraction) we also have scouted out a few kid-friendly restaurants in our area. These are places that are a little noisy already and tend to have other families there. The tables aren't packed in tightly, aren't too fancy (i.e., tablecloth places) and preferably have booths that I can "trap" our son in. They serve the food quickly and bring the kids' food out first if the adult orders are going to take longer. Some we like are bar-b-que joints, Johnny Rockets, Chuck E Cheese, pizza places, Fudruckers. Also, we go early (by 6:00 at the latest) when the places aren't too crowded.

If we go out, we try to go someplace where we know that they can get up and move - places with video games, etc. can be a great distraction.

Also, I have not tried this, but I have heard of people who explain the rules - must stay in your seat, no yelling or throwing, etc. before you go. Give the child 3 cards, and explain that each time a rule is broken, then you will take a card - if the child runs out of cards, he/she will have to leave the restaurant. And be prepared to leave!! Since it is your younger childs birthday, you may need to specify that the leave would be for 5 or 10 minutes vs leaving for good.