Gosh what a day | ADHD Information
First of all, Im NOT COLD! And how dare you come to such a conclusion when you havent met me in person. I love my kids. Im raising them ALONE and pretty much have even when I was married since my ex was a trucker and gone all week. I work my ass off, and take care of my kids. I hvae to drive 5 hrs round trip EVERY FRIDAY and EVERY SUNDAY to take my kids to see their dad on top of working over 43 hrs a week, keeping house, dealing with school functions etc. I am WORN RAGGED and do the best I can, and dealing with an ADHD child is NO EASY TASK and you ALL KNOW. Yes, sometimes I lose my cool and cuss. Im HUMAN and it HAPPENS, and im sure im not the ONLY one here who is guilty of this at some point under some circumstance. Its a learning process for not only my son but for me as well as far as how to handle this situation. Im trying to watch my yelling, and trying to be more understanding. Sorry im not as good a mom as you
. I really didnt need this today. Not today.macsmom39017.4139930556Macsmom, I am not judging you at all, but is is possible you and mac both might be depressed over the divorce. St John's Wart is a wonderful OTC, I take it. You said it just happen could it be Mac feels it is his fault in someway. Did something happen to trigger a flashback. I know you said his dad was gone a lot, but did Dad or you miss some important event in Mac's life recently? I am also a firm believer in the Full Moon theory, that ppl just get tense and weird around the end of the month. Mac could also be feeling your stress, when was that last time you did something for yourself. Sounds like you need a lil pampering, TLC yourself. Maybe Mac's dad needs to take him more then just 1 night a week. I know that if I do not get my bubble bath in before DS gets home for school each day and a full 8 hrs of sleep we will have a horrible afternoon/evening. I say pick your battles, is supper worth losing the war over? When I feel myself getting to that point, I step back and ask myself is this a hill I want to die on today? More often then not, it is not worth the fight. Our children bless their hearts are controlled way more then any other child. Like someone said sometimes they need to win the battle just to know they have some worth. Macsmom, please do not take the critical poster's remarks to heart, I don't think the rest of us feel that way at all. I dare any mother to truthfully state that she has never raised her voice and yelled, and a large percentage of us have cussed as well (me included).
Ok, now is there any reason why you have to drive so far to do the visitation with mac's dad? Can he meet you halfway, or is this the only available arrangement? Or could you bring him to the visit and dad bring him back? Just a thought. Then you would have more of Sunday to take care of yourself, take a bubble bath, a nap, or whatever soothes you. I really admire single moms and I could never do this on my own. I thank God every day for my hubby, but I realize that if a marriage is bad, it is not good for the children either.
And it is true, after parenting for a little over 26 years, I have come to the conclusion that it is best to "not sweat the small stuff". Hard, but true. I go by the theory, if this is not going to matter in a week, let it go. Tomorrow is another day. Believe me, we have all been there.
Hope you are feeling better
chasesmom79
and Jonna's mom (aged 26), Chelsea's mom (aged 19), Jake's mom (aged 13)
okay first off i feel kind of badd for the mom she seems very cold her self ,and not to be over critical ,cause i know ive hd my days but come on getting frustrated and using cuss words will not help your child does need lots of your time and lots of hugs and tlc.based upon your comment it doesnt seem that way or im just judging off one email .i would talk to his doctor and it seems likr it s to much of a does for him also he ay need more of a set schedule for things
i have a 4 yr old adhd son and the more love and patience i show helps him if he see"s me get fired up and use cuss words or even by my facial exspression he will pick up on it and have a fit ,,please just stay calm happy and know its not your sons fault ok..
i dony mean to be or sound rude to you or bitchy but i call it how i read it and it seems like you need some down time to get your thoughts better collected...have a good day and think positive it will all workout in the end for the best 
hmmmm.... when you say that you moved back home, does that imply that you moved back to be nearer to family? If so, could one of them (or a friend) possibly accompany you on the trip to deliver (or pick up) the kids, then they could drive back for you while you relax a little, and maybe you could even fit in a relaxing, kid free meal in the bargain...
chasesmom79
macsmom
sorry---I wish I lived closer ( I am in Northern Ohio), I would LOVE to help. I know the value of a good friend. I am glad that you have your parents close enough to help during the week at least.
chasemom79
Macsmom--We come to this website for support and to be supported, not to be made to feel worse. Staced or whoever should be ashamed. It is quite obvious that you care about your family. Perhaps staced has never had a meltdown. WELL GOOD FOR HER OR HIM!!! I cuss if I get mad. Especially to my supporters. Just because someone cusses on a website doesn't mean they cuss to their children. Good grief, I cannot stand judgemental people. I believe that many of us on here have been where you were yesterday. I don't know anyone who doesn't need a little time to vent due to FEARS, frustrations or just plain old hurt feelings. We feel all these with you Macsmom. Been there done that. I tell you what, my mouth FELL RIGHT OPEN when I read that post. Or tried to read it as there were many misspelled words. Good job on standing up for yourself too.
Now-DS took Concerta. He took it ONE day. He was so STONED. Never gave it again. I am sure that you have called the doc on this one. Let us know how today went.
Oh and life just plain stinks sometimes. We get the crap end of the stick. All of us do at sometime. THese are the times that if we triumph then we are nothing but STRONGER! Have faith. Put your hands together and say HI JESUS are you listening?
That drive I make IS half way unfortunately. He lives near Nashville, Tn and Im 250 miles away in North East Tn. He doesnt take him mid week, he just gets them the first three weekends of ever month, I get them the 4th weekend. Was part of our divorce agreement in order for him not to fight me on moving back home. I dont think Mac is upset over anything concerning me or his dad. I mean, I know he must have issues with the divorce....what kid wouldnt, but he seems ok with things. He seems to be doing better today. He is out of school for long weekend and the neighbor girl came over to play with him and his 3.5 yr old sister. Neighbor girl also has ADHD, but she is very very good with him. Shes on meds tho, and I have to watch out when she is coming down off them, her mother infomed me that she can be somewhat violent when shes had enough rough play etc. But good day so far. Thanks for the support guys, the ones that gave it. I need it God knows lol.No cant do anything like that unfortunately. My parents watch the kids all week while I work, plus run thier own business at home. Come teh weekend theyre POOPED. Only friend I have has her own family to worry with. Im stuck with doing it. period....unfortunatelywe are all human and we do shout at our kids sometimes,people who say they don't are either liars or control freaks.
i can imagine it must be hard for you being on your own and working long hours and you have all my admiration,i sometimes complain and i have a supportive husband and i am a stay home mum.i find it hard when he is away on the oil rig for 2 weeks but it is nothing compare to you.
for the stomach pain,it could just be because he had a busy day.i am on concerta and i did have stomach pains,then i realised it was because i was not eating so my stomach was sore,i got energy drinks and the pains went away.my appetite started to come back in the evening after a few weeks..
it is true you have to chose your battles,i learned a long time ago to let things go but our kids can be so frustrating and my guess is you wanted him to eat his dinner because you were worried about him not eating enough and losing weight.i hope you will find a way to get time to yourself,you deserve and need it.
Thanks again guys. And just to be clear....and not bragging here...but I was saying taht I have cussed at my son. Its not right, I know that, and IM not making excuses for it. Its terrible and I realize that, obviously, but it does happen. Im working on it, honest I am. I just get SO frustrated taht I dont know what else to do. It jsut comes out. But I am working on it. I love my babies....they're my greatest accomplishments in life....PERIOD! I would DIE for any one of my kids. They're the only good things to come out of my two bad marraiges...esp the last one.
Luckily son doesnt appear stoned. He was just kinda sad. Spoke with his Pediatrician today and she realized she made a mistake on upping his meds from 18 mgs to 36. she thought he has been on the 36 all along...buts its been 18 instead. Going back to the 18 and supplimenting with teh Ritilin when needed in early evenings. She said he probably will need to go up on dosage but right now she wants to leave it at 18 per his weight issues. She also however said not ot give him protien bars or shakes due to his weight and height already. He is WAY above on the growth chart, always has been so she said he can stand to lose some. He is 5 and looks more like 7 ....not fat just over all bigger kid. He had a great day today. I had to work for 4 hrs tonight and while at my moms he was an angel! Even her DOG notices a difference im him. Mom has a toy chihuahua who NORMALY hates me son for she is scared of him. But today she actualy got in his lap and kissed his face all evening! He is however having tummy pains tonight. Not sure if its gas or what. Concerned with that at the moment but other wise a great day for Mac. AND he gets to go trail riding sunday on his favorite horse and best buddy, Ginger!
[QUOTE=macsmom]Things seem to go from bad to better then to bad again, then really good then back to REALLY BAD! WTF is up with this?! I took michael to run errands after the dr appt yest and he was really good, tho I noticed him getting cranked back up so to speak around 4ish. Took him home, gave him the Ritilin the Dr prescribed me to give him for just such occasions, when he is coming off the concerta and acting up etc. Didnt see much change in him to be honest. Got him up this am and it was hell from teh get go. He REFUSED to eat his breakfast, would jsut sit there sull up and look at me. I thought I was going to kill him! Sent him to his room but he wouldnt stay. Finaly got him to eat, not very willingly tho and had to sit over him tehw hoel time. Got to school and he refused to get out of the car! The teacher aid who helps gets teh kids out of the cars had to pull him out of the car. Why? Because his party was today and i told him I would be there for it but for whatever reason, right when it was time ot get out of the car, he realized I was coming LATER IN THE DAY, not staying all day. Got him out of the car and I came home. Went to the party and noticed he didnt seem himself. He was quiet, but too quiet. Didnt seem to enjoy the party. Seemed sad almost. That concerned me...ALOT. He ahs been AWFUL ever since. He got mad because his toy phone taht was in the car this am, well I took it in the hosue when I got home this morning. When he got in the car to go home he was to upset that it wsa at home adn not in the car, like his feelings were hurt kind of upset. Odd....very odd. Came home and he sulked for what seemed like forever STILL over the phone which he now had in his possesion. Then dinner time came and he wanted to play his vsmile. I said not till after dinner, which he was refusing to eat because it had onions in it (spaghetti) even tho he always eats it. I had to SIT AND FEED him like a baby! EVen that came about after nearly an hour of arguing and him throwing a tantrum over the damn game. Finaly got SOME food down him and he is now playing his game but whinning about anythign and everything he can. What is going on with him? Is this normal? He took his first dose of 36mg concerta today....has been on 18 mgs. But he was like this yest even before starting the upped dosage. I cant handle this. Im about to pull out my hair. He is supposed to be getting better, and was....and now...somethings gone wrong. And him being so sullen at the party,,,,Im worried about that. Help![/QUOTE]
It sounds like your little guy may need some extra fluffy TLC, A.S.A.P. My instinct is to take some time and let him guide you. It sounds like he's resisting control. Maybe one day - a few hours - something like that, where he decides what you two are going to do, what you'll play, what the topic of conversation is going to be. Take a long walk outside with him and share some quality no-demand time.
Things seem to go from bad to better then to bad again, then really good then back to REALLY BAD! WTF is up with this?! I took michael to run errands after the dr appt yest and he was really good, tho I noticed him getting cranked back up so to speak around 4ish. Took him home, gave him the Ritilin the Dr prescribed me to give him for just such occasions, when he is coming off the concerta and acting up etc. Didnt see much change in him to be honest. Got him up this am and it was hell from teh get go. He REFUSED to eat his breakfast, would jsut sit there sull up and look at me. I thought I was going to kill him! Sent him to his room but he wouldnt stay. Finaly got him to eat, not very willingly tho and had to sit over him tehw hoel time. Got to school and he refused to get out of the car! The teacher aid who helps gets teh kids out of the cars had to pull him out of the car. Why? Because his party was today and i told him I would be there for it but for whatever reason, right when it was time ot get out of the car, he realized I was coming LATER IN THE DAY, not staying all day. Got him out of the car and I came home. Went to the party and noticed he didnt seem himself. He was quiet, but too quiet. Didnt seem to enjoy the party. Seemed sad almost. That concerned me...ALOT. He ahs been AWFUL ever since. He got mad because his toy phone taht was in the car this am, well I took it in the hosue when I got home this morning. When he got in the car to go home he was to upset that it wsa at home adn not in the car, like his feelings were hurt kind of upset. Odd....very odd. Came home and he sulked for what seemed like forever STILL over the phone which he now had in his possesion. Then dinner time came and he wanted to play his vsmile. I said not till after dinner, which he was refusing to eat because it had onions in it (spaghetti) even tho he always eats it. I had to SIT AND FEED him like a baby! EVen that came about after nearly an hour of arguing and him throwing a tantrum over the damn game. Finaly got SOME food down him and he is now playing his game but whinning about anythign and everything he can. What is going on with him? Is this normal? He took his first dose of 36mg concerta today....has been on 18 mgs. But he was like this yest even before starting the upped dosage. I cant handle this. Im about to pull out my hair. He is supposed to be getting better, and was....and now...somethings gone wrong. And him being so sullen at the party,,,,Im worried about that. Help! ogram39020.4613310185Jillette, he acted this way yest eve too and he hadnt yet taken the upped dosage of Concerta, so I dunno whats going on. I asked him this evening if he was sad about something....he said no. I aksed if something was bothering him, again he said no. Im going to give it another day or so...Im home with them all weekend except for 4 hrs tomorrow night and 2 on sunday, so I should be able to see whats going on. I have to learn to deal with this differently tho. Im so used to fighting with him, on EVERYTHING. Getting pissy and hwat not. And Im a yeller....BIG time. And...shamefully....I cuss. I have a very short fuse and I think I have some anger issues myself. I just came out of a very bad marraige and it seems to have totaly changed me in ways I dont like. But like I said I hvae to change how I handle him. Its no longer "macs being bad" ....now its more "Mac has a problem and cant always help how he is behaving". ...and thats hard to grasp. So much of it just seems like a kid being "bad" just to be "bad"....and its not, and I know that now. I need to learn to be more compasionate and understanding. God help me. God help us get thru this.Hi Macsmom...Sorry you've had such a hard day...believe me, we've all been there! I was just wondering...Why did the doc go from 18mgs to 36mgs? I would think that the next step would be 27mgs. Just wondering...My son took Concerta for 2 years and did very well until last year. When we ramped up his does to 36mgs, we began to see the same thing your seeing. If you feel like this med isn't working for him, try something different. You are your childs best advocate and you know him best. If your concerned with this behavior, I would try something different. Every child is different and will react differently to each med. We've tried them all so I've walked down this meds road for awhile. It can take a very long time to find out what will be the best med and what dosage is right. Good Luck...I know your frustration, its just so hard to see our little guys struggling...big hugs to you mom!
I am wondering if the dose is too high for your son, call your doctor and report what had occured. My child was on concerta at one time and the higher dose did the same thing to her so I took her off of it. I like the Ritalin La better.Oh, wow, this sounds exactly like the behavior my dd had when she was on Concerta. Very sullen and unhappy. She would not play with any friends during that period. We changed meds to Ritalin LA, and that whole moodiness thing went away. She was on concerta for about 1 1/2 months. We titrated up to 36 mg, but the mood didn't get any better. Seriously, it was very scary for me and dh to watch. Based on my experience with it, I would suggest you try another med. My dd is currently is on 40 mg Ritalin LA and 15 mg short acting ritalin at 3.
I would also suggest not getting into a power struggle with him. No one wins. Let him eat what he wants. It's not worth the struggle, and there is always the possibility of triggering ODD in him. We've BTDT. PB&J for dinner? Fine! 
I SO know how you feel. I've come to realise that this terrible behaviour with my son is a sign of some underlying frustration (which he may not be able to verbalise) and I really have to communicate with all the adults involved in his life, ie doc, teacher, father to try and help. Can only suggest speaking to his doc, maybe the dosage is wrong. Did he know the dosage was going to change? Maybe that could explain his behaviour beforehand, subconsciously he knows something is "wrong with him" and is stressing about it? Just guessing, but I try to analyse my son's situation a lot.
Mac's mom, I sooooo know how frusterating trying to deal with ADHD. I have been a screamer and cusser too...tho, now that I am on meds myself (anxiety/depression) it is a bit better. I know that you want the best for your son--your frusteration and concern in your posts tells me this. I know you don't not cuss at him because you *want* him to feel worse. I bet you cuss and yell because you are so tired. So tired of dealing with it yourself. Even tho I am married *I* am the primary caregiver. I am the one who has to deal with the meltdowns. The fits. The bumps in the road. I know how draining that can be. I will not lecture you. You know cussing and screaming doesn't help--I know it too. I'll bet you would like to keep your cool 24/7. I would too. But will it happen? Not likely (for me anyway).
Just know that you are not the only one here to lose your cool. I hope you find relief and answers soon regarding his meds. Best Wishes...
Macsmom, Does he have regular bowel movements?
Most meds can cause some constipation. This might be causing the stomach aches. When my DFS, who is also on concerta moved in I noticed that each time he went in to a rage that he was also very gassy. I took him to the Dr. when they x-rayed him he was full of stool. They started him on colace. We had changed to a liquid stool softener due to the red dye in colace. Marked improvement in the gas and rages. But we also have been doing the marbles, aka house points 
and supplements. He is not prefect by any means but now we only have 1-2 bad hours verses 2-3 bad days. Country39019.3291087963macsmom
I too understand your frustrations.... I was in a horrible marriage and my son and I have since been on our own. I find myself tired on occasion and raising my voice. It is true that we must take care of ourselves to be any good for our children. My wise counselor finally got this through to me. Because I now find some time to myself on occasion I have found that my son is much more together as well. :-) Goodluck in finding what is the best route for your child and yourself. It will all come together for you. I finally found peace and think I'm doing a pretty good job of balancing my son's and my life. No one is perfect. We have some set backs once in while but what family doesn't.