ADHD Girl | ADHD Information

Hello NBMom,

      I saw your post; your daughter sounds EXACTLY like my daughter!   She is constantly having these 'fits' as I call them.  Having trouble remembering things.. 'freaks out' when she can't find something she lost, to the point where if it was right in front of her, she would not see it.  She is so forgetful.. so spacey it drives me nutts some days!  She'll forget to flush the toilet all the time!  She'll forget to turn out the light.. I'll ask her to do something and she'll get distracted and forget what I asked her to do...We have charts for almost every thing...  What time to get up what to do after you get up, eat breakfast, brush teeth; what to do when you get home from school it's the same thing everyday for the past two years, but she still needs a list... it's crazy.  My son, who is 6, doesn't have any of these issues, in fact he's better about it then her.

Ever since she was born, she has been difficult... not angry, just dramatic for the most part... always on the go, couldn't watch a TV show without getting distracted when the comercials come on... In the first grade, her teacher wanted me to have her evaluated, and I just thought that, she was just too young and immature, so I did not do anything about it... her grades were not that bad then (they didn't give real grades in first grade any way)... Now she is in 3rd grade and once again the teacher approched me with this, she's 8 and will be 9 in March.  I am finally doing something about it...

Yesterday she was dx with ADHD after an written evaluation that the school and I did, then I took this to the dr.  What a chore the office visit was... my daughter (as well as I) was unaware that they had to do a physical before hand, which meant she had to remove her clothes and wear the robe; in which she FREAKED OUT!!  Crying, tears, falling on the floor, 'screaming there's nothing wrong with me, I don't want to!!!! '  She carried on with this for about 20 mins before the doctor came in.  What was strange is that she finally did it, but was crying and carrying on at the same time... I know this sounds bad, but I was kind of glad that she had one of her fits there, so that the doctor could see what I have to deal with almost on a daily basis...anytime she finds out something she doesn't want to hear.. it's almost like I have to brace myself anytime I have to tell her something for fear that she will have a fit...

She was put on Adderall XR and I just pray that this will work, I am pretty much at my wits end!  I know my daughter has the potential to be a great, loving, kind and wonderful kid, it's just that she needs more focus, and hopefully the medicine will help her concentrate.

Thanks a ton to all of you who have sent me notes of support.  I feel like a commercial by saying "I needed that", but I truly did. 

We went to the dr. on Friday and they're upp'ing the dosage of my daughter's medication and also giving us the 'extended' tab so hopefully it will continue to work at home too.  We're trying this for only 7 days and if we don't see a difference, then we'll do another dosage increase til we get it right.

I did send an email to her teacher and she's checking on a mentor program at the school and assured me that my daughter DOES NOT have a learning disability - which the dr. suggested and that she (the teacher) was getting her under control and for me not to worry so much.  Course I also don't want to be that parent that doesn't care either. 

Some of you asked me some questions about my daughter and I'll answer them here.

Behavorial issues start in the a.m. - won't get out of bed (get's 10 hrs of sleep though) but won't get up until she wants to, won't pick up toys after playing with them, leaves a mess wherever she goes and won't pick it up - throws herself on the floor and complains about all sorts of "pretend ailments" she has (my foot hurts, my head hurts, I can't walk, I can't bend my arms- she's quit the actress too). 

I have tried all sorts of discipline and taking things away that for now, I pretty much just ignore the whining and wait til she's done and ask her to do the task again - course none of this has been working and I can hear ya'll laughing  at me right now for continued to do something that doesn't work - but I don't know what else to do. 

We had a spell on Saturday where I asked her to do something and she pulled the I can't and started whining on the floor.  After asking her nicely to stop she refused, so I picked her up and carried her to her room and told her when she was done she could come out - and she did as I said, but carrying a 62 lb child is hard for me to do and we almost tripped over the dog, who didn't know what the heck I was doing to his buddy.   

Well, that's enough for me for now, thanks again everyone - I truly appreciate it.

 

I think we might have "twins" on our hands.  My daughter - Shelby  - can act like she's 14 yrs old at times and then resort back to 5 yrs old.  I see the other girls in her class and they just seem like little grown ups.  Shelby is always complaining that nobody likes her and no one wants to be her friend, etc...but when I see her with other kids, no matter how old they are - seems Shelby is always in charge - a leader I guess.  Which you want your kid to be somewhat like that but not too much and you certainly don't want them standing in the background either.  

I'm sure Shelby is trying to help me find a mate, she sooooo wants a father figure in her life.  My dad was that til we lost him in April and I - personally feel that alot of this stems from the loss.  She has dreams and says "I don't want to die, I don't want to die" and I try to talk to her about it, but it's like talking to a man - she's already made her mind up. 

I can relate to the Walmart incident with me telling Shelby that if she didn't "straighten up", she'd go to bed with no supper.  She comes back and tells me that is against the law and that I just want her to die (cuz that's what will happen if she doesn't eat) and I can go to jail for that.  If I spank her - which is seldom and probably not hard enough - she threatens to call the police on me cuz your not supposed to hit your kids.  I know, who's the parent here right? 

Where abouts are ya'll located?

I know, I am so glad that I found your post, because most of the posts I read do not sound like Nicole... I totally understand how you hope the medicine doesn't keep her from being creative, Nicole is so creative as well. 

I am a single mom too; but I live with my fiancee who has been more of a father to her than her own father, and they get along pretty well for the most part.  We have been living together for over 2 years... we met of Match.com, so maybe your daughter's just trying to help...  Nicole is really helpful, when she wants to be..but most of the time she gets in the way...her brother used to be ok with her butting in an taking over when he was trying to figure something out... now he is starting to get angry at her because she doesn't let him try...  when I get involved she has one of her fits and I know it's SOOO embarrising..

Oh I have to tell you about a fit she had in a walmart parking lot..I can't remember how it started.. but she started screaming that she hated me, and she doesn't like me and I was hurting her, because I was trying to keep her from running around the parking lot, so as not to get hit, so I was pretty much dragging this 67 pound girl to the car because she was just screaming.. the worst part...people were staring at me, looking concerned.. I thought for sure I would be seeing a police car coming up soon.. it was SOOO embarrsing...  I think it would be different if she was a toddler, people expect that from a toddler, not a 4'8 ft 8 year old girl... and I am only 5'4" ...sometimes I just want to scream!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I put you on my buddy list as well, anytime you need to vent, just send me a note!

OMG - your right, that does sound like my daughter, to a T!  My daughter has dirty blond hair and I have dark brown hair - my nickname for her is "ditsy blond" (affectionatly of course).  She told me just yesterday that she was looking for her hairband and asked the teacher if she'd seen it, then realized it was around her neck!   She's oh so forgetful too - like you said with the tv - she pays more attention to the commercials then the actual show.  I am a single parent and she told me one day that there was a website for single people to find husbands....only from TV could she get that - we don't have a computer at home.  I have to admit that I'm scare that by making her focus more with medication, I'm going to close down some of her creativity - she's so creative (when she wants to be of course).  I soooo can relate to your story - my daughter pitches those embarrassing fits too and sometimes right out of the blue - your right, we have to watch what we say, how we say it, etc. or they'll go balistic on us.

I've added you to my buddy list - hopefully we can help each other, if nothing else, just knowing that it's not just US!

 

Hey nicharmom, we're neighbors!  I'm in Carmel!

Hi NBMom,

        My daughter does those things as well.  I just wanted to let you know, that I see a difference in her after only 2 days on the Adderall!  I can't believe the change... I just hope that it's not a whim... Although I do notice that after about 7:30PM, she's back to her old self... resisting, getting frustrated and so on.. so it made halloween really pleasant...   She was actually reading yesterday, without me pushing her to read and she wasn't getting distracted by her brother and I walking around (which is really unlike her); she was so focused on the book, it was quite amazing!  I may have hope for this stuff, if it continues, I'll wish I started her on this a lot sooner!

We are in Indianapolis, where are you?

 

 

Hugs to you!

I myself feel like I am talking to the wall and I also do not have the support of my hubby on this.

It is hard on us as parents too. Maybe you could speak with your own doctor about the issues you are having. I did this week and am now on Paxil for depression. I know I needed it. (I also suffer from PMDD which makes things more awful around here at least two days out of the month)

I am new to the boards also. Joined this morning. But wanted to welcome you.

Hello and welcome.  Sorry you are feeling so badly today.  Our experience has been that if the med dosage is at the therapeutic level, dd is MUCH easier to get along with.  She actually gets As in conduct at school but she's a little hellion at home when the meds are out of her system.    Anyway, make sure you have the right dosage for your dd.  Maybe you need a specialist to do this, such as a developmental pediatrician or child psychiatrist.  They really are better than you regular pediatrician because they see ADHD kids all the time and are much more experienced with all the different meds and med combos. 

Your dd is older than my two, but I have heard that 3rd grade is a big step up in academics.  Lots of kids struggle in 3rd.  So you are not alone!

Also check out the Marble thread by ogram at the top of this forum. It is a positive reinforcement behavior modification plan that works for many (including my family). It can be used at school as well.When does your daughter pitch fits?  In the morning, during school, afterschool or in the pm?  Does it always happen at the same time of day?  How much of this do you think is tied up in your father's death?  Are there any other changes that could be contributing to this?  Has your daughter talked to a counsellor or clergyperson about how she feels about her g'fathers death?  

First things first.  You need to call the schools counselor and ask them to have an ARD meeting.  That is for them to have a diagnostician to test your daughter in a very simple and discrete method to find out if she would qualify for any special services like extra help in any of her classes or extra time on tests or reading.  They will then call a meeting and have all of the results and recommendations there for you.  They will all tell you what they suggest and if you approve your daughter will then be able to get the extra help she needs.  That will help her in the class room and they might even be able to help her with some grief counseling for her loss.  there are many other things the school can help you with.  Secondly, what kind of dr dxed her and what kind of tests did they run?   Ritalin might not be the answer.  You might want to call the dr and specifically ask the dr to try adderall.  That might make a world of difference.  Some of the medications just don't work for some children.  Ritalin didn't work for my son, but it does for many others.  There are some other things that will help too.  You might want to read the alt med boards.  There are some really good all natural things you can give her like Omegas that will work really well ALONG with the rx from the dr.  Hope this helps.  And remember, you are not alone!

btw - Welcome to the board!

Welcome NBMono - I only just recently found this forum myself.  You will find a lot of help here.  It took awhile to make my family understand DS had real issues as well.  Their answer was to tell me to spank him into good behavior.  Yea right!  Like that works!  NOT!!!  now 4.5 years after his diagnosis, which is 4.5 years I have been working on them to understand, well they get it now.  Just do what you gotta do - ignore what they say and take care of your DD.  Time will help.

I have to say that DS is generally a good kid - definitely has a good heart.  But he does have his issues.  We have spent ALOT of time in counselors offices learning to change his behavior.  The sessions were for him - but we (parents) usually spent half the time discussing DS.

On another note - have you had the school start the IEP process?  It sounds like your DD could really benifit form one.

Would you believe that her every-day Pedi dx'ed her.  She gave me some worksheets for her teacher, me and her past teachers to fill out and based on that, she said ADHD.  We had counceling at the school for her last year and it helped some, but now the councelor is leaving in December and they don't have another one on hand yet.  I honestly feel that at times, they see me coming and run.  I'm the mom with the brat (or that's what I think they're saying).  But I will take your advice and see what else I can get for her through the school.  She also had a college buddy that came to see her on Friday's last year - I'll look into that as well.  I like what you said about alternative natural things I can give her - will check that out too.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my "blurb" and reply -

I'm new here to ADHDNews.com and I'm so thankful that I found you all when I did.  My 8-yr old daughter went from A-B honor roll in 2nd grade to barely making it in 3rd grade.  We did suffer the lost of my father (her grandfather) to brain cancer this year.  He was her only father figure since her birth father has had no interest in her since birth.  I know that she's afraid of all of us dying now and have talked with her repeatedly about death, how, why, when, etc. 

But one of the things I've noticed in reading all the other postings is that no matter what we tell them, how patient we are with them, it doesn't seem to matter.  The promise and carry out of punishments don't make one bit of difference.  It's almost like she forgets that she got into trouble before for doing the same thing she's doing now. (whatever behavior that may be).

We've just finished our 1st month of Redallin and had a follow-up appt today.  The dr. put her on a higher dose and prescribed the longer lasting pill.  One of worst things my daughter does to me is throw herself on the floor like a 5 yr old and pitch a fit.  I almost want to say she was better behaved at 5 than she is at 8 and I've don't nothing different with her. I've been stern when I had to be and I've explained more things to her to keep her out of trouble.  And still.....it's like I'm talking to a brick wall. 

I get notes home from the teacher almost daily and also conferences with the afterschool care teachers - I go home and talk to my daughter about her behavior and how it's unacceptable and we don't act like that and you'll get kicked out if they can't control you and how if you do it again, there will be consequences to pay for it.  Next day, same thing.  AAUUGGHH - I'm almost wondering if "I" need to be on medicaiton just to be able to deal with all this.  I am a single mother with limited family or help.

Do we all agree that our kids are basically "good kids" with the exception to ADHD?  I'm now getting comments from my family that she just needs dicipline and you'd better get control of her now, it's only going to get worse, she'll be trouble when she grows up, etc.  Why can't anyone say "what can we do to help you"?  I guess only they can answer that and I should probably ask them myself.

Well, thanks for "reading", feels good to get it off my chest and also to have someone who knows what I'm talking about - read it.

 

 

 

 

Yeah!!!!  And congrats on the success.  I'm so happy for you!!!!! 

We started Shelby on the Ritalin longer lasting pill yesterday morning and I too saw something in amazement.  Yesterday I found myself feeling a bit down - it's only been 6 months since I lost my father to brain cancer and I was his baby girl - and I honestly think that it's just now hitting me!  I can't stop thinking about him and I can't stop crying - so I hold it inside for a long time and I think the gates have just opened cuz I can't hold them back anymore.  And this all this ADHD stuff, wanting/trying to help my daughter, all and all while it's also taking it's tole on me.

So I went  home to just be alone for a while.  When I picked my daughter up from school she was very concerned for me and wanted to care for me (I told her I had a migraine).  When I told her I just wanted to lay in bed and watch some tv without interuption she said o.k. and did everything she could to make sure that even the dog didn't bother me.  Then when I went in to tuck her in for bed, she was sitting there playing with her Leap Frog - she's not done that in soooo long.  Just sitting and doing something - quietly!  I was shocked and so happy. 

And then this a.m. - she informed me that wearing sweatpants to school was for babies and got herself a pair of pants, tucked her shirt in (which I've been asking her to do for 2 years with some outfits and she refused), and she put on a belt!! This is all so out of the ordinary for her, she insists in dressing herself and some of the things she wears dont' match but she thinks she looks good - she even draws outfits that she wants to make or for me to buy. 

Anyway - I hope it's the medicine helping her cuz I like this little girl a whole lot better!!

We live in the great state of TEXAS!!! New Braunfels actually, where they were filming Good Morning America from today. 

 

 

LOW SUGAR LEVEL CAN EFFECT MORNING WAKEUP ALSO. i TAKE MY KIDS A SMALL GLASS OF JUICE WITH SUPPLEMENTS. HELPS GREATLY. TEENS GENERALLY ARE NOT MORNING PEOPLE THIS IS NORMAL ARE YOU AWARE THEY NEED MORE SLEEP THAN ELEMENTRY KIDS DO. THIS IS WHY MOST SCHOOLS EXCEPT IN SMALL TOWNS THEY START LATER AND END LATER IN SCHOOL.

TX. WAHOO.OFF MEDS ARE SON DRESSES HIMSELF. HE EVEN WILL PICK THEM OUT.

i LOVE LEAP FROG STUFF WISH HELPED HIM BUT IT HASN'T. lOVE THE STUFF BUT THE BOOKS ARE EXPENSIVE. HE WANTS THE VIDEO GAME SYSTEM.

i TELL dANIEL WHAT OTHERS THINK DOERSN'T MATER IT'S WHAT YOU THINK THAT MATTERS.