New member venting | ADHD Information
Welcome Tonya,
Reading your post almost made me cry. I have a 6 year old with ADHD. He was always running around, could not sit still, talking constantly, impulsuve, NO friends at preschool, NEVER invited to parties etc.....The preschool teacher who had been working for 20 years is the one who recommended I get my son evaluated. I thought I was just a rotten mother. I IMMEDIATELY put my son on meds. Our house was SO stressed out, my marriage falling apart from the stress of day to day living with this child.
I started to think back to my childhood. I am now 41. I was hyperactive, spoke all the time, hardly ever invited to parties, picked on at school, always the odd one out. This also was the case at home. My mother could not deal with me and showed preferential treatment to my sisters. As a result, today, they are close, see each other regularly, go on trips together. One of my sisters has not called my home in over 3 years. They threw their wedding showers for each other, none for me. They are godparents to each others first born children, my kids dont even get birthday cards. I did not want my son to suffer the same fate as me.
Medicating was an easy decision for me and the right one. I posted earlier that I just had my sons first ever teacher conference and was told how wonderful he was doing. She said that there were several troubloe makers in class but that my child was not one of them. 
I came home and cried.
Write whatever you feel here, you are welcome at all times....leslie
To All -
I have been on this site since my son was dx in September. Right now he is on Dexedrine 10mg. He is doing well. The teacher is really happy with the turn around he has done. My concern is that I spend alot of time with him. He (they demand) so much of your time. Then, by the time I am doing getting him settled I have very little time for his older brother (who does not have ADHD) or my husband. My mom takes the boys every so often but she works long hours so it is not fair to pawn my kids off on her when she is looking forward to the weekend just like me. My mother in law secretly told my father in law (who let it slip) that she would rather watch 10 of my nephew then just my son.
How do you divide your time and help the family to understand that this is not his fault. He did not choose to be this way.
Question: With him being on meds I have noticed that he cries alot. I am not sure if that is a side effect?
Maxed Out
Tonya, reading your description of your Daughter was like reading about my son (He's 4, 5 in Feb.). Carson has been on Ritalin for about 2 months. His behaviour has improved quite a bit...but he still has his "moments". Mainly in the afternoons when he is coming off the meds. We also have to give him smaller doses but more frequently right now. He was having some side effects that were truly undesirable (crying jags, isolating, major meltdowns). His teacher and the aid in his classroom (PreK) are wonderful. They give me daily reports of behaviour. And alot (!!) of praise is given to him both at school and at home. We use the marble tecnique with a few modifications--it works great for him. I only have to mention "I really do not want to take marbles out of your 'happy jar'" For him to straighten up. Not to say that meds are the cure all. We still have problems--but the problems almost seem like small hills instead of looming mountains.
I hope you find relief soon. I know how hard it is to hear that dx. The key is to educate yourself. One book I even bought was "ADHD For Dummies"---then highlighted some key things for both my husband to read as well as Carson's teacher (her 24 year old son is going to see a Psychaitrist soon after reading some info in the book). Good Luck...
Martie. Mom to 4...1 with ADHD moderate to severe.
Welcome to the board. You don't have an idea on how this board has helped me in facing my son's adhd. What can I say? "Everything you can do to help your kid be happy is really worth it and the most important thing in life". Since my son was dx, he is my most important event. Feel free to share all you want to share, we are here to help with our own experiences.
Welcome!!!
Hello again Tonyas!
Some of the books Scotmama got was -
The Explosive Child by Ross W Greene PHD
add/adhd Behaviour -change resource Kit by Grad L. Flick PHD
oH AND READERS DIGEST FOODS THAT HARM AND FOODS THAT HEAL?
has things like case studies - like how cheese can effect .
For example in itfor hyperactivity it say to avoid caffeine in coffee tea and cola drinks, foods high in salicylates wich occur nturally in most fruits but the big ones are grapes apricots peaches and plums?(was told it has something to do with fermintation in the gut, not to sure myself ?)
Jude still gets apples and grapes though!!
Happy HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!
HI, I was just like you when my son was diagnosed... But hang in there, medications can be quite a bumpy road....
Good Luck
Again I say thank you to all of you who have replied. This site has been soooo extremely informative & helpful to me & my husband. We are now actually looking forward to my daughters appointment next week for medication. After reading everyones stories it seems that there has been a lot of success for the children....a lot of bumps too, but the way I am going to look at it the bumps sure sound a lot better than just falling into a big rut! I will keep everyone posted on our daughters progress.
Tonyas
I have a kind of unique perspective here in that I have one child who was dx as an adult and one child who is 10 and dx and on an effective medicine.
Looking back, our oldest daughter always had social issues, explosive outbursts, and no end of issues with school and teachers. We just thought we were horrible parents--we were young when she was born (19), and had no other children until she was almost 7. She went all the way through school by the skin of her teeth and she always tested way above grade level on all of the standardized proficiecy tests given yearly at our school. Frustrating. But the worst thing was at home. We never knew what would set her off onto a tangent. She slammed doors and threw things beginning at a very young age. I remember at one point, I was putting any toy she threw (in anger) into time out on top of the fridge (the only place she couldn't get to) and ALL of her toys ended up there! She threw a toy at her sister in later years...she was in middle school I believe..and just about broke the sisters finger. My husband came home (due to a distress call by daughter #2) to find daughter # 1, who is over 6 years older and SO much larger than daughter#2 at this point, pinning daughter #2 down with fist poised for another punch! By this time the oldest was in high school (15), and the other one was 9...we THOUGHT we could leave them alone for the few hours that I worked at a daycare/preschool each day. When I was pregnant for my last one, she ws 15, and so angry about the baby during the pregnancy that I feared leaving her with him at first. (It ended up that once the name she chose won out, and she saw him she fell in love, and became his 2nd mommy)
Fast forward to 2 years ago when my baby (aged 8) began having major issues with grades in school, seatwork, not staying on task, etc. The oldest (now in her 20's)tells me that after she moved out at 18 to get married and moved away, she sought help for her anger and impulsive issues,and was diagnosed ADHD. She took drugs that helped her to be calmer (her hubby reports that she is a different person on the meds...we have never seen it) but they do not have insurance and she was also weary of the med roller coaster--one of the meds gave her bad side effects and she was too impatient to go on...we continue to try to convince her. But, she begged me for almost 2 years to get him the help he needed, saying "Mom, think of his potential, do NOT make him go through what I went through in school! He is feeling confused, and doesn't know why he can't finish those papers like the other kids, he is feeling stupid, unable to learn, etc." I finally caved and began the dx road with the school and his ped.
It has been mostly great, I was one of the lucky ones...the first drug that we tried turned the corner for him. He is on Concerta, and the only side effect so far is some appetite loss. Unless you count a total turn around in school as a side effect! He has been medicated since last March, and last years' final grade card was all A's and B's, the first one this year is ALL A's!!! He rarely managed one A in the multitude of C's that we worked mightily daily to keep. I honestly felt like the work I did each night to keep him on task should have earned me a grade!
His papers come home now with comments like "Chase, you are very good at Social Studies" instead of comments like "Follow directions!" or "Answer in complete sentences!" or "Incomplete!!" I do not have room on the fridge for the papers that come home with 100% now (I have to rotate) when before one lone paper would hold that place of honor for weeks before another would come home to replace it.
But best of all is how his self esteem has soared. He now feels such pride in his accomplishments, and when he has an off day and gets a not so good paper, he know that he can redeem it tomorrow, that he has the ability to succeed. That makes me tear up and almost cry...before he would always tell me, "Mom, I am just too dumb, face it, I will NEVER get an A" Now it is "Mom, I am gonna get straight A's all year!!" Now I don't care if he gets straight A's, but he feels that it is possible for him and before he never dreamt it, let alone felt that way.
Meds aren't always bad, sometimes the alternative is the worse choice...my daughter still sometimes says to me "Mom, just think of how I could have been different, if you and dad had known about this when I was young" She says this wistfully, and it always breaks my heart. She is a successful adult, married with 3 small children. She owns and runs a dance studio that is in its 3rd year and going strong. And she remains unmedicated. But all of us that deal with her know that and try to make allowances when she gets unreasonable. I wish that she would try meds again, but that is her decision. One horrible experience with Strattera put her off the medicine trail. I continue to try to convince her to do a trial of Concerta, the medicine that has so helped Chase. Chase is going to try to talk to her now, maybe that will do the trick.
Good luck, try the alternative route, but if that doesn't work, know that medicating your child may indeed be the best thing you can do for her.
Welcome to the board TonyasHi, I have a 7 year old daughter that was just diagnosed with ADHD. Our challenges started when she was in kindergarten. I was constantly being pulled aside by her teacher who would tell me how naughty my child was. She put her on a daily behavior chart & let me just say there was only 1 good chart for the entire school year. Her dad was in Iraq at the time, so I just assumed that she was dealing with her stress by being unruly. Then came 1st grade, new school, dad was home now & we thought things would be great.....they were for the first 2 weeks of school. Then the same things were happening & again like running around the class, not paying attention or listening & so on, so needles to say we had the daily behavior charts again. Long story short, my daughter is now repeating the 1st grade at another new school (we moved). She was still doing the same thing at home as well as at school. Some days she just acts like she is totally ignoring everyone & will not listen, she has a very hard time concentrating & sitting still. A lot of people just tell us that she needs more discipline & that we should be stricter because she is out of control. Timeouts do not work, nor does anything else, it's almost like talking to a brick wall. We are finally glad to have a reason for why she acts the way she does. We have not yet started any medication, we go back next week to meet with the pediatric psychatrist for the medication part. I am kind of scared about medication, but if it will help her be successful in life then I am all for it. I have never known anyone or anything about ADHD, nor does anyone that I know. I would love any advice that anyone can give. Thanks for reading my venting, I needed this as I am very tired.medications can be very helpful for ADHD in the class room. i suggest you take her to a neuropsy dr. my son has been on meds for about 5 years now (he's going to be 9 next month). Best decision I ever made! But each child responds differently. If it will help her in school it might be a good idea. Talk to your dr about it and get a second opinion about it and if you are still not sure, get a 3rd. Ask as many questions as you can. Make sure you feel it's the best decision for her. You are in the right place!
Welcome to the board!
I am in a very similar position with my son. He repeated the Reception year and is now in first grade but older than his peers. I am also going to the paed soon with him. I'm at desperation point - he's not on meds at the moment but I can't let his misery continue. If tablets are the only thing that will help him then so be it.Tonyas welcome to the board me and my wife Scotmama are very similar to you we are also concerned by the thought of medication . Scotmama is ADD and Jude who is four is ADHD.
Here in the Uk he is to young for Ritalin and concerta so therout we are taking is homeopathic remodies allong with an IEP at his nursury and child phsyc. There is alot of help on the board here and i am sure some of the mums will give you some of the names of the books they have for reference ill look out the same and give you them too. Dont feel you are alone theres plenty of us so vent away!!
Happy HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome Tonya.....treatment decisions can be scary initially because we want to be certain that we are making the best decisions for our children. The best way to make these decisions is never through fear, but rather knowledge, accurate knowledge. My biggest fears for my son was not about putting him on medication but rather what would happened down the road if he went untreated or was given treatment that was not proven to help manage the symptoms of ADHD effectively. Ineffective treatment to me was the same thing as being untreated and meanwhile, years are going by and more damage is being done.
Do much research and then discuss what you have learned with your child's doctors. Together in a collaborate effort with the doctors you will devise a treatment plan suited to your child's needs. If you decide to medicate, it is most effective when done in conjunction with a good behavior modification because medication alone is not a magic pill. It will allow your child the ability to make a choice rather than act on impulse and it also unlocks the childs potential because they can now concentrate and are not distracted by everything else around them. Good luck to you and please keep us posted
Hi and WELCOME to the board! I have a 7 yo daughter too! So sorry that you have to embark on this journey. Getting started can be a little rocky because you have to learn about all these different things: ADHD, medication, school interventions, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc., etc. Good luck with getting her started on meds. Once you get the right med and dosage, your life should be a lot better. But it's going to take a while, so be patient! And check out some books on ADHD and educate yourself as much as possible. It's worth the time.