1 step forward - 2 steps back | ADHD Information
Hesmyp&J.
OH god no dont worry about telling us whats happeining its good to know other people are going through what we are going through.
The Phsy said to us that that we did have to make time for Alana to make sure she didnt feel left out, This was due to Jude menopilising all our time and CONVERSATIONS.
We have tried a few suggestions now best one i think is "when he is bad we took him aside and got down to his level and talked to him looking in his eyes". The sitting on the naughty step just didnt seem to work as he forgets why or what he has done and seems o zoom over his head. The picking him up and sitting on your knee and giving a soft cuddle while disciplining was also good it is supposed to reassure him he is loved while givin him a message or something like that ( i think this one makesus feel better to)
Happyrock.
God that sounds hard on the wee lamb . What do you do to compensate his feeling low ? dose he get treats for a week of good behaviour or are you reinforcing him in another way?
Yes Scotdaddy, it's been hard on him. We moved schools but the prblem has just resurfaced and as a result the psychiatist has told us he needs to be homeschooled. So 3 weeks ago we started - the school year in australia finishes in December and his classroom teacher was leaving to have a baby. The anxiety had resulted in his academic levels dropping 4 years and therefore effectively stopping learning. His older sister (15) has gone to boarding school this year so she could get some freedom from this situation and its been amazing to see her grow and shine. Also it has given us time to focus on him. It makes you cry when a 13 year old tells you he wants to be taken to a doctor to give him an injection so he will never wake up. The next day I pulled him out of school. During this time we will explore his medications (never seem to be right) and also push more alternate supplements - a lot easier when you are at home all day.
The lesson we have learnt is the behaviour is a sign that something may be happening. Medications are not a cure on their own. We will get over this one day at a time !!!!!
Around the 11 year old mark was the time we saw a huge difference in our son. He changed - he was being bullied at school and became extremely paranoid about having to take medications. All of a sudden he knew he was different and so did the other children who saw him then as a target. I was actually teaching at the school and could do nothing to help him. He fell into a depression and although he had always been anxious the anxiety increase dramatically. On talking to a social worker who works with children with disabilities, 11 is the prime age for kids to realise they stand out. Every pre-teen and teenager want to belong/ be like every one else. Keep an eye on him as it could be things happening at school that are having an effect on his self-esteem. He then comes home and takes it out on his sister. Just a thought.I am so frustrated right now. DS has been diagnosed with ADHD (severe) and ODD since he was 7 - he is now 11.5. He is on 4 different meds which help tremendously. Yesterday he started being a real real jerk to everyone. Continued this morning - very argumentative and disrespectful. Tonight he is even a bigger jerk. 4yo DD is crying and very upset. I have warned him repeatedly. I told him if he could not clean up his attitude he would clean up the kitchen (IE. dishes). That resulted in a temper tantrum. Screaming, crying, begging, throwing etc. I threw away a toy snake he threw and that stopped the throwing. Finally after 30 minutes of screaming and crying in his room I told him he needs to get control; more begging and screaming.
I want to beat my head against a wall. When I went upstairs for 3 minutes he started in on his sister - had her in tears that fast. Is this hormones? Is it going to get worse? Right now I really don't think I can handle it right. Mostly I have a pretty good handle on things, but some days it is so overwhelming.
I know I say it to you all and I need to keep it in mind - one day at a time. But days like this are so trying. He has been doing so good lately. Guess times like this are to make me appreciate the good times. Just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.
scotdaddy - u r right. DS does see DD as competition - I understand that but am not sure how to stop it. My son was diagnosed at age 7. My daughter is now 4. DS is 11.5
Basically for 7 years my son was such a handful - we did not feel we could deal with another even though we wanted another SO bad. Once we had a diagnosis and understood the situation we decided we would try for another and the Good Lord rewarded us immediently. DD is a wonderful child as is DS only without the issues.
But trying to "handle" his issues can sometimes cause intense stress. I worry about the effect on DD. DD is SO mature for her age and DS is SOOOO immature for his age. Where is the median?
How do I keep them both progressing without looking at each other as competition?
I guess i am just a worry wort tonight, I am sorry to bother everyone with my concerns, as I said some days are worse than others.
We were informed by our child Phsycologist that ADHD children lash out at other siblings. Our son Jude is younger than Alana and still attacks here at random now and again he also has tried to destroy all the pictures we had on show of Alana by herself, the ones with the two of them in were ok.
The doc said and excuse me for trying to explain it like he dose
"Your child see`s his sister as an intruder in his "space bubble"( his words not mine) and feels he is viaing for attention with his sibling which causes him to last out. We have to show him he is not the only one in the house and is not always first.
Hope this helps?
{{{ Big Hugs }}}
Who knows what is happening? Maybe someone was mean to him at school today, so he takes it out on you all? Our kiddos can be such mysteries sometimes.
I am so frustrated right now. DS has been diagnosed with ADHD (severe) and ODD since he was 7 - he is now 11.5. He is on 4 different meds which help tremendously. Yesterday he started being a real real jerk to everyone. Continued this morning - very argumentative and disrespectful. Tonight he is even a bigger jerk. 4yo DD is crying and very upset. I have warned him repeatedly. I told him if he could not clean up his attitude he would clean up the kitchen (IE. dishes). That resulted in a temper tantrum. Screaming, crying, begging, throwing etc. I threw away a toy snake he threw and that stopped the throwing. Finally after 30 minutes of screaming and crying in his room I told him he needs to get control; more begging and screaming.
I want to beat my head against a wall. When I went upstairs for 3 minutes he started in on his sister - had her in tears that fast. Is this hormones? Is it going to get worse? Right now I really don't think I can handle it right. Mostly I have a pretty good handle on things, but some days it is so overwhelming.
I know I say it to you all and I need to keep it in mind - one day at a time. But days like this are so trying. He has been doing so good lately. Guess times like this are to make me appreciate the good times. Just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.[/QUOTE]
Have you ever thought about the possibility that he is going through puberty? I have been told by other moms on another adhd board that once these guys start puberty, we are back to figuring out medicine and the dosage. What worked for them prior to puberty, can stop. I may be wrong, but it's worth checking into. Poor guy, poor you. I feel so bad. We have been having some troubling nights, but my guy is 9 and I think he is overtired. But still, my heart goes out to you because we are all in the same situation but in different ways.
stay on the boards. I find it wonderful therapy for myself!!