I've done a search and found some threads on here, there are many, but I would like some people's opinions. Sorry if I ramble some.
My son was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD 3 years ago. We've recently switched his meds from 36mg Concerta to 20mg Daytrana and .01mg Clonidine in the evening. Things are going better with his behavior, etc. and the teachers say he is getting along better socially with his peers.
DS sees a counselor once a week for behavioral issues. After 2 sessions (this was back in May), he suggested my DS was immature for his age and anti-social. I was offended. I've done some checking and it seems immaturity is common among ADHD kids (am I right on this?) and and I feel he may have a mild PDD, possibly Aspargers, and would like an outside opinion (we also see the counselor today, do I bring this up to him? his pediatrician? He does not see a psych or any other specialist, but I'm going to try and get testing through a neuropsychologist - suggested on many threads for testing).
DS is very emotional, tender-hearted, but at other times mean and violent (mostly to myself and his younger brother). When a baby and toddler, he'd go to anyone. Never frightened. Loves people. He's always been a hugger (I've always been openly affectionate with my children and thought nothing of it) and would go up to strangers and compliment them or just start a conversation (more so up to age 6 or 7 versus now, more reluctant now). I've thought of him as very social, but I've always felt something was just not right when he interacts with kids his own age. I'm not sure how to describe it but it's just awkward and he doesn't seem to pick up on vague social cues (kids can be sarcastic or making fun of him and unless it's an "in your face" blunt approach, it just kind of goes over his head). DS comes home from playing many times crying because his feelings got hurt (don't want to play with him anymore, playing rough and he got hurt, other kid's parents said time to come in, etc.) He can be overly boisterous, very talkative, touchy and either too emotional (his normal) or no regard for their feelings at all (rare - when angry). He is not a risk taker at all. I've checked into the SID and APD and don't feel either of these apply.
Some of the above to me is normal, but I KNOW that he has something holding him back with his social skills to kids his own age. I took the test at childbrain.com and scored a 59 (mild pdd) and he has some symptoms of aspergers, but I don't think all because there were no indications before age 3 (that I remember).
He's very bright (attends gifted program), excels in reading, difficulty in math and writing and I have trouble getting him to join activities - he does and enjoys them until someone makes fun of his ability or he makes a mistake, then it's tantrums and he wants to quit until I talk him out of it. He has a low self esteem. Adults think he's "cute", smart and funny. Kids (mostly boys) his age think he's annoying or "weird".
Any ideas or suggestions? I feel that no matter how hard my little boy tries, he just can't "fit in" with the norm.
Hi and welcome! As you've seen already, there is a ton of great info here. It sounds like your son has some other issues other than ADHD. I agree with you that ADHD children are immature for their age. Russel Barkley, "Taking Charge of ADHD", said in the book that there is a 30% social delay. I definitely see that in my daughter.
I believe the way to obtain social skills is to participate in activities with his peers. Also, you can see if there are any social groups for his age group that is moderated by a psychologist. Maybe your school counselor would have some leads on that. Also, have you ever heard of social stories? That is another way to help your child to understand what to do in different social situations. There are lots of books out on that. Good Luck!
Have you checked into Autism? There are mild forms.OMG! Your son sounds just like mine. We just received a dignosis of ADHD. I was totally taken away but after reading everything about the disorder they couldn't be more right. We started struggling in Kinder and now in the first grade. We did not hold him back because academically he is doing good. But it is now starting to affect his academics. My son is a very young first grader, he turned 6 the last week in Aug. He is sometimes so emotional but he is just the sweets boy. We recently learned that his attention span is horrible. He can stay on task about 30% of the time while his peers are on task 80% of the time. This means 6mins out of 20 mins he is doing what he should be doing and 16 mins out of 20 mins his peers are doing what they should be doing. This just floored me. It must be so hard for him and I feel for him. So now I have been looking into Meds. I am still not sure and I am scared of the side effects but It just kills me to see that he is struggling so much. Well its good to see he is not the only one. I was kind of feeling lonly out here. I am not sure if I was any help to your post but you were helpful to me. Thanks![QUOTE=zjmom]I've done a search and found some threads on here, there are many, but I would like some people's opinions. Sorry if I ramble some.
My son was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD 3 years ago. We've recently switched his meds from 36mg Concerta to 20mg Daytrana and .01mg Clonidine in the evening. Things are going better with his behavior, etc. and the teachers say he is getting along better socially with his peers.
DS sees a counselor once a week for behavioral issues. After 2 sessions (this was back in May), he suggested my DS was immature for his age and anti-social. I was offended. I've done some checking and it seems immaturity is common among ADHD kids (am I right on this?) and and I feel he may have a mild PDD, possibly Aspargers, and would like an outside opinion (we also see the counselor today, do I bring this up to him? his pediatrician? He does not see a psych or any other specialist, but I'm going to try and get testing through a neuropsychologist - suggested on many threads for testing).
DS is very emotional, tender-hearted, but at other times mean and violent (mostly to myself and his younger brother). When a baby and toddler, he'd go to anyone. Never frightened. Loves people. He's always been a hugger (I've always been openly affectionate with my children and thought nothing of it) and would go up to strangers and compliment them or just start a conversation (more so up to age 6 or 7 versus now, more reluctant now). I've thought of him as very social, but I've always felt something was just not right when he interacts with kids his own age. I'm not sure how to describe it but it's just awkward and he doesn't seem to pick up on vague social cues (kids can be sarcastic or making fun of him and unless it's an "in your face" blunt approach, it just kind of goes over his head). DS comes home from playing many times crying because his feelings got hurt (don't want to play with him anymore, playing rough and he got hurt, other kid's parents said time to come in, etc.) He can be overly boisterous, very talkative, touchy and either too emotional (his normal) or no regard for their feelings at all (rare - when angry). He is not a risk taker at all. I've checked into the SID and APD and don't feel either of these apply.
Some of the above to me is normal, but I KNOW that he has something holding him back with his social skills to kids his own age. I took the test at childbrain.com and scored a 59 (mild pdd) and he has some symptoms of aspergers, but I don't think all because there were no indications before age 3 (that I remember).
He's very bright (attends gifted program), excels in reading, difficulty in math and writing and I have trouble getting him to join activities - he does and enjoys them until someone makes fun of his ability or he makes a mistake, then it's tantrums and he wants to quit until I talk him out of it. He has a low self esteem. Adults think he's "cute", smart and funny. Kids (mostly boys) his age think he's annoying or "weird".
Any ideas or suggestions? I feel that no matter how hard my little boy tries, he just can't "fit in" with the norm.
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I loved reading your message because my son is 9 and fits into a lot of what you say. He is not aspbergers just ADHD with a lot of HHH!
He is young socially for his age, very smart, both reading as well as math. He is thought of as annoying/weird by his age group, although they do accept him at school. We keep him involved in a sport each season. He is also the youngest in his class. My son was born the end of June and in my town, everyone keeps spring babies back for silly reason's. I didn't, he was too smart and needed the socializing. It is hard for him, but as long as he has an after school acitivity, like a sport to go to, he is fine.
Find something that your son enjoys and enroll him. We also did chess at the recreation center. Also, don't be afraid to go to a different town for "new" children to make "new" friends!! A lot of people I know, including my own neices did that due to bullying in their little town!!
Do what ever it takes to give him a social life!! Oh, and by the way, you are right about their social immaturities. Once you have a neuro test done that will answer a lot of questions!
How old is your son by the way??
Add or adhd can comorbid dx so request Se pays for a np evaluation. WE start this road this month payed by se. I read that the lack of the social issue with our kids is how the kids respond to OTHERS. Found this online under social problems for asd kids. THE PROBLEM WE HAD IS THE TEASING HE HAD MAINSTREAM.The bossyness also. I told him the kids aren't in charge. Social stories and software are available for this help. Are you aware attention issues can go with epilepsy and asd both. You can have all 3 going on. ZJ MOM YOUR CHILD SOUNDS ASPERGERS. MATH IS USUALLY WEEK FOR THEM. BLESSED, OUR SON WE SAW AS DIFFERENCE AT 4 MONTHS.I have not check out any books but I am keeping my eye out on them. Yes my son has been doing social stories for a while now. He is in Speech therapy and OT for his writing. We could not go see anyone till he was 6 and I am happy about that but it seems like Kinder could have been a much better year if we would have known then. Our school has been WONDERFUL. He has particapated in lots of sports, soccer, T-ball, swiming and soon he will be doing bowling and swiming again. He seems to love swiming. I try and keep him busy. We are also doing Tiger scouts for him. I figure that is a good program for him. He does have a hard time with kids his age but its almost like he doesn't know that. He is the class clown, always tring to make the kids laugh and they like him. But when he starts to disrupt they start saying things like "just ignore him" That doesn't seem to bother him (not yet), thank god. I do have another boy (2yrs) and we are going to keep an eye on him. We never had any problems with my first son till he was 4 and then it was like WOW who is this kid. We shall see.
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A little about us. I am 28 and in the military stationed in AK. My husband is 30 and is a fisherman. First son is 6 years in the first grade. Dignosised on 28 Sep 06 with ADHD (compined type). Second son is 2 years does not show signs.
Thanks!
high5me - I'm glad my post helped you!!! This is a good place for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or just see how everyone's doing - I'm glad you found it shortly after your son was diagnosed, I sure wish I would have!!!
I know how you feel about the whole med thing - I resisted for as long as possible. Just didn't like the all the neg. things you hear about side effects and the "unknown" effects. I can only tell you my opinion. We tried behavioral counseling before meds which didn't help a whole lot. After putting my son on meds - his grades improved and he was able to concentrate more, especially during tests, his "citizenship" grades (ya know, works well with others, uses time wisely, etc.) went from unsatisfactory to satisfactory and kids noticed his behavior and made positive comments to the teachers. That brought tears to my eyes because no one wanted to be around him because he was so annoying and goofy. Before meds he spent most the day in the hall or principles, now he rarely visits (which is good, because my son LIKES the principal and he enjoys visiting with her, it is not a very good negative consequence for him).
It's definitely a personal choice and if I'd known of the alternative methods, etc. I'd probably have tried all that, but all in all, we're in a good place now and ready to begin work on his social skills.
cr12345mr - Thanks for the info on the book by Russel Barkley. I've seen it elsewhere on the board and will definitely check it out. I'm not familiar with social stories, but will be pounding the books for that as well.ivanhoe - ASD, is that autism spectrum disorder? Does your child fall on the spectrum somewhere? Do you think my ds sounds aspergers from my story or due to his math difficulties? I have checked out the message board for ASD (?) and many posts I've read about their children with aspergers seems so much more severe than my son, yet he seems to be hanging on the edge of the spectrum.
Yes I have read attention problems can co-exist with ASD. Truthfully, I'm pretty frustrated with all the diagnosis and labels for everything if a child is not "perfect". It's hard for me to accept certain opinions/diagnosis when it seems just about any idiosynchrocy (sp?) a child has is determined to have a disorder to it. I'm very confused and scared what I might find I guess you could say. I want to help my son, but I don't want 50 labels attached to him and the social stigma that comes with it - he obviously has enough to deal with just being different.
I will be looking into the social stories suggested. Thank you.
My son is ADD inattentive and also sometimes gets anxious and stressed with commotion and unplanned events or rushing or when we spring things on him. The rest of us in the family can fly by the seat of our pants, but our way of doing things stresses him out. He's 15. Any advice or "tools" that work?BETHANN - Thanks for the advice on keeping my son involved in things. He does play baseball in the summers. During the school year, I don't get home from work until 6 and by the time homework, supper, showers, family time, etc. is done, we just don't have much time. He's does not do well with tight scheduling and all the hurriedness and commotion gives him anxiety. He does attend midweek at church on Wed. eve. We are members of the YMCA and I have thought about getting him in taekwondo. Scheduling with work is what's a mess - my husband works noon - 9:30 p.m. 20 miles out of town so he's not able to help at all.
Moving is not an option - I own my own business (have a partner) and am committed to this decision for at least 5 more years (don't want to sound ungrateful here, I LOVE what I do, but I also spend many nights here after the children go to bed and my husband comes home...off to work I go...again.).