I'm feeling the same way - Why? I don't know how you get around those feelings of resentment and anger. It is seems that life is too hard - I don't know when it gets better. At 13 and 15 I am just over meds etc - I just want someone else to shoulder the stress.
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I'm going to try Daffodil's suggestion of throwing it back at the Lord. I've heard people don't get given things they can't cope with. But if God wants me to cope He's going to have to show me how. Maybe this forum is one way God's shown me how to cope. I've only been on here just over a week, already I feel much more sane. At least if I've ahd a hectic day I know I can come on here and get advice, understanding and chat with people going through the same. A week ago I didn't have that. I really think this is going to help our little family cope.
Yip - crunch time is this weekend to make a decision. I wish it didn't depend so much on my mom. I work from home and wont be able to do it alone, and she's not young anymore. But it will only be for a month, so maybe some him and me and granny time will be what he needs. Will let you know what the outcome of this weekend's discussions are.
My oldest really does have a heart of gold. At 8 he worries about his dad's sore hip and my blood pressure, although I impress on him that he doesn't have to, it's my worry. Also, he really tries and doesn't know why he struggles to achieve. I bought some supplements today, one for memory and concentrationand the other cal / mag. I was only going to get the memory one (a tad on the expensive side) but he asked me really really pointedly to get the other one as well when he heard it was supposed to help him with anxiety. So, of course, I got it.
Hi Gutsy,
I'm feeling the same way - Why? I don't know how you get around those feelings of resentment and anger. It is seems that life is too hard - I don't know when it gets better. At 13 and 15 I am just over meds etc - I just want someone else to shoulder the stress. My only positves are their must be a reason!!! Hang in there. Make sure you take time for yourself.
They have him in the baby class anyhow don't they?
So, is he REALLY gaining anything from the hours in school? Except for his friendship with his little buddy...maybe you could arrange some playdates eith the other child, so he won't completely lose touch with him/her?
Taking a break may put him in a better frame of mind to begin anew at the new place...make him miss school, ya know?
HTH
HUGS.....What is the saying this too shall pass?? I asked my pastor why...how much more can i take before i break...he hugged me and stated sometimes GOd needs us to suffer to believe in him..not sure i understand that but sometimes u just need to put your hands in teh air and let him lead for a bit....i have doen that today..no fighting not screaming..no crying just God get me through today....that is all I ask :-)
i know how hard it is have have 3 kids and both my boys have ADHD and the older one also has ODD and and learning problems as well as a truck load of other problems. it can seem like a never ending battle at times, so days i just want to put my hair out other days i just want to sit and cry.
But you know what despite everything these kids are special, they have a special porpose for being put on this earth, it may not be clear right now y but it will be clear oneday. and as much as we struggle in helping them and dealing with them, we do get through everyday, it maybe one day at a time but we do get there. i feel that we are never given anymore than we can handle, it up to us though to find ways to help our selves get through it.
The best part i find is that when we do have a win with these kids i feel thats is so much more special, my son worte his first story yesturday and i felt like crying with joy, i wanted a copy of it so i could frame it. it was such a big milestone for him. but when i think back to my daughter, yes i was proud of her but it wasnt as much of a celebration when she wrotw her first story, it was just a fact of learning.
I had a teacher run upto me at the end of last year, she was so excited (this wasnt even during school times she just seen me and came running) she had to tell me that she was so proud and excited for my son cos that day was the first time he participated in her class. considering that was the end of the school year, she had put in so much work trying to get him to join in and it paid off for her, although i dont think he has joined in much this year but it was a break through. How many teachers do you know that would come running to parents so excited that the kid joined in. normally its just expected.
So i guess the moral is that yes it can be hard, and sometimes seem like it damn right impossible, but just remember how much more special it makes the good time. and try and focus on that. i hope this has helped you in someway, i was having a not so good start to the day myself, so it has been good for me to remember this as well.
Take a deep breath, have a cuppa, and go and have a break if you can, just take a little time for yourself, as you need to be at full stregnth to help these guys. i would suggest that you might consider meditation to reduce the stress and help you get a hold of things, and probably some vitamins, tell help build your immune system back up.
Keep strong
Salli
You're not alone in your feelings! I think we've all been there. It's hearbreaking, and worse everyone seems to blame the mother. I've also wondered why God is giving me so many difficulties, is it that He just doesn't love me? Am I cursed somehow? But now I just cast my burden upon the Lord, as it says somewhere in the Bible.I feel so bad for you! Hope that it goes better for you. Just know that you are doing what is best for your little one and forge on from there.
Good luck, and I will think of you and send you strength!
{{{Hugs}}} Sorry you had such a rotten day. Maybe tomorrow will be better...I have two sons, the oldest we think has got ADHD, the youngest has got Beckwith Weidemann Syndrome and probably ADD too. All of this we found out this year. My youngest is in his last year of creche and was doing Grade R, which is the year they do here before first grade. Turned out he wasn't coping, more like the school hasn't the foggiest clue how to teach him, and we've decided to put him in a remedial school next year where his needs will be met.
I have tried but really so far have not been able to reconcile myself to the fact that both my boys are struggling so much and that youngest won't be able to go to a "normal" school next year. I see kids of the same age who they've known for years doing so well, I know I shouldnt do that but I do, I'm a mother.
Plus the fact that he will have to be put on a bus and travel 20km to the remedial school and 20km back everyday. Traffic here is terrible and I can't get my heart around this (I don't have a car, and also no back up system at all). My parents are both working and hubby's parents are so absorbed in their other two grandkids who stay with their mom on the same proeprty they have no time for mine.
Anyway we're letting him finish out his year at this other creche where they've put him in the baby class. Today was his class concert, and they had the graduation of the other kids who've completed Grade R like he was supposed to. I really had a meltdown and nearly broke down there when I saw all the kids he has been with so long getting their certificates and praise for doing so well. They didn't even mention at all that my son will be leaving even though he has been there for five years. I felt so bad for him.
As well, my oldest picked this night to have one of his worst mood attacks ever, he couldn't manage his homework, couldn't be nice to his friend, was awful to his brother and was horrid to me, couldn't sit still at the concert, was up and down, complaining he couldn't see, was uncomfortable, wouldn't go sit with the other kids in front. I try to be really understanding. On top of it all I've got my 8th cold this year (we think from all the stress). I'm tired. And cross with God for giving us all this (do any of you have this weird reaction?)
Anyway sorry for the long post, I just needed to let off steam. Sometimes we seem to take two steps forward, other times it's three steps back.
Take it 1 day at a time.Yeah, today feels a bit better. My oldest actually sat down and read a book before going to school this morning. Okay afterwards he asked why he stillhas to have the book now that he's read it (i bought it for him yesterday and he had it signed by the author which was nice) but it's the first time he's read a whole book off his own bat like that. angel_eyes it's funny how you mentioned how much more an achievement by an ADHDer is worth. I had the same discussion with my son yesterday, I told him when he achieves, it's nearly worth four times what anyone without ADHD has achieved because he's had to work four times as hard. Trouble is at the moment we really seem on a rollercoaster. One day we have such good achievements, other days really not.
The little one hasn't wanted to go to school for the last month. He doesn't communicate well and can't tell me why. But I think he perceives everyone treats him as different. I had a big run in with them a month ago at that school and now I wonder if they're taking it out on him. My mom and I have been playing with the idea of taking him out for the last month and she would have him a bit in the mornings. He starts at a new school in January. What do you guys think would be the pros and cons of taking a little guy out of school for the last month? He has one special little friend that he plays with every day, here he would have to wait for his big brother to come home from school and lately they seem to bicker anyway. I also work from home and would be relying on my mom to keep him busy. Let me know what you think.