Is ths punishment correct? | ADHD Information

My son will occasionally get his name on the board and this = 5minutes of recess. I typically don't punish at home for this because he was already punished. He is very honest with me and tells me what he did and we have a talk about that behavior. Thank goodness he has not gone past the name on the board consequence. I pobably would give at home consequences if the behavior was getting worse or more frequent. I also like to reward for excellent days or weeks.

[QUOTE=longsally]

My DS came home from school today and told me he pulled 3 tickets. He was pulling 1 ticket a day until me started the token system and then for 3 weeks, no tickets at all. 1-warning, 2-lose 5 minutes at recess, 3-lose 10 minutes at recess, 4-lose all recess, 5- call to parents, principal's office.

I told him that 1- he lost 3 tokens for 3 tickets, 2- no candy from halloween this evening, 3-no playing with his friends outside, he must stay in the house and 4-going to bed early.

He has NEVER brought home that many tickets in one day and I wanted to impress upon hi the seriousness of what he did. When I ask what he did, he say's he doesn't remember.

Is it too much? Hubby thinks it is

[/QUOTE]

ADHDers sometimes have their difficult days. I personally wouldn't take away tokens that have already been given. But otherwise, it's not like you severely punished him, nor do you punish him regularly, so unless it becomes a pattern, I don't think it's going to hurt him.

I can understand some of the issues that you and your hubby are going through. My life partner (who has ADD) and our son (ADHD and 3) are really teaching me a lot. After reading what you wrote we talked about what we would do. Here is what we thought we would give you as some advice.

1.) First we totally agree with taking away the three tokens for the three tickets.

2.) No candy is understandable. Candy just tends to make the hyperactivity even worse... but if it is an after school snack I can agree because there will be time to "run it off" before bed.

3.) I can understand the no going outside... but maybe you should have let him out for a little while. Either make him come in earlier or make him go out later while you talk about why he recieved so many tickets. If your son does not understand why he recieved so many tickets maybe you and the teacher should have a communication system. Either she calls you and lets you know why he recieved so many tickets (he could have done something so small as talking out of turn too many times) or maybe she could write you a note and put it in a folder where notes between you as parents and the school can communicate and be clear about the behavior of your son.

4.) As for going to bed early... We are taking our son to a behavior therapist for ideas on how to deal with different thing he does and such. She tells us that the thing that a child with ADHD needs the most is structure. And doing anything that messes with that structure will throw him out of wack and he will go into a fit. So far this has worked and we have not had to deal with medications or anything.

So my best advice is to think before you react.

Hello,

I think I agree with FieryFairy on number 3, though you want to impress on your child on what he has done was not acceptable a little outlet is still needed, but with everything else..good show I think you were correct in doing so.

The important thing is what was impressed upon him by the teacher? A negative behaviour needs a response right away. I.e. if he pulls so many tickets which means min. off recess by 9a, would the punishment for that be a much effective at 12:30p when the recess occurs or would it be effective if the consequence waw right then an there?

What I found for my "little angel" was his teacher used to give check marks for if he had a bad day depending when the behaviour was done, right at that moment. (of course she weighed the behaviour) I had a chart at home, every time he had a good day we did or he did an extra activity that he like to do for i.e. 5 extra min. whether that would be a game, reading a book, etc. If he came home with a check mark no activity "reward" would be given. At the end of each week depending on how well he did it was a special activitiy:

i.e. 5 good days = XXXXX

4 good days =XXXXX

etc.

If the had a majority of a good month we did an extra special activity so when he came home and whether he had a good day or a bad day he new what to expect. Nothing was taken away if it was a bad, he just did not get extra. Now the chart might work for some people and not for others, but as you know with ADHD kids it has to be consistent. Also, with my child I would change it up a little because he would get board and would be like so what if I dont get and extra 5 min. of XXXX

After a while I think he started to have ideal behaviour unconciously so I pulled back basically weaning him off because he is supposed to have good behaviour, etc.

I hope this helps......

I told him that 1- he lost 3 tokens for 3 tickets, 2- no candy from halloween this evening, 3-no playing with his friends outside, he must stay in the house and 4-going to bed early.

He has NEVER brought home that many tickets in one day and I wanted to impress upon hi the seriousness of what he did. When I ask what he did, he say's he doesn't remember.

Is it too much? Hubby thinks it is

[QUOTE=longsally]

I told him that 1- he lost 3 tokens for 3 tickets, 2- no candy from halloween this evening, 3-no playing with his friends outside, he must stay in the house and 4-going to bed early.

He has NEVER brought home that many tickets in one day and I wanted to impress upon hi the seriousness of what he did. When I ask what he did, he say's he doesn't remember.

Is it too much? Hubby thinks it is

[/QUOTE]

No, not at all. I would have done the same thing. Remember, to take the FUN things away because it's the FUN things that kids grow attached to...

I think we ADHD people (children and adults) are like dogs and cats....., you can't punish us after a while! I believe your son, he probably do not remember the hole thing! Just distant meories of it.... But for a normal child, or as an instant reaction I think it is totally acceptable!i would have done the same thing. keeping it consistent is the right thing to do. she will know exactly what to expect next time and remember to think before she acts. Way to go!!! Keep me posted on how it goes.

I don't know about your son, but my dd seems genuinely confused sometimes when she's punished. She remembers that she can't [xyz], but can't remember what she did that caused it. That makes it so damn frustrating.

I don't think that what you did was wrong, though. Just keep in mind that if it doesn't work, you may have to try something different.