I am a BAD mother! | ADHD Information

My DS is 11 and takes 4 different pills in the morning.  He knows what to take and other than a gentle reminder he has had no problems making sure he takes them at the right times and doses.  This morning after my shower I go downstairs for some coffee and DS is in the hallway.  I asked him if you ate breakfast - he said "Yes".  I asked him if he took his pills - he said "Yes".   I tell him to go brush his teeth and get dressed.  I go back up to get dressed.  I come back down about 15min later and he is dressed and in the kitchen - getting out his pills.  I ask him what he is doing? Didn't you already take them?  He said No.  I reminded him that I asked him and he said he had.  He again said no and said he must have said the wrong thing earlier. 

Well I get a call from the school telling me DS keeps nodding off and acting really dopey.  The say that he is working very hard though and really wanting to get all his work done (not normal behavior).  They wonder if he had cough medicine or something this morning because he keeps nodding off.

OMG!!!!  He took 2 dose's of his pills this morning.  8 pills in all!!  So he keeps falling asleep BUT he is VERY focused and working hard.  I feel so awful!  All the Dr. and counselor told me it was a good thing to allow him "ownership" of his meds.  Well, no more - I am stopping tonight to get a pill box thingies and go back to me dispensing one dose at a time to him. 

I am a horrible mom.  I am fighting back tears I feel so bad.  Go a head and flame me - I deserve it.

 

YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM!!!  You were doing what you thought was the best thing for your son.  It didn't work out this morning, it is okay...really. 

What ese could you have done differently? You questioned him about already taking them.  Would you have felt comfortable telling him to NOT take them this morning?

Do not beat yourself up about this....chances are it is a valuable lesson learned for him as well.  He will think twice the next time you question him and maybe not make this mistake again.

What I do is to set Chases meds and suppliments out in a little condiment cup on the table with his breakfast, and then he takes them along with it.  He is 10, and my doctor has never told me to have him take responsibility for them himself...

One day about a week ago, I was clearing the table from breakfast after he had been in school for about 1 hour, and I see that his Concerta was still there!  I called the school, told them that I was bringing it to him and to have him come to the office....when I got there, he insisted that he HAD taken it, but since I am the one who gets it out every morning, I knew he hadn't and had him take it.

If you were a bad mom, you would not be so upset about this!

((hugs))

Anne

You are not bad mom and it will be OK. I have a couple of those 7 day pill thingies you mentioned getting. One for morning and one for after school and bed. It makes it easier for my daughter to take ownership of her meds and for me to check up on them each day. I refill them on Sundays each week.

You are not a bad mom!!!  Don't beat yourself up over this, after all, he is ok and that is all that really matters.

Now you know that he may not be ready to be responsible for his own meds yet, and you can step in and help him until he is ready.

Thank you all for your kind comments.  I did stop and get him a 7 day pill organizer with an locking mechanism last night.  When I told him why he felt so bad and kept falling asleep he kinda freaked.  He thought the pill organiser was a good idea because he NEVER wanted to feel that way again.  I skipped the night pills and he wanted to go to bed early - understandable!  So he was out at 7:30 last night.  He is much better this morning.  Sonya, I wish I new witch one made him more focused and work harder to. He takes Wellbutrin er, Strattera, Risperdal, and Guanfacine every morning. 

I hope everyone had a great day and an awesome weekend!  Thanks again!

You are not a bad mom, I take meds for a heart condition, and I have taken it twice before... just not thinking.. I did know it within an hour.. Like your son I never wanted to feel that way again.. I think it was a learning experience for him... No one was hurt.. the pill boxes are great...    Nope, you're a good mom. You're encouraging your son to be responsible.  My hubby is diabetic and has been doing his own injections (4 times a day) since he was 7. Sometimes even now he'll forget if he's taken it (and if a diabetic does his insulin injection twice it's not pretty). But they have to be taught to be responsible for themselves and I think you're doing a great job.You are not a bad mom, hesmypj!  Here's my story on medication.  My 13 yr old thought he did better without his Concerta.  I'd ask him if he took it and he said yes.  I decided to count the pills after he got in trouble.  He was LYING to me.  The psychiatrist told me to never trust an ADHD kid to take his meds properly.  Now, either I or my Hubby watch him take his pill every morning.  He's learned how to 'palm them' too.  So we have to look in his mouth to make sure he swallowed.  I wanna know which pill it is that's gotten him so focused and working harder than usual!?

  the pill organizer is a good idea...meds are in our near future.  i so hope that my dd will take them without any hassles:)

shelley

ITS  HAPPENS YOU ARE NOT A BADD MOTHER...YOUR  A GOOD MOTHER FOR  HELPING AND CARING FOR  YOUR  SON...YOUR  ONLY HUMAN WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES! You're a good mom!  I'm a bad mom!  We had just changed from 1 30mg to 2 20mg ritalin, to a day.  Both bottles were on the table.  Not thinking, I gave ds 2 30mg ritalins.  After we freaked and ran around in circles, I got out the ipecack and gave it to ds to make him throw up.  He did and I kept him home from school that day.  Now I have one of those pill boxes with compartments for 7 days.  When a compartment is empty, I know he's taken his pills and he does too.

My philosophy:  No harm, no foul.

You are not a bad mother. He has  been taking his pills responsibly and you did question him when you caught him taking them after saying he had. 

I do think the pill organizer is a great idea whether you are overseeing him taking them or he is taking them on his own. Its easy to make a mistake or to get distracted so you can't be sure whether you did or didn't. This will make it clear on days like that.

You are doing great. Any mother who can get her ADHD child to the point where can be trusted to take his meds unprompted is a great mom in my opinion.

One morning,I was having a horrible time with my oldest.  He was REFUSING to take his pills.  I found myself getting sooo mad at him.  I knew I needed a "time out".  I set the pill down and went to the bathroom.  My two-year-old decided he wanted to take a pill like big brother.  We spent an hour in the ER watching for any bad reactions.  Talk about feeling like a bad mom.  I guess on the good side, the baby got hyper.  He was fine, though.

We have found the seven day pill organizers great for checking to see if you really did take your pills.  It is helpful for ds to check on himself, and for me to check w/o my asking aloud which can make him feel irresponsible/incapable.

He did once take a double dose on the morning of AP exams.  I ran him over to ER, he was fine and the lethargy which I expected from the double dose didn't occur...and the exam went great.

 

You are most certainly not a bad mother!  I would definately invest in a pill organizer so that way you will know if he really took it or not so there is no mix up.  Accept this as one of life's little learning experiences. 

((((((HUGS)))))))

Beckysmom39049.5154050926

How can bad mothers care so much??? the answer is they cant so that means we are not bad parents....YOU ARE A GREAT MOM....:-)

My dog did the same thing with the pill...talk about a jumpy dog...it was kind of funny after we called the vet to make sure he would okay...that poor animal ran around in circles forever.

no no no you are not a bad mum. I am also trying to teach my 9 yr old about his meds. I have one of those pill thingys to and they work great because he hates me going to school to make him take it. He is so good at it now that he makes me watch him take the meds and he also shows me under his tounge so I know he has had it.Daniel refused his adhd med we tried. when he refuses anything there is no way forceing him to do what he doesn't want to. this why I wish all things came in a method where it evaporates in the mouth.

CONGRATULATIONS on being a caring and concerned parent that has taken the time to help your child attain their best!  So, a slight hick up?  I remember a child I taught had a similar situation.  She was so hyper focused and wrote a 10 page memoir of her life and all the ups and downs of her condition then she just dropped and fell asleep - it was amazing -  a good sleep and she was fine!  The letter was amazing  -  she was 8 years old and considered to have learning difficulties!!!!!  So insightful.    Another friend of ours on high level of Ritalin gave her son 2 x dosage - he went to school and she discovered the problem and panicked - going up to the school she found that he was totally wired!!!!!!!!!  The best results of the semester!!!!!!!