Low self esteem | ADHD Information
My son is 9yrs old and has ADHD and ODD. I find it really heart breaking when he starts saying how much he hates his life, why did God give him this ADHD thing, why does nobody like him, why does everyone shout at him all the time and how he tries so hard to be good. I sometimes wonder if he really is suffering this badly or is it a way of getting attention. I know my instincts tell me he obviously needs reasurance that I'm there for him no matter what but on other occasions when he has been sent to his room he will shout down the stairs at me that I don't love him because he's a freak and I just want him out the way. I'm very mixed up as to wether these are his true feelings and a very low self esteem or just another symptom.Ed's Mum,
I was just thinking You will have to try to find the positive things about having Adhd. My son and I talk about this. My son is quick witted, mechanical (he loves to take things apart. Of coarse he has to put them back together) and smart. I grew up with Adhd and I always said I was not book smart( Math, English) but I am worldly( know alot about all different things) sorry I for going on. I wish you and your son the best of luck.
Tamara
Hello All,
I know for a fact I have an extremely low self esteem which is why I think it upsets me so much to hear Edward putting himself down. I have been working very hard at praising Edward and pointing out all the good in him and brushing off his negative comments with things like "well lets not worry about the red card Ed that's just a minor hiccup I'm so proud that you got a merit for your reading well done your the best" It seems to be working but at the same time I have seperated from my husband who was very critical of both myself and Edward so now Edward recieves my praise without it being conflicted by my husbands negative input. Your comments have helped me a great deal and this morning Ed and I disscussed going on the internet together to read about all the people with ADHD who have made something of themselves, he quite often tells me he would like to be famous and I reply honestly when I tell him he could be a comedian he has a great sence of humour. Thank you all for your advice keep it coming 
Our kids are special and wonderful! Keep on reassuring him and keep on loving him. As zenmommy said - it can be heartbreaking, but he can be successful and happy, with your help.
oh my Ed's mum, you sound like u have the same problem I have.A matter of fact it is my son it seems like. My son says the same things no one at school likes him, he wishes he wasn't around anymore a matter of fact he use to take knife to himself, which we are working threw that stuff, but I tell my son that he is not normal like the other kids but God made him special and the other kids have the problems not him...We also checked out the other famous people that were adhd "Albert Eistein" I know my son loved looking up his bio... on the puter so keep telling him he is special ..... I know he is 9 (i think u wrote) so is my son but try to give him a hug when he gets in that mood and for me it sometimes works... Good luck to u
I don't love him because he's a freak and I just want him out the way.
The suffering can be real
. His statements may reflect how he percieves the world, because being different and sticking out is difficult and how society punishes difference is to cast out and to isolate.
How we heal is important. Helping to find strengths and to capitalize on them may be one way to resolve these feelings. It may be difficult to find and discover these strengths. It may require a great deal of innovation and reimagination of the world. But your son is lucky, he has adhd and he may be able to dream these many possibilities when others are not able.
Unfortunately, the suffering may resurface under different circumstances. So knowing where your strengths come from (and that you have strengths) and to build on your talents will serve well in the future.
So, find something that is stimulating that leads to positive rewards. Knowing you can do something, doing it and then sharing it with others might be one way to rebuild self esteem. Hopefully if he is occupied in good endeavors, it may be a way to avoid what he may percieve as punishment (isolation). 
I agree with Dansmum
your child is special and normal kids are boring
,,,be enthusiastic about telling him that they are the ones with the problem..who's to say a person with adhd has the problem? or normal people have the problem? no one can judge we all have our faults unfortunately with adhd we are singled out.....After years of abuse from normal people i have become very bitter against normal people but i also appreciate the non judgemental ones...they are cool. but we're even cooler. tell your' child they are great constantly and they will know then that they are. adhd is a gift of great personality! we have our faults like everyone else....but our faults are highlighted as abnormal...well if im' abnormal in that case i'm proud.
Our psychologist told us tht low self esteem is the #1 problem with adhd kids. They are constantly being told to slow down, stop, move away, no, etc. Though we often try to do it in a more positive way, they still hear the reproach. It is so hard for us all, parent and child.
I tried to make it normal for my daughter. I have thyroid disease and take meds every day for that. So I told her she takes meds for her medical problem as I do. What REALLY helped was finding her an older ADHD buddy who she can see is doing well.I found a friend who has a 12 yr old with it and it helps my 7 year old , they hang out together ( being emotionally immature can have its advantages!) and my girl can see that this older girl is doing well, has friends, gets good grades- in other words is just like any other kid.
I know that might not be possible for everyone, but your son is special, as you know, and he can be happier. It takes some work, and is heart breaking at times, but well worth it.
Good luck
Allison
Hi Ed's Mum
I know where you're coming from. It was heartbreaking seeing my son so unhappy, thinking noone liked him and thought he was ugly. When he'd have time out he would say things to make me feel sooooo guilty and sad.
We have come a long way and things are going great. He occasionally lays the guilt trip on me when he's being reprimanded, like, "I always get the blame" or "you love my sister more than me" or everyone hates me". I have developed a thicker skin and now feel confidant that I am doing all I can for him and that I am a good parent (that is something I doubted alot!!). I firmly say that he knows that is not true and I love him very much, and I don't allow it to go further than that.
Just hang in there and keep looking for answers Ed's mum.
Never give up, never surrender!! 
from one UK Mum To another UK Mum
Never forget how clever and far sighted our ADHD little chaps can be, they see your emotions before you have had them!!
Tell him that he is very lucky to have such a special MUM!
Tell him that he hasn't got a "ADHD thing" it is the people around him that aren't quick enough!!!
Tell him about the famous people with ADHD and there are quite a few!! and how lucky he is to be apart of the ELITE!
Tell him you wouldn't change him for the world and that "normal" sucks and ADHD RULES!!!!!
I'm sure there his feeling to an extent. You just need to gauge how much is anger about being punished and how much he is really hurting.
For example look at the statement "nobody likes me". When does he say that and who exactly is nobody. From what I've seen "nobody" in kid speak could mean
- Nobody in the family (especially if they are being punished or fighting with siblings)
- No adults (could mean that he is getting yelled at alot or having a hard time in school)
- No kids (probably the hardest for children to deal with. When their peers don't accept them)
You can check some of this yourself by paying close attention to all the little details and clues kids drop when they aren't trying. Does he have friends that he plays with after school or on weekends? If not or if he is constantly changing friends because the buddy he had last weekend doesn't like him anymore then he's probably feeling very insecure and stressed. Same deal with an "evil" teacher who doesn't get him. If she is constantly mean to him then he is probably feeling bad about it.
Of course even the most well adjusted "normal" child will tell their parents that they hate them if they are being punished.