Report card day for Mac...1st since meds | ADHD Information

My sons birthday is Aug 10th, so I know how you feel. He was always the youngest in the class, I held him back this year, he is repeating the 1st grade and is almost the oldest in the class, or at least around the same age as most. He is OK with repeating....but he is a big kid and towers over everyone, I don't like that (he might though) LOL His main problems are with reading and math. But this year he is doing great in reading and better at math and I am glad I held him back. I was an August baby too, the 3rd......and I struggled every year at school, I wish I had been held back. School is laot more demanding these days, it's really sad, they expect so much of our young ones.....I am afraid it is going to cause more drop outs.

I got Michaels 2nd report card today and its not good. He doesnt know ANY of his letters or sounds, cant recognize any words, recite his address or phone #. It *said* he cant repeat his bday know left from right up down etc too but thats a load of crap ...he knows that stuff for a fact. The letters and sounds /words etc is true. He doesnt know them. Im so worried and feel like a HUGE failure. I dont have enough time for him after school because I work, and my parents dont either. Im afraid theyre going to hold him back a year...IN KINDERGARTEN! I may have to some how come up with $ for a tutor or something. I just dont know. His behavior in school is better since being on meds for the ADHD, but that seems to be all thast improved. What ever happened to kindy being for learning to tie ones shoes and just getting ready for "real school"? Ugh.

Well Ive talked to a couple of people tonight who told me that its not uncommon at all for boys, especial ones like my son who turn 5 right before the school year starts, to have to be helb back a year. Alot of the other kids are already 6 yrs old and he turned 5 on Aug 18th. Plus the ADHD im told makes them somewhat more immature than other kids. He is SOOOO smart though. And the conversations he can have! We were getting him dressed today and Matt Lauer on the Today show was in Jerusalem, and for whatever reason Michael wanted to know about it. Im not up to par on my religion so I couldnt tell him much im afraid, but he was SO interested. Then we got into a discussion about Jesus and why and how he died etc etc etc. I didnt think he would EVER let that one die lol. For five he can be very intellectual lol.  Im just SO worried about him, I want him to succeed! And another thing that really bugs me....if he is having this much truoble, WHY THE HELL did his damn teacher not let me know BEFORE now? Ive talked to her at leat twice since the last report card and him starting meds, and she said his behavior was better, but never mentioned his academics. WTH?

My adhd son was tested when the kindergarten school year started and they said he didn't know his alphabet, numbers and a couple other things. He knows them all too well, he recites them at home. He is just stubborn and doesn't want to recite them if he doesn't feel like it, so I know what you are going through. I am afraid that he will be held back too. He will be 6 in Dec so he is older then some of the kids and his brother who is 4 starts kindee next year, i don't want them to have to be in the same grade. Just frustrated!!!

Given that he has just turned 5, I don't think you should be overly concerned that he can't do letters and sounds just yet.    There is a very wide range of normal for this age group.  My dd was in k last year, and I volunteered in her room quite a bit.  There were lots of kids who were learning the alphabet in the class.  We have a top-rated school system by the way.  Just keep reading to him.  The more he is exposed to reading, the faster he will come along.

Having said that, I know that holding children back who have August birthdays is not uncommon at all.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  As someone above mentioned, if you repeat K, do it in another school.  But at this point, I think it is too early for you to make that decision.  You could also probably send him to summer school next summer to help him get ready for 1st grade.  Good Luck!

My dd who is 7yo now started started kindergarten right after she turned 5 on Aug 17 (she was also born 7 weeks early).  Her teachers made he same remarks as your sons did.  I knew that she new her adrees, phone#, birthday etc, she even knew quite a bit of the letter sounds & by sight, however she did struggle through K but we went ahead & sent her to 1st grade.  Again, it was a struggle.  She is now repeating the first grade.  I'm glad I made that choice, because now everything seems to be clicking with her.  Don't get me wrong, she has always been very smart too.  My daughter has no problems with the fact that she is repeating 1st grade.  We just explained it to her that she needed extra help with her reading & listening skills.  All in all it your choice, just remember that it's not a bad thing for them to repeat a grade, especially at such a young age.  Hang in there & good luck to you & your son.

hang in there!  kindergarten has changed a lot since we were kids.  my son, non adhd, we held back and it has been the best decision we made.  he would have been the youngest one in his class otherwise, and truly didn't have the maturity as some of the older kids would have had in his class.  now, he's one of the oldest in 1st grade and he's thriving...one of the 5 in the whole school who is pulled for challenge math...and in the top reading group in his class.  this truly would have not been the case if he was the youngest.  plus, your son's adhd adds another issue.  anyways...don't feel bad.  you're doing the best that you know how for your son. 

shelley  

Gutsy has some very good points and suggestions, macsmom.  the cutoff date for our school district is Aug 1st, so had you lived here, he would not have even made the cutoff to go to school with an Ag 18 birthday!

Chases bday is July 2nd, and the preschool teachers (he attended develepmontal preschool for speech issues) pushed hard for me to hold him back for what theycalled 'immaturity'.  I didn't want to because he was smart and for various reasons the child had been to 4 years of preschool.  Hindsight is 20/20 as they say, and I often think that I should have listened to them, because he still struggles a little each day with maturity issues though his grades have improved a lot.

If he has to attend kindergarten again next year in the same school for whatever reason, insist at least that he have another teacher, and make it clear from the beginning through an IEP or 504, that you are to be kept abreast of his progress at least weekly, so there will be no 'surprises' at grade time.  Maybe the next teacher will be a better fit for him and you.

Kindergarten is so stressful these days, I too remember when it was all snack, nap and playtime with the ABC's thrown in....that is preschool now.  The change came in somewhere between my girls going to Kinder and my boys....the girls had the way we remember, and the boys were learning how to read and do math in K!

Good luck, maybe you can get things turned around, you still have half the year...it may all click yet for him! 

Get in there and insist on that meeting to set up the IEP!

 

Your situation sounds very similar to what we went through with Andrew a few years ago.  He had to repeat his reception year.  Now I think that for us repeating the reception year was the right thing to do, but we should have had him do it at another school.  Is there perhaps a school there that Mac could do the K year again and then carry on with first grade, etc?  Our school was a Montessori creche which ends at reception year (the first year of schooling in South Africa).  If I could go back I would do that different with Andrew, I would have him do it again but in another school.  We have to do the same with Brandon, have him repeat reception year (he has been diagnosed with a syndrome and is developmentally delayed). I realised it would be a complete waste of time doing it again at the Montessori and have registered him at a special needs school that goes from recption to seventh grade.

You are lucky that you've got the diagnosis already. We're just going through getting it for Andrew now and he's finding it hard, so I think it really would be impossible to have him in Grade 2 going through the same thing.

I also know exactly how you feel, believe me you are NOT a failure, you are a good mom and are doing what's best for your son.

Sometimes you can feel like you're in a war with the school. Our school also had a way of making me feel terrible.  They have been making me feel like such a flop with my second son because of his "soiling" habit. First of all I've had NO support from them, and he's there most of the day, second of all lately he's been coming home crying because of what they say to him and third of all yesterday we had him at the doctor and it's not his fault at all (or mine)!!  I am so glad we are going to be rid of the school next year, and to me yours sounds similar. They also didn't let me know before about Andrew, it was like Whammy!! This year I've had regular meetings with his teacher and know exactly what's going on. I insisted on the same with Brandon's teacher too.

I would have also considered home schooling or getting a tutor if I could afford it.  I think they can benefit from the extra input.  In the meantime though I've pretty much worked through the first grade curriculum with Andrew in the afternoons / evenings this year (I work from home) and will actively "do" second grade with him next year, and reception year with Brandon.  Insist on weekly reports from his teacher next year so that you can keep regular tabs on how he is doing.  Also I believe you guys are lucky enough to have IEPs over there - I would look into getting one of these for him if he doesn't have one already.

Anyway just thought I'd let you know what worked for us, let you know you're not alone. Hope this helps!

Your son and I have the same birthday! 

I wouldn't worry about holding him back.  Both my parents and all three of us kids repeated either kindergarten or 1st grade.  I hate to think how I would have struggled if they had pushed me on.

And as everyone else has said- it's changed a lot.  When I spoke to my dd's kindergarten teacher at the beginning of the year she told me she started out  teaching 1st grade 9 years ago, and then moved up to 2nd and 3rd.  This is her first year teaching kindergarten but the curricullum is the same that she taught in 1st grade when she started teaching. 

I work in a public school district.  I have heard several of the Kindergarten teacher's say that 90% of their students who are struggling or doing poorly, are summer birthday boys.  Those with Birthdays July - Sept.  Our cut off date is Sept. 30th.  Now when you also throw ADHD into that mix.......

So anyway, don't feel bad if he isn't the top student in the class.  It's truly not a reflection of his intelligence, just his youthfulness!

The others are right though.  It is early in the school year and he may advance & mature tremendously between now & May.

I certainly understand your time constraints as far as working in the evenings, thus not being able to work with him on academics, but you would REALLY be surprised how much just 5 or 10 minutes a night would help!  If you can't do that, try 4 or 5 short ten minutes sessions over the weekend.  Also, there's some REALLY great toys out there that are fun, yet educational.  Most of the Leap Frog products are great.  My daughter had something called the LeapFrog Phonics Writing Desk....OMG, that thing was awesome!  She learned letters, letter sounds, letter formation, spelling 3 letter words.  It kept her attention forever it seemed!

Best of luck!

MamaBear39032.9394097222I know all about that. My son turned 5 on Aug 14 and against my husband's will, I started him in kindergarten. He's very smart and has no problems academically but he's in 1st grade now and still the top reader in his class, BUT, he's very immature and just diagnosed with ADHD. Our Dr. says that in actuality, he's one year behind the other boys and two years behind the girls. I wish I had done what my husband wanted to do and held him back a year. Oh well, sometimes husbands ARE right.