I had my son's teacher tell me she was sure he was ADHD, he had all the symptoms and was very wearing on her. He took a lot of the aid's attention just to keep him reasonably attentive and not distracting the rest of the class.She also said he would be sitting in class and start crying for no reason.
When she filled out the behavior forms, she made him seem like a sweet, slightly distracted child but not terribly so. She also said he was never depressed. I don't know how crying for no reason on a regular basis translates into anything but a symptom of depression, but she claimed he was always happy.
If you have notes the teachers have sent detailing any of the behavior issues or stating what a joy he is, take them to the psych right along with the forms they filled out. Let him know that what they are saying on the forms is different from your continual feedback from them.
I think teachers can skew things any way they want to. If they are pressured by the school to not admit that a child has issues severe enough to require an IEP, thats the way the forms will be made out. If they want a class with as many kids on meds as possible, hoping they will be easier to manage, thats what their forms will reflect.
Its so important to keep every piece of paper they send home with a personal message and good cross section of your child's school work so you can verify anything you need to in the future.
I just cant figure out why my kids school has such a hard time filling out reasonable behavioral assessments. I just gave my sons (3yrs, impulsive, hyper) teacher a quick and dirty ADHD assessment. Asked her explicitly in writing to answer it independently. So she takes it to the VP and he tells her that all three teachers must fill it out together. Every time these teachers collaborate on these forms, the absolute worst version of my child emerges. They mark the highest rating for nearly every symptom, mark that he never follows the rules or gets along with his peers, and that he is only occasionally happy. Huh??? I get daily reports from these teachers and on nearly every one they mark that he is "happy" and "talkative", on many forms he is "sharing" and a "good helper" etc. There is a place to mark that says having trouble getting along with friends that they have never marked. So what gives????? Have they been lying to me all this time? Granted he has trouble sitting in circle (at least half of the days) and can be very aggressive with his friends, and gets in trouble for his impulsive behavior, but where is the proper prospective with the screening forms??
This same thing happened with my daughter and her screening forms. They painted her to be a psychotic, autistic, depressed anxious ADHDer with conduct disorder. They answered 75% of behaviors as positive on the child behavior checklist which means she has every childhood disorder known. She is currently a well treated thriving ADHDer and nothing more. But I bet if i gave them another form to fill out on her it would come up the same way. I am so tired of even trying with this school (Private prescheool/elementary).
So my question is has anybody else had an experience like this from the schools and how did you handle it?
I have a somewhat simliar experience. Well, I guess not so much simlilar, but... When my son turned four years old I took him to see a psychiatrist. She told me there wasn't anything they could do for him - just going on my word. They would need documentation - assessment forms filled out by his school teachers in order to make their final diagnosis. So I took the forms to his daycare/preschool and I will have you know they didn't mark a single thing negative about him - This after they complained to me nearly everyday about his behaviour one way or another. When I read the forms after they filled them out I was soooo angry. How could they just pretend he didn't have a single problem there? I guess they were afraid I would take my money elsewhere. Anyway - Long story short - This daycare ended up kicking my son out of daycare.
But, when I went back the see the doctor she said it really didn't seem to her that he had any abnormal problems. I burst into tears in her office and I said, "Look, I'm not leaving here until something is done. You people have no idea what it is like to live with this child. It is hell! And I've sat back and listened to everyone berate me for my parenting, berate my child's behavior for years and we are doing our best, but it is apparent our best isn't enough! And I'm here asking for help and I'm not leaving until I get it!"
She picked up her prescription pad and said,"Here's what we're going to do..."
The point in my story was to share that most parents know their child much better than anyone else ever could, including doctors and teachers! Everyone is going to have a different perception about you and your child. Who knows what the teachers motives are for making your child out to be far worse than she is. Maybe they are afraid if they say she's doing too good, you'll take her off her meds. It's amazing to me how pro meds these teachers are, yet how hard it is to actually get a doctor to prescribe them and/or parents to understand that there child just might need them to function, etc. I know it's a tough road and I'm so sorry you are having such a bad school year.
My issue with my childs teacher is that anytime he is bad she writes out in this bright red marker how Terrible he was, but when he's good she never mentions just how good he was. I'm just so tired of everyone being so negative towards my child. When he's good nobody cares.
LonerGirl39034.5860300926Don't give up!You could try talking to the teachers, or at least the main teacher. Ask her why the form is so much worse than the feedback you are getting. Its possible they dwell on the positive as much as possible so you will praise the good behavior to reinforce that is what gets the attention.
Some schools are bad and you need to keep the paper trail in case you ever need it, but there are also good schools out there and most teachers are very caring and want the best for their students even when they don't do everything right.
Remember that when you deal with anyone from the school you need to be very calm and reasonable no matter how angry you are. You win more flies with honey and its the same way with school battles. Don't let them walk all over you but keep the iron hand in that velvet glove.
Thanks for your guys' input. I am wondering if it is a school policy to make these forms as negative as possible. The way that they have rated my kids is just outrageous. At least the psych knows that forms from the school are unreliable. He even called the principal and listened to her try to defend how they fill out my daughters forms. He just scratches his head at that.
I tried to give a form to one of my sons teachers from last year, and she brought it right to the office to talk to the VP (must be another school). I cant seem to get around the administration to get an honest report from a teacher. I tried to give my case to the VP that I want the teachers to fill these forms out individually without collaboration with the office or eachother but he was very resistant. I said my piece about how I have been getting very extreem responses that dont mesh with reality. He didnt have much to say. We shall see how this next set of forms goes...
I had to fight for over a year with my sons school to test him.....after i had him tested and RXed.....i think in my case once they relized i wasnt going away they would work with me...sometimes the in your face everyday...reminding them of the laws that protect our children works...i use to walk around my son school...reciting according to the laws.....blah blah