new here- inattentive ADHD? | ADHD Information
or am i way too early to be thinking about this? my son is 4 1/2 and truly seems to have a wayyyy harder time than most kids his age focusing and paying attention. he is not at all hyperactive or impulsive but is very fidgety- he has been developing some annoying habits like pushing his feet out of his shoes, etc. he is slow to respond and is disorganized- forgetful, etc. He'll look around the room, taking things in, (he says he's seeing which kids are being good or bad, etc he'll give some excuse for why he isnt looking at /listening to the teacher) He is terrible at making eye contact with a teacher- and often appears to be totally inattentive when in fact he IS absorbing what is going on. He shies away from tasks that require a lot of mental effort-- UNLESS you really bribe him like with candy LOL (no dont worry i dont do this a lot!! ) then he's like a different child. in sum he's hard to motivate but with the right incentive will perform at a good level. he's already reading simple books and is ahead in many ways. but socially and in a group setting the inattentiveness/dreaminess is concering especially since he is NOT hyperactive at all.
i am really concerned about school next year. i have had many people comment to me about how he's a 'different child' in small groups, which i have found to be true. i am considering private school now for this reason. the classes for the lower grades are a max of 16 and they all have 2 teachers per classroom at this particular school. i feel he would do better with the attention and smaller class but also worry that if he DOES have ADD will he struggle to meet their reigrous academic standards? or will the reverse happen and he will rise to the challenge in a smaller calmer more structured environment?
do any of you have experience with this sort of behavior at pre-school age leading to a later diagnosis of ADHD or something else? i should also note that his social skills are not great. he play s totally normally with kids he knows well one-on-one but get him in a busy group and he seems to have a harder time and he stays to himself.
any input would be GREATLY appreciated.
C.T. in Ct.
I think that your choice to enroll him in a private school with smaller class sizes is a good one at this point. It may be all that he needs at least in the younger grades.
I also think that a 'wait and see' approach would be wise. Keep all of the things that you've noticed in mind, and if and when these things begin to affect him in a negative way on a daily basis, then you can seek out further testing, etc.
Your son is lucky that you have observed these things and are taking steps to aid him in a successful school career....I did not see these things in my son and he struggled until 4th grade.
Good luck to you and your son!
I have to agree with chasemom... watch him closely and see how he does in a small class setting. If he continues to have problems then look at testing etc. One thing we tried prior to testing and still continue to do is play therapy. This has been a tremendous part of my son's life. He is doing quite well. I'd recommend trying something like this if he is having difficulty in social settings.
On the side I'm a public school teacher and chose to find help for my son (4 1/2) early in order to help ward off potential problems later in school as I see way too many children that could of used help either by medicine or counseling etc. You would be surprised at the amount of parents that are in denial. You are obviously not one of those parents as you are on the road to helping your son. You seem to be researching your options. 
I've not always been a medicine advocate however since making the decision to use a low dosage with my son in conjunction with a low carb high protein diet I've seen my son grow so much over the last year. For some kids this is what is needed. For my son this route was necessary. I see smiles on his face now and I can tell he feels better about himself. It shows in his everyday decisions and actions.
Good luck...
I think the "wait and see" isn't a bad idea as long as you don't ignore it, and don't ignore your gut. I've had that instinct for years that "something" wasn't quite right. I read a book about sensory issues (the out of sync child) and tried to get some answers a few years ago on that, but hit dead ends. I think what I wish I would have done is documented more, saved teachers comments from progress reports, etc. Just write down your observations every couple months in a notebook - both the good and the bad, rather than just focusing on the negative. If you have a conversation with a teacher or someone, write down what they said. If nothing comes of this, and he "outgrows" it, you'll be able to see your progress better. But it if does come to needing to get him tested, your documentation will be valuable.
I'd go for the school with small classes if you can. Sounds like he may learn better that way. If he struggles with the rigorous standards, it may lead you to an evaluation sooner, and if it results in a diagnosis, he'll get help sooner. If it becomes a problem, you can always switch later.
In my opinion, Knowledge is Power. Of course waiting and seeing might be an option, but during that time you should investigate as much as possible. Read, ask questions, find people in similar situations. My son is 6 and was diagnosed ADHD last month. Today is his first day on Meds. I have been very proactive in his medical care. At age 2 we knew that he was "different". He was so active and somedays I wondered how I survived that time. We had a speech therapist come to our house because he was not talking, he then went to preschool for 3 years and received services because he qualified for OT, speech and special ed. Now he is in Kindergarten. You learn by trial and error also. During the first weeks of school he took the bus...I learned that he was getting in trouble on the bus, so now I drive him to school and pick him up. As a parent you are constantly trying to figure out what works . We are learning to work with him and his behaviors and it makes our whole family run smoother. Good Luck to you!!
meandmyboyz197739035.5034606481My daughter is 11 now, and I knew that there was something wrong from the time she was about 4. It was impossible to get her to do the basics. She would just look at me with a blank expresssion. There were small challenges teaching her to to read, but no real problems at school until grade 2. (although I was exasperated at home) Something simple, like a request to "go get your hair brush" took an incredible amont of time. We started having problems in grade 2, they progressed into grade 3. We set up a special book for her at school, we devided it into 4 sections, if she was able to stay on task before recess, the teacher wrote a happy face in that section, and again for each of the other three blocks of time during the day. By the time I accepted that this might be more than behavior, and took the book to the doctor, he had a history of information dating back six months. He knew immediately. We scheduled her for all of the tests to confirm that she was ADHD Inattentive.
She's a good girl, and wants to please us, but the constant frustration from her parents and teachers results in a lot of negative feedback. I choose to medicate her not because of her marks on the report card - which were all over the map, but because of the amount of constant negative she was getting from all of the adults in her life. As we've struggled, and continue to struggle to find the right medication, I can see a huge difference in her when the medication is working. There's definite attitude from her when she's not on medication. It's not easy, and I'm still trying to find more positive ways of parenting her - I'm so afraid that the nagging over "please put you shoes on" is damaging her self confidence, but at least the medication has allowed her to concentrate at school, and given her the ability to achieve good marks. Her goal is to be a scientist.
My feelings are that the sooner you know what you have to deal with, the better. The ADHD/Inattentive creeps into every area of her life, and knowing that it's a real legitiamate problem has stopped me from pushing too hard with things that don't matter, and made me focus where it does matter. A messy bedroom, or a trail a mile wide behind her is no big deal. It takes me a min of an hour to do homework with her at night becuase the medications are wearing off at that time of the day. At least I know what the problem is, and can plan our time to deal with it.