I was wondering if there are any other ADD parents on this board who are sufferring from similar feelings:
I am the father of 4 kids, all under the age of 10, and have been married to my wife for 15 years. I work at a small comapany close to home, and do not have to travel for work. I am there when the kids leave for school, and I get home almost every night by 5:30 PM.
But - I dread it. I usually walk into chaos. My wife, who is a stay at home Mom, is tired and ready for a break. The younger kids are usually crying and it is a race for the next three hours to make/have dinner, get the kids washed and ready for bed, help with homework, deal with issues, etc.
I take meds for the ADD, including a booster in the afternoon so they will be effective until 9PM or so. But to be honest, I get completely overwhelmed and then end up feeling inadequate/ guilty etc.
I do not beleive in physical punishment, and I try to keep a cool head, but I end up irritable, resentful and grumpy. I have an open and honest realtionsheip with my wife and I've told her my feelings, and she's told me hers, but it seems as if everything just comes unglued.
Thanks in advance for any thoughts, help, advice.
4 kids under 10? I would be feeling inadequate also!!!
I feel guilty and inadequate as a parent all the time. My 2 girls are great, but I act like an ass in front of them sometimes and they have to see it when I am hyper and wound around the axle. I have never taken anything out on them and love them with my heart and sould, but they have seen me act like an ass to other people.
I would find some help books that help to get organized or something, have the kids work as a team adn take ownership in helping around the house. Seems like organization would be a huge neccesity in your situation. Good luck!!!
Don't feel too bad, evenings are crazy for everyone- everyone is hungry and tired.
To possibly make things go a little more smoothly with the kids check out the Marble System thread at the top og the parents section on this board. It's a positive reinforcement system that is simple and works really well with kids, with or without ADHD. Being rewarded may help them take more responsibility for themselves and behave better, which means less stress for you and your wife.
[QUOTE=LilBoPeeo]I was wondering if there are any other ADD parents on this board who are sufferring from similar feelings:
I am the father of 4 kids, all under the age of 10, and have been married to my wife for 15 years. I work at a small comapany close to home, and do not have to travel for work. I am there when the kids leave for school, and I get home almost every night by 5:30 PM.
But - I dread it. I usually walk into chaos. My wife, who is a stay at home Mom, is tired and ready for a break. The younger kids are usually crying and it is a race for the next three hours to make/have dinner, get the kids washed and ready for bed, help with homework, deal with issues, etc.
I take meds for the ADD, including a booster in the afternoon so they will be effective until 9PM or so. But to be honest, I get completely overwhelmed and then end up feeling inadequate/ guilty etc.
I do not beleive in physical punishment, and I try to keep a cool head, but I end up irritable, resentful and grumpy. I have an open and honest realtionsheip with my wife and I've told her my feelings, and she's told me hers, but it seems as if everything just comes unglued.
Thanks in advance for any thoughts, help, advice.
[/QUOTE]
My husband gets that way too. And he is not ADD. So it's very normal to feel that way. Just know that they will grow up one day and then you will have more time to relax. Until then, maybe taking a nice walk or a little exercize can help with the problem.
Mia
I only have one child- and often feel overwhelmed, I can't imagine 4. You know the good thing about kids is they Love You Anyway. If you are having some irritation, anxiety, anger type issues you might try Cymbalta it has REALLY helped me get my short temper under control. Don't be too hard on yourself and try to accept who and how you are--Maybe drop some of your high expectations and the "shoulds" out of your life and just BE. The fact that you posted shows you care and want to be a great dad--My guess is you already are, let go and enjoy your life as you are---not what you or others think you "should" be.
Good news is, they grow up!
I have 4 kids, all add, adD, aDd, Add, aDD, AdD, ADd, ADD, adhd, aDhd, adHd, adhD, Adhd, ADhd, AdHd, AdhD, ADHd, AdHD, or ADHD (did I miss any?) or some variation or combination thereof.
And they grow up, leave home, get married, and beget little ADHders of their own!
So hang in there, I've got two gone, two to go.
Yeah, I feel your pain, I also deal with four kids, and my wife works 2nd shift, its just us in the eve. 1 of my kids has ADHD and the other has plain ol ADD. I have ADHD, and the three of us are on the same meds. It is a constant struggle, my daughter, (ADHD) has severe impulse control issues, and after her meds wear off in the eve, she is like a crazy person! Mean to the other kids, disrespectful towards my wife and I, and now that she is nearly 13, Iam just waiting for the hormones to kick in, MY GOD, that should be a joy! I also feel woefully incompetent and deal with alot of guilt. Irritability is the rule of the day. I usually end up getting so overwhelmed that I just shut down, and go to sleep for a couple hours, and this is only 2 hours after taking my afternoon booster, which is a 20Mg Adderral XR! So, yeah, your not alone! I have recently started really digging into researching, and looking for support groups, hence my very first post here! I hope to make some connections here soon! If I find something useful, ill be sure to post it ASAP!