Feel like crying | ADHD Information

I have had a particular rough 2 weeks with my son at school.  Everyday it is something new and today was just horrible.  Everything he could do wrong he did.  My dh and I have been living with the possiblity that our beautiful son has ADHD for 2 years.  Last year, we went to several parent teacher conferences and were told to talk to his ped.  which we did.  She told us that 5 year old boys were not as mature as girls to give it a year and it should be better and along with that she suggested that I consider home schooling him. We also had him tested at Learning RX and the findings showed that he was incredilbly intelligent that of a young 7 year old but the impluse control of a young 5 year old. This year for the first two months we thought everything was ok.  A few bad days but nothing too major, but in the last 3 weeks he has gotten in trouble everyday.  He can't remember what he has done to get in trouble, his school-work in not being done properly even though a month ago it was done correctly, he has lost in Math assignment book today, on and on.

And then today,  I just had enough of the craziness and told my husband that we needed to get him tested.  I just can't deal with it anymore.  I have started getting a short temper around him.  I keep beating myself up wondering what I did to cause this and then on the other hand I wonder if he will just snap out of it.  I know he won't and he needs help.  Reality has finally stepped in.  I am just so scared about what is the right thing to do.  I know I am going to speak to his new Ped. on Monday about ADHD.  I have researched everything from CHADD, testing, what the symptoms are, local support groups, local specialist, etc.  My head is spinning.  Does anyone out there feel the same way or is it just me? 

JB

First of all, some (((((hugs))))) for you!! I know I've been there and felt the same way...without a diagnosis, I was constantly researching online and my head was spinning as well. It's a rough road but I'm glad I found this place as I've recieved a lot of information and advise. I am still fairly new here and to ADHD (my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD a couple weeks ago and now possibly ODD) so my head is still spinning but not as much! Feel free to ask as many questions as you can think of, both here and to your sons pediatrician! Good luck! Thank you so much. Get a referral from you ped to a neuro-psychologist.  He/she will do a battery of tests (my ds's went 6 hours) to dx ADHD and any other co-existing learning disorder.  This is important, because ADHD often occurs with co-morbid disorders like ODD, dysgraphia, dyslexia, etc.  You've got to treat all the problems, not just one. 

Getting a dx is the first step.  We put it off for two years and after I had the dx I had some idea of where to start and what to do.  You may choose to medicate or you may want to try alternative therapies.  Check both the ADHD meds board and the alternatives board.  Educate yourself on both before you talk to a doctor about what therapies to use.  Meds are not intrinsically evil, but they are not a panacea, either.  Alternatives work for some, not for others.  My son is on Daytrana, which is a ritalin patch.  This means that he doesn't have to take a pill and that the release of the med is even.  We've had good results with it.

Once you have a dx in hand, you can go to the school and ask them to implement and IEP (Individualized Learning Plan) that has accomodations to help your son like extended test times, testing in a separate setting and time with a special ed teacher.  If behavior is the problem, they can implement a behavior plan.  You have to have a dx first in order to get an IEP.  The category your son would be in is OHI or Other Health Impaired.

Also go to the ADHD issues in school board.  You'll find loads of help there as well.  Always keep in the back of your mind, especially when things get tough, that you are not a bad mom!  Only a good mom cares as deeply as you do.  Many, many hugs!

Hi. Honey, you are not alone. There has been many many nights where I have cried myself to sleep. My son has had problems since the day he was born. I worry more about him than I worry about the my two daughters combined. He's my baby. I believe you said that you are seeing a new ped. If they won't or can't help, honey insist that they send you to someone who can. A Developmental/Behaviorial Ped is a good start. They can help you with any developmental or behavioral issues.

The one thing you need to remember is that THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You did nothing to cause this. I can't stress how important it is for you to know that. and keep reading. There are so many things that you can do to help your son. And there are so many people here that are willing to talk anytime you need a friend. Please don't hesitate if you need someone to talk to and don't be afraid to ask questions. We are all here to help each other. Please let us know how things turn out.

A few months ago I got an inkling to read about ADHD, "just to see" if some of my dd's symptoms could be ADHD, and had a rude awakening that she had been showing some very common symptoms for years - I just didn't know these were typical symptoms of ADHD and no else recognized it.  I spent hours finding everything I could online, and checked out most of the books available at the library.  I can relate!  Once we had our initial evaluation meeting, and heard from the nurse practitioner who took all the intake information, that she sounded like she really leaned towards having ADHD, I calmed down.  I felt sad, that she might actually have something she will have to battle all her life, but also relieved that we're not crazy, we're not bad parents, she's not a "bad kid" etc.  Right now we're in another waiting game - the second half of the appointment is not until December.  Too long to wait!!!   Hang in there - explore all the boards on this site.  I think there is something for everyone, and I've found them all SO helpful going through this. 

Your son could be ADHD, but a gifted (high IQ) child can be easily misdiagnosed as ADHD. Their behavior due to boredom is very similar to the symptoms of ADHD. Its also possible that he is both.

I agree with susieb. A good neuropsych or at least a child psych who specializes in neurological disorders would be best to diagnose your son. You don't want to take any chance that he will be treated for ADHD until you are certain that is what you are dealing with. A ped is not qualified to determine the difference in most cases. He won't have the time to spend with your son that is necessary to discern the difference.

Hang in there. Its hard but its so worth it in the end. Your son has what it takes to really succeed in the world once you know what you are dealing with and can take the necessary steps to enable him to be his best.

 

Thank you all so much.  I truly needed all your support.

No parent wants to put their child on medicine! So we fight it and we look for other things to be wrong (like immaturity), but as MOMS we know deep down when something really needs to change.  It sounds like you are there now. 

Take a DEEP BREATH and just one day at a time.  That was the hardest thing for me to do, but that is all you can do.  Follow you Gutt as much as your Heart! These forums are soooo helpfull, the people are great! Good Luck to you....your on the right path.

Just know that we all feel the way you do at one time or another .... your definately not alone and your really not going crazy -although it may feel like it

susie mentioned getting a referral to a neuro-psych, while this is a great option,  he/she is not the only person who can diagnosis ADHD and in many cases ( ours) the neuro-psych is NOT covered by insurance. ( this cost us close to 1400 dollars).  Other people who also do a good job with initial diagnosis inclued  neurologist, psychiatrist and developmental ped,  If money is not an option than the neuro -psych is the best

My son was 5 when we had him test because he had a hard year...before that!!!!

GREAT BIG HUGS TO YOU......I am still hoping that there is a light at the end of the tunnel....and that the sun will come out soon :-)  crying screaming.....laughing does help it lets it out....no one understands what we go through and whne u bring your child to school and everyone is frazzeled they dotn know that you might have fought with your child for 3 hours to put shoes on...:-)  I agree with the last post everyday is a struggle and all we can hope is that tomorrow will be better...and that this too shall pass...

Go ahead and cry and scream and anything else to release the stress. 

I like to get in my car and drive!!!!!  Then when I'm out of the suburbs and in the country, I have a great big scream!  We all do it!!!! Having a child with ADHD is like a never ending grieving.  I get so angry at times and I feel so sorry for myself.  I get so jealous of my family -  none of them understand our isssues and their lives seem so easy in comparison.  I have a good cry and then something positive happens.  We just give so much and then we are empty.  There is always someone worse off and that brings me back to reality. Our children are doing it on purpose and they are feeling rejected, confused and sad as well.  Every day is a battle.  Somedays we get through it better than others.  Have a cry, let it all out.  There are many on this board who do the same thing. 

Hope you see some sunshine soon