Advice on family | ADHD Information

You are correct I do have a low self esteem at times and it is hard approaching the family.  As for short visits that is hard to with my hyper excited child, with my child leaving early is hard and if you can nail her down.  She is oblivious to most of what goes on.  I guess I have to for awhile avoid as much as possible with every excuse known to man then one day will have to say the truth and see what happens.  I am an adult with my own life to live so to speak.i agree, but i have to add this, i'd be very open about it after a while.  if the visits being short still end up like that, i'd speak up and say why you are limiting you time with them and leave out all emotion.  Be very frank.  Say, this is too much verbal abuse to expose my family too and I am not going to subject my life and family to it.  Thank you for being here, but I'm not about to perpetuate the cycle to my daughter.  I love you all, see you later.  Smile and leave.  Trust me, people don't think or talk about us as much as we think they do.  if so, the world would not function or survive day to day.  They will get the picture after the first few months of you declining visits or conversations and start to miss you and your family.  Then they will make an extra effort to TRY.  If not, it's their loss, not yours.  I would also rethink the study group you have your beautiful daughter in.  How much longer is that going to last?  She really needs to have a steady medication and not have to be part of a study.  I just really hate to see her being mixed up for some thing they are not too sure of.  That might be part of the problem with her not being as happy.  She is beautiful and she will shine like the brightest star in the ski when all of her meds are lined out!!!    Give her a big hug for me!!!Funny Ogram about the study she did have the groups mixed and she got the more intense behavior mod and I was up front with the person in charge and he asked me to give it 2 more weeks and that someone will go into the school and help the teachers and my child out I left torn.  I did speak to the teacher who believe it or not wants to give it a shot the two - three week thing said he is learning a lot from the University and wants to give it a go.  As for the defiance it has lessoned.  So now I am giving it a shot I guess if that is what the teacer wishes.  Her teachers this year are awsome they communicate weekly with me and do not call me for just bad they call for good stuff too and seem to really adore my child and want to help. 

My daughter with her ODD does not take responsibility for her actions and can annoy others well she annoyed her cousin who is 8 months older than her and he is a nasty brat.  I do take some responsibility for she did annoy and deny what she did however he has always been mean to my child and is holding a grudge.  He is trying to tattle on her to get her into trouble and when she says something only we listen (mom and dad).  He is abusive towards her mean and will do stuff when no one is looking and he convinces another cousin age 5 to ignore my child and treat her poorly.  I heard him say do not play with my child and openly say mean things and my sister will say something to him but he is still nasty.  At my childs birthday party he stayed in the hallway pouting and saying he was there because of my child who was only happy to see her family not fully understanding the brat.  This has carried on for 2 family functions now and I do not want to subject my child to this anymore she gets rejected enough and I  worry about self esteem.

My family always turns the other way this kids mother my sister she was horrible to me growing up and had physically abused me.  We started to get along after I moved out and married, I am the youngest and my brothers kiss her butt.  I was always the brat and was always accused of telling stories now it is continuing.  I love my family and do not know what to do for if I say something it will get turned around that I am nuts.  I hate the "kids will be kids" answer there is no excuse for rudeness.  Any ideas how to approach this situation without just pulling away avoiding all together?  Talking to my girl about staying away from the monster and staying by us does not work she gets excited to see family and wants to play with them so bad she does not listen and sometimes the hyperness takes over as well.  I am torn do I say something or just plain avoid and pull away? help

Awwww, as I was reading about you worrying about dd's self-esteem, I was wondering about YOUR self-esteem!  Maybe one way to deal with it is to keep the get-togethers short and sweet.  Make your exit while things are still good.  Your family probably is not going to change, so limit your exposure, but don't cut off relations entirely.....Too bad they are not supportive of you.