argumentative - what to do??? | ADHD Information
You all had some really great suggestions. I will definitely be looking into the rebound information, that sounds very interesting. I am so glad I found you all! I have already gone out and gotten marbles and some containers and we will be implementing that system today, we are hopeful that we will see some improvement in behavior and ability to listen the first time. I tell you, the dr's are wonderful and so is the medicine they can offer but it is places like here where the practical day to day survival tips are that you save your sanity, I thought I would go crazy a few days ago not having any support - thanks again, I'll be posting regularly!Aimee
I was in your shoes about a year ago and I also posted here for help....the most useful suggestion was to validate the child and say "interesting point but now do ...... " this validation seems to stop my future lawyer in his tracks and the argument typically stops...( I think momiss gave me this idea)Our son is the same way when he "crashes" off the meds in the evening. I think when he comes off the meds it's actually worse than he was before he started any meds. Anyway, I felt like I was absolutely losing my mind and knew that I couldn't fly off the bat at my son because it wasn't his fault. So, I pulled myself together and realized that I have to make things work no matter how hard it is for me--you know make things as simple as possible for my ds. Anyway, when he gets really fussy like you described I stop for a moment and try to think of anything that I can do to take his mind off of the current. I introduce him to random things like letting him help cook, get on the computer (something like www.starfall.com), letting him help was plastic dishes and so on. Anyway this seems to work well for us but of course it's different for everyone. I really hope it does help though!
Welcome Aimee,
You will find alot of help and support here. I know that I have.
It may be your son feeling not quite himself as the meds wear off and he goes back to the unmedicated state. This can be hard to get used to. Some people have rebound when the meds wear off, where they have symptoms worse than when unmedicated. If it does not ease after he has been on the med for a while, you can ask the doctor for a short acting form of the same med to ease the rebound (if you are seeing good results while the meds are on board). You can also look at other forms that might be easier leaving his system, like the Daytrana patch. Everyone is different and it can take some time to find the right med, dose and dosing schedule.
Also, please check out the marble system by ogram (top thread). It is a positive reinforcement behavior plan that work well for many of us.
Good luck on this journey.
Hi everyone,I have just found this board and am so thrilled. I have read through so many posts and finally feel like I am not alone, I sat here shaking my head, yes, yes, yes as I was reading and seeing that some many issues we are having others have experienced as well - I can see where this site will help me keep my sanity!
My 6 year old son is on Focalin for his adhd symptoms and was on Adderal before but had some undesirable side effects from that so we switched a few weeks ago to the Focalin. However on both medications he continues to be very argumentative when the medicine wears off, which is always way before bedtime! Has anyone else experienced this and is there anything to do? There is no reasoning with him when he starts in on something and it can be anything from why he has to wear a particular pair of shoes to how come he has to pick up his messy room - you never know what he is going to become irrational and argue about but there is a gaurantee that it will be something each night. I am starting to lose my patience and am looking for some tips if you have them.
I look forward to joining you all often. We just had our 4th baby and things here are absolutely crazy with a hubby with adhd, a son with adhd another suspected and two little ones.
Thanks for the support.
Aimee
That's good info on reboound Vickie. My sons are not medicated but I've learned a lot about rebound here. Mamaof4boys, browse through the posts on this site. There is a LOT of very valuable info about rebound.
Welcome to this site. It's a sanity saver of note, since I started here I don't feel the need to get antidepressants for myself anymore. And I can vouch for ogram's marble system. It's good.
It's also really helped me to understand my son better and that alone has led to way less arguments . A month ago I would have had major arguments with him tonight because his behaviour was terrible. But I've learned to understand him. I sat for a minute and thought "what could be causing him to do this?" He had a good day at school. But it's the school gala tomorrow and he's stressed big time about it. Bingo. So I was able to, instead of arguing, tell him that I understand he's nervous, but he's a brave boy and I know he can do it, it doesn't matter if he doesn't win, as long as he takes part, etc. The situation was better already.
I would also check out this part of the board on magnesium, omega 3 and Attentive Child/Focus have been working great for us on the fighting both physically and verbally.
http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_topics.asp?FID=16
Are you also on the Rad site on Delphi forums?
I'm curious about the "undesirable side effects" on adderall, as my 6 year old has been on it for one week. Anyway, he also is very tacky and argumentative after school till bedtime. His teachers don't know he started meds, but they say he's doing better in school. his problems are not with the work but behavior. But he just kinda seems mad after school.My son has always liked to argue over everything, and when I would try to explain why he had to do what I asked, it would turn into a big fit. We would both escalate and be frustrated and I'd be ready to kill him. I learned that walking away would work the best, or if I was starting to argue, I would catch myself and say I'm not argueing, and walk away. Picking my battles was really important, and giving choices helped the most. Its no fun for him to argue alone, but at 16 he still tries occasionally.
. I also used empathy when he complained or attempted to argue about a task, ie: I know honey I hate cleaning my room too. Good Luck
Welcome! Sounds like you have a busy house!
You have already gotten some good advice - I definitely believe in the marble system, we also use 1-2-3 Magic - works for my son when we are consistent.
I would also try to figure out exactly when he is having his rebound affects, and try to make his life as stress-free as possible for that short time - my nephew has adhd, and my sister has him just go someplace quiet during his argumentative time...seems to work for them. He doesn't get over irritated, and he doesn't pick arguements with them.
my son has been on Focalin XR for several weeks now and is doing very well 