I’m new here and need some advise!!! | ADHD Information

My son is 13 and in 7th grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD in 4th grade and has been on Concerta since his diagnosis.  Things have been going pretty well until this year in school.  I am constantly getting emails from his teachers saying that he is not focused, moving in his chair, disrupting other kid around him and basically not "into school" at all lately. He tells me that he can't help alot of this movement but it is causing him to not be able to focus in class, therefore his grades have really suffered this year.  He is frustrated and becoming very mouthy with me and his teachers telling me that he feels that his grades are so bad he can't do anything to help them.  Several of my friends tell me "Well, he is a teenager now.....all boys go through this, it will get better."  It kills me to see him struggling the way he is.  He has also had a huge growth spurt over this past summer,  growing at least 4 inches and probably putting on 5-8 pounds.  I'm wondering how you tell if this behavior is due to medication dose not being right OR his age/puberty and so on.  I have to tell him at least 20 times to get dressed for school in the morning, get out to the bus stop, get ready for dinner, get your pajamas on, brush your teeth.....it is a constant struggle and I feel like I'm losing my mind!  He is a bundle of energy,  bouncing from couches to chairs to whatever he can bounce on, roll on and aggravating his 2 younger sisters constantly.  He tells me that his friends at school tell him he is a "freak" and "hyper" which really bothers him.  We do have an IEP for him at school which helps him but he can't control movements....disrupting others.  We do have an appointment with his MD in early December to discuss this.  Many of his teachers are telling me they think he needs a med dose adjustment.....I don't know what to think.  He's becoming unbearable and we argue all the time which is making home life miserable for all of us!!  Help!!!  Is there anything I can do to help this sweet sweet boy who is obviously struggling right now??  Thank you for listening.....I love this board!!!  Bless you all and your stories,  many of which I have read.

It sounds like he is having a tough time and i would talk to your psychologist or doctor about what is going on for he may need something stronger.  When you said he knows about the grades dropping and cannot sit still he may feel hopeless.  Again I talk to the doctor or psychologist and keep your son involved.  I wish you the best JillI agree that it is time to take a look at the treatment and see if it needs adjustment. THe stress of teen years and middle school may be complecating things (the brain and therefor the meds do not function as well under stress). Good luck and I hope you can get it sorted out quickly.7th grade is a tough year, ADHD or not.  My now 14-year-old had a terrible year that year. We got through it, though, and things are so much better for him now. You'll probably have to adjust his dosage, and that will really help a lot, too. It's so hard to see them struggling, isn't it? Heartbreaking! But it will pass and he'll be doing a lot better soon.

Thanks for all the great advice everyone!  I agree that my son's body has changed (along with all the hormones that go along with being 13) so I am really looking forward to his doc appointment in a few weeks to discuss.  We had such a great weekend and he is SUCH a great kid.....he is just struggling so hard at school right now,  he feels pretty hopeless about his lower grades although he is getting 2 A's, a B, a C and 2 D's (which he is really upset about) but they are classes that take alot of concentration and hard work (math and science). I told him how much I love him and how I will never stop trying to help him and that we WILL get through this together....all of us as a family.....that seemed to really lift him up.  I will be on here alot reading all of your great advise for both myself and others.  Thanks again for listening!    

Robyn

I posted a while ago how my 7th was much better OFF meds.  I realize that's not the case for all kids but it's worth a try.  Before we took him off, we tried upping the dose cause his meds weren't working but for whatever reason his body changed so he's better off them.

And, yes, most 7th graders get mouthy....my son no exception. 

One more thing, work as much as you can on his self esteem when you are with him.  It's soooo fragile at this age.

Hello Jill sorry to hear of  your sons' and your families trouble. My heart goes out to all of you.    Our bodies change when we grow up get older or even have kids,  can you remember him when he was I the 4th grade of course you said that he was so sweet, right now he could also be testing his bounders with his new found addolessants(sp) or like you have said and alot of others maybe he might need a meds. adjustment or he is just changing his routen.  My son is only 4 and I have been down alot of the roads of his sisters being mean to him calling him a freak stupid dumb and all of the other names they could us for anything for not normal.  When I sat down and relized that my son was in depression that wasn't a fun time  but I just gave him a bigger huge a longer kiss and just told him that everything will be ok.. Well now my son picks on my daughters and he calls them names and now they know how it made him feel ( very sad and empty).   Well long story short it will all get better just please please please don't give up on him and don't lose your mind.. Your a wonderful mother and a person if not you would not of found out what you already have.. Stay strong and just remember we are all here for you when you need a hand or a shoulder to lean on. 

It sounds like he is going through puberty and from what mother's have told me, medication needs to be revisited. What used to work for the body, no longer does. It changes along with the body. Call the prescribing doctor and set up an appointment. It is such a shame to hear about him suffering with something he has no control over, it's his body changing.