-- Friends -- | ADHD Information

Hi all

Thanks so much for the replys ... I found them really interesting .. I thought it was only me that found the whole friend - thing difficult ..

As for me .. I know loads of people ( hopeless on names) but I have 1 good friend from school and 1 good friend from college I see them both about 3 times a year .. I have about 2 other good friends that I am in touch every few days or so.New friends think I am fun to begine with but soon get fed up of me making stupid mistakes and not remembering stuff...

Problems? thats why I put this up 1 of my good friends is really ****** me off .. as she is a good friend I tend to take a lot of **** Because I dont want to lose her friendship.. If I say something I then feel awfull and if I dont I still feel awfull. I dont have a problem doing this with work / other people , just friends !!

Going out ? Just my good friends as I can not cope in pubs of places where I have to interact etc but going to the pictures or Ikea is fine and can be good fun .. I did not do any as a kid ..

Most of my friends are female but I do get on well with males

  Moon6

having and keeping friends? I usually keep friends about 4 years and then pretty much trade them in for new ones. I've never had trouble finding friends though I just get bored or tired of people so I like to find new exciting people to hang out with. I was always the hyper crazy kid in the group so I was the type of kid other people wanted to hang out with.

Sorting out problems? I'm not big into drama or dealing with other peoples feelings. I don't really have emotions so when other people get really emotional it bothers me. Usually if someone gets mad at me or if I get pissed at them I just end the friendship. There are a ton of other people that want to be friends with me so I don't see the point of wasting time arguing or trying to make up. (I know that sounds conceited but it's just how things work in my world)   Any long term friends? Longest friendship ever maybe 5 or 6 years but even that was pretty much a formality where I would see them only every so often. I can't seem to keep interest for more then 4 years. A few have lingered past that point but it's mostly christmas cards or saying hi if I run into them somewhere.   Have many friends on not? Tons, but what I consider friends most would consider acquaintances I guess. If your defination of friends is someone you share your inner most secrets with then I have none and will never have any. I simple do not share that kind of information with people I don't care who they are. To me friends are people you enjoy hanging out with and that you get together with often to have a good time.   going out with friends? You mean dating friends. No I don't date friends. I have when I was younger but I don't date at all now. That kind of relationship requires way more time and dedication then I would ever give to another person. Plus relationships have way way more drama and emotion then a normal friendship. I don't put up with it from my friends and I sure wouldn't put up with it from a boyfriend.   If you are female do you have more male or female friends? I have many more male friends then female friends. Men are just easier to hang out with they still bring some drama but it is far less then the emotional baggage most women bring. I want to go out and have fun not talk about my feelings or cry about broken relationships. I don't give advice and I don't want to hear about all the drama in your life. For the most part when I hang out with guys they want the same thing just to go out and have fun.  MafiaKiddo38279.3300925926I have always had trouble making friends.  I can sometimes make a good friend in a new place, but it usually takes a few years.  I have 3 long-term friends (35 years, 25 years and 7 years) but they all live a very long way away, and we just communicate a couple of times a year by e-mail.  Other than them, no current friends, but a number of acquaintences.  Never go out with friends.  I am female and relate better with females.  I am also introverted and have trouble picking up signals in general.  -having and keeping friends? I do have trouble having and keeping friends.  Usually it seems that I am so preoccupied that I miss opportunities to make the friendship stronger (I miss birthdays, chances to go out etc)     -Sorting out problems? Very much so!   -Any long term friends? One that I have known since 1st grade, another that I have had for the last 6 years or so.   -Have many friends on not? I have lots of aquaintences, but close friends, I don't keep for more than a couple of years at most.   -going out with friends? Very rarely.   -If you are female do you have more male or female friends? Hmm, it is about 50/50 with me.   Essieloui mean intimacy as in getting close to someone on a personal
level. you think it wouldn't be that hard to have normal
conversations with people, but for some reason it is hard for
some people. i'm sorry you have this problem too Tagio. i'm not
alone.- having and keeping friends? Always had problems with this and have not got good friends except 1   -Sorting out problems? I am not interested in sorting out problems, I have my say, and abandon the relationships.  I have issues with always feeling like i am right, that does not go down too well.   -Any long term friends? 1 - my angel she has been my bestest friend since were 12.  But she is a bit different in her thinking too, therefore we forgive easily our indiscretions.   -Have many friends on not? 1 as above, but I have aquaintances and I am friendly towards those, but am not interested in being close.   -going out with friends? Never   -If you are female do you have more male or female friends? I communicate very well with Men and find them less judgemental, women find me intimidating, whereas Men find me refreshing and funny.  I do however miss cues if the men are attracted to me, and if I discover they are, I am shocked and did not realise, this has been very embarrassing in the past.  So now I am very cautious even making male friends, because I do not want to give mixed signals, because I am married happily.      - etc?the longest friend i had was for 6 years, but she stopped talking
to me because of my problems. i didn't know i had ADD at the
time, so i never got to clear things up with her. usually i get
along better with guys, which have made up the majorit of my
friends. i haven't had a female friend for a few years now, just
my sisters. i talk to some girls, but its really hard for me to relate
to people. i'm just in my on world, so nobody really understands
me, and i don't understand them. i think people believe that i
don't take anything seriously, so this bothers them, but i'm really
the opposite. i just don't take things like boys, clothing, image
and pleasing people seriously. there are more important things
to me. i try to force myself to get into what other people are
doing and pay attention to what they are about. i have a hard
time talking and holding steady conversations, so people don't
know what t think of me, even my family. right now i have no
friends of my own. i hung out with a couple girls the other day,
but i really felt alienated from them. they wanted to talk about
boys, i wanted to talk about the meaning of life. i hang out with
my sister occasionally, her friends really like me though. for
some reason i can control my behavior and make them laugh
and hold deep conversations. it easy for me to entertian, but its
hard for me to be intimate and casual, and for a long period of
time. i really fear every day that i will be alone for the rest of my
life.

i can sympathize with a lot of that pinkblobs :)

i was very introverted as a reaction to ADD through a lot of my childhood, but since i got to college i learned how to interact with people on a surface level pretty well. I can entertain people really easily, everyone thinks i'm funny and likes me for that in general.

but the whole intimacy/picking up signals from the opposite sex thing doesn't come easy, in part because i never got any practice cuz i was so introverted in middle/high school. That's definitely a source of frustration for me but it's just another skill to learn, and I'm doing ok :) Everyone else has a head start but I think i can catch up.

 

Hi ..

I was just wondering how other ADHDs get on with --- -having and keeping friends? -Sorting out problems? -Any long term friends? -Have many friends on not? -going out with friends? -If you are female do you have more male or female friends? - etc? Thanks Moon6