ADD.......LAZY?? | ADHD Information

Not lazy---Just ADD!!   I need to clean right now-- Write a 14 page paper due Tues, do anything but alas, I JUST DON'T WANT TO! So--I won't and when I do then I WILL! Maybe I have developed a poor attitude recently but I'm trying to get to a point of acceptance of MYSELF. So, I figure if something "should" be done or "must" be done then I would be doing it-- since I'm NOT then it must not be that frickin important!  Sorry--I'm just tired of others, parents etc.. expecting all this s**t from me and what I should be--I'm also tired of US Adder's constantly feeling lazy or stupid or whatever because we don't live up to other peoples standards--F**k them!! And thats my morning soapbox rant--Thank YOU!! It's not being lazy. Cleaning is hard for many people with ADD. Often times we get stuck and aren't able to begin.

[QUOTE=livingwithadd]It's not being lazy. Cleaning is hard for many people with ADD. Often times we get stuck and aren't able to begin.[/QUOTE]

 

Yes, I agree.

But sometimes, If I absolutely must clean (ie: someones coming to visit) then I can MAKE or FORCE myself to do it. Then once I get started I am okay. It's getting started that kills me. And the worse the house looks the harder it is to get started and the worse everything gets, and then I am left feeling like a loser to myself, to my kids, and to my husband.

My husband works all day long, just to come home and clean up the house (when I am the one that should be doing it). He doesn't complain much about it, I am lucky about that. But he doesn't discuss anything with me either, he just cleans it (then I feel guilty) and he doesn't say a word about it.

oh well. Hopefully medicine will fix this problem. I hate that I will have to take a pill to motivate me to clean. I am otherwise a very clean person. I love things to look perfect. But If I cannot make it perfect, then I just don't do any of it at all.

yes - cleaning is not a problem for me once i organize my mind to get started.  I have to go through a whole ritual and write a list and prioritize - i make sure it is not a long list and set aside a block of time to get it done. 

My kids also like a list that they can check tasks off on and we have fun doing it together and cutting up!!! I am lucky to have one of my kids that likes to organize - so she gets the kitchen cabinets and pantry every once a month.

find everyones strengths and go for it and break it down into bite size chunks.

I think when you don't give a damn & just don't feel like it, then you are probably lazy.
True lazy people don't give a hoot.

I think there is something about our brain that makes us tired.
And housework is very boring. Most people hate it but they like order & cleanliness like I do.
 I wish I had a housekeeper.
worldisround39040.6514583333[QUOTE=bharrod]

Yes, I agree.

But sometimes, If I absolutely must clean (ie: someones coming to visit) then I can MAKE or FORCE myself to do it. Then once I get started I am okay. [/QUOTE]

 

That's because the pressure stimulates your brain much like stimulant medication.

[QUOTE=worldisround] I think when you don't give a damn & just don't feel like it, then you are probably lazy.
True lazy people don't give a hoot.

I think there is something about our brain that makes us tired.
And housework is very boring. Most people hate it but they like order & cleanliness like I do.
 I wish I had a housekeeper.
[/QUOTE]

I too love cleanliness and order. If I could have a housekeeper I would be a very happy person. I truly believe that I would be much happier if I could keep my house clean and organized.

But a Doctor told me one time something that has always stuck with me. I went to the doctor about 12 years ago complaining about being depressed. I cried in his office and told him that I feel like a lazy piece of sh*t. So he says to me.. "Are you happy being lazy?" -- I said "NO". He says then you are not lazy.

He said that LAZY PEOPLE ARE HAPPY BEING LAZY. And it does not bother them.

So right then and there I knew I wasn't lazy. Because I was not happy being lazy.

i hate all the stick i get of my mum she lives 30 miles away and come to my house every sunday and spend the day cleaning and walking round saying "how dose this place get like this and how can you not see thing need putting away" its not as bad as mum makes out i have organized piles of stuff everywhere but that my way if i had a place for everything i would forget where i put things it bad enough when your looking for something that is right in front of you let alone when its got a place and you cant remember where IM NOT LAZE im just me

Yeah, they call me lazy for doing that, too.

But am I really lazy when I finally get around to do the stuff, I do it in a fraction of the time others would? Cuz of hyperfocus and coping mechs that create short cuts?

Let's say it takes someone 8 hours (8-5) to do a day's work. I do it in 3 hours. The other 5 I lay on the couch procrastinating, or doing what my brain likes to do (compute, create, vegetate). So, am I lazy?

People don't like to see other people with free time on their hands. Or in my case, free time on my butt.

So, no, I don't think you're lazy. You just need to do what you're created to do. And that may not be to clean. But it will mean to be using your brain in a different way than others do. And it's okay.

I've often wondered about this myself. I hate getting started to clean. No one I've ever met actually loves cleaning. It seems the more messy iti is the harder to get around to       it. I'll manage maybe once every couple of months to really detail clean my house.. then it takes me 8-12 hours to get it all clean I have to be alone, and in the right mode to do it.       Which is hard when you have 2 messy kids too!

I try to break things up into daily rooms.. but I can never stick to it, I'll get sidetracked and end up doing more. or pile the days up and do it all at once  I feel bad because I hear my dh's Mom and Dad complain about how messy the house is  It's really not that bad, it's just not always 'eat of the floor clean'  I hate myself for looking at the mess and having no motivation to clean it! But once I'm in 'the zone' watch out because then I'm hyper focusing and will even use the toothbrush/grout cleaning brush and clean the tiles one by one! 

So, after my rant from yesterday--I had a funny thing happen-I found a paper I wrote in grade school (I'm 33) that was over my new year's resolution that year which was to be more ORGANIZED! It made me laugh because I thought-"I've been trying to get organized for over 20 years and it still hasn't happened. I think it's time to accept it--I'm a mess and that's OK!

I have a question. Is it being lazy when you just don't want to clean. Like just sitting on the couch watching TV and seeing that things need to be done but just not feeling like doing them? And do any of you have tons of energy one day to clean, and then the next day or two, you have no energy or will to do anything?

I just fear that I am lazy.

Mia