ped. neurologist is nuts!! | ADHD Information

Well, finally got Z to the Neurologist.  I was a few minutes late because directions had me turning on wrong street. called at 10:00 and appt. was at 10.  Receptionist was nervous like saying how Doctor was stickler for staying on schedule.  I was right around corner got there at about 10:09.  waited an entire hour while those who came after me went.  Ok, I was late, i get it.  So finally got called in and he proceeded to ask why he was there etc.  I tried explaining.how he does ok in school, off days here and there but still probs in evenings and mornings.   Z sitting with us whole time!..  So couldn't be totally forthcoming and go into detail without upsetting my son. tell him how he antagonizes, and bullies, and is totally out there in evenings.  and how sometimes meds don't seem to work at all.  Dr. proceeds to ask me if I am sure he is taking meds. because in Middle school they pretend to take pill and then sell it in school.  Mind you Z is 10 and in 4th grade.  It has never crossed his mind to pretend to take it!!! Much less sell them... Great Now a new idea is in his head!!  He proceeds to ask about academics.  Z is doing well academically.  esp since on concerta.  Work is neater and mostly completed.  HW is not a 2 hour battle. doing well there.  That is all doctor cared about.  I tried to explain socially aobut meds. and how he was before meds.  No real freinds, came home from 2nd grade saying he hated himself.  ( he also wanted to "kill himself" ) but Z does not remember this stuff so don't want to bring it up out loud.  So Dr. says that he is not convinced he has ADHD the only thing that makes him lean toward and not say off meds entirely is the improvement in school.  So tells Z it is his choice and he won't have to take it on weekends.  that he has to learn to control himself. which I agree he does need to do that.  That who am I giving him the meds for him or the people around him.  I was baffled.  Anyway this is so long. I am sorry. this appt was not what I expected.  I should have known when I did not get any questionairre for me or the teacher etc.  and BTW he was on the meds when he visited.  So dr. saw a quiet, calm little boy. (who was also scared to be going to the doctor)  Well, dev't ped appt is in May so hopefully better exp.  I mean how do I tell the doctor that he makes us all nuts and any peace and tranqility abruptly stops when Z enters the pic in front of the child!!!

If Z is making you crazy, it it probably affecting the parent/child bond and him being in trouble all of the time may be affecting his self esteme. These reasons are why my daughter's doctor likes meds on board any time that they help in social as well as achademic situations (I was the one focusing on school). You might try approaching the issue from that dirrection.

Omg that is horrible!  I have not seen a child specialist that did not request an appt alone befoe he/she saw the child.  My son and I talk over issues but still there is a whole esteem thing here!  Find another doctor and I would contest the payment to your insurance or privately!!!

I am brand new to this site. My son Trevor has been diagnosed with ADD, depressions & anxiety, OCD. He also has a hip disease that causes him to be in a lot of pain. He is in 1st grade for the 2nd year and is still slightly struggling. I found a nerodevelopmental pediatrician in our our area. He seems to be on the right track with diagnosing him and getting us the help we need. However I still am so unsure of so much. I have so many questions and would appreciate any help.

Shelli,

Why don't you start a new thread with your questions. I am sure you will find help and support here.

So, what exactly were you looking for from this doc, because it sounds like you thought one thing and he thought another?  Was this a repeat visit or an initial eval? Was there supposed to be some testing? I wonder if you could have asked your son to sit in the waiting room for a few minutes while you gave the dirty details? Clearly this guy is not a good match for you and I'd look somewhere else for help.  Just because somebody has Dr. in front of their name doesn't mean they have any human compassion.  Good luck!

watered down truths is exactly what he got, hardly anything at all so his conclusion was that he is not convinced it is ADHD.  The only thing he saw that might imply adhd wah that he improved in school.  Z grades were never really bad just that they would be so sloppy and rushed that his grade would go down for carelessness. and HW time was horrid.  Said that different kids different activity levels and all families eventually get a child that is higher energy level.  that basically we need to live with it.   Now I know about different energy levels, I can deal with that it is the other stuff that is the problem for Z,.  Being of more energy is different from being totally impulsive, defiant (all kids test and do things without thinking but most of them learn eventually :) )  Anyway,

thanks to all for listening to my vent.  I thought he was wrong about the way he went about things. 

[QUOTE=zjmom]

The problem is, when parents are just starting this path, we're not sure what we're doing and expect these professionals to know what's best for our children.

[/QUOTE]


This is exactly what happened to us!  Then the meds we were given didn't work so I just gave up the whole "help" thing for awhile.  This happend in Jan and Feb and I am just now feeling strong enough to seek help again.  We struggle a lot in the winter do to lack being able to keep him physically occupied so I am now venturing out for help again.  We saw a phycolgist/therapist and his pediatrian isn't much help either(although a good ped for other medical things).  Does anyone know of a good person to see in the greater Seattle metropolitan area?

Suzy
I had a doctor question me in front of my son. He got seriously watered down truths and his conclusion were therefore useless. I am not going to speak the plain truth while he is sitting there!!

I think talking like that in front of the children is just wrong. When I was just starting out with all this, my ds saw a behavioral counselor and he talked about things in front of ds I just couldn't believe. Such as, "Oh, kids will test you every way they can. They'll cuss and say #!!*%!@, etc." I told him through all the tantrums my ds had, he never once used a swear word (caught him when I'm not around, but not AT ME) towards me and new better. Well, wouldn't you know it, that night we were having trouble at bedtime and as I walked out of his room he yelled "A-Hole" (those exact words, not the actual - but it didn't matter ). I calmly got some soap on my finger (don't know if ya'll believe in this, but it was how I was raised and it only took once or twice - then again, I wasn't so "strong-willed" ) and wiped in his mouth with it. He hasn't said anything like that to me since.

The problem is, when parents are just starting this path, we're not sure what we're doing and expect these professionals to know what's best for our children. I have since requested ds to leave the room if the subject matter shifts to topics I'd prefer he not listen in on (or better yet, talk with the doctor about info you don't want ds in on before/after the exam).

If you feel uncomfortable, stop the discussion immediately and make your feelings known. Any doctor who objects to your sensitivity to your child is not one you want to have taking care of your child!

Good Luck to you and hope the dev't ped is more considerate!

Well, he said it to me with my son sitting right next to me.  that was after he told us how middle schoolers hide the pill under their tongue and then sell them.  Wonderful isnt it.  He was only interested in the academics not social or self esteem, and such.  Hoping developmental ped. will be better.  Z is doing good lately though,  only minor probs in evenings, but got into trouble in school today and last week.  But that was what I was wanting to see dr. about.  Sometimes he does well until meds wear off and then others it is just like nothing in system  ( I know he takes them it is done right in front of me.)  thanks Ok, I want to be sure I understand. Are you saying that the doc asked your son if you were giving him ( your son) meds to help him or the people around him?  Maybe I misunderstood what you were saying. Surely, the doc didn't ask your son that!?