My child has ADHD. Iwould love to be able to understand how his mind works. Could some adults with ADHD explain what life is like with this disorder? What is it like on med, and off meds. 

Also, if anyone takes Tenex (guanafacine) for their ADHD, I'd love to know how  it works, and how it feels.

Thanks!

Check out this message below. It's from this site one of the members started a thread where people could write about what it was like growing up with ADHD.

http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2419&P N=1

Ok I'm going to add my story here too just to make it easier

I'm a 27 year old woman with severe adhd. As a child my parents (actually my mother, dad was out of the picture pretty early) didn't put me on meds and pretty much knew nothing about the disorder. I was constantly in trouble at home, in school and my grades were horrible. I also suffered from terrible headaches, stomach aches and nausia both at home and at school. In fact I devolped an ulcer at age 9 and again at 13 from all the stress I had put on myself. Looking back now I'm sure my symptoms were mostly stress related. I wasn't physically sick, just overwhelmed most of the time. I'd worry constantly about getting in trouble because that would mean the teacher would yell at me and then my mother would yell and punish me when I got home. I remember knowing I was really smart, but after awhile I started believing that I was just a bad, lazy kid. I struggled and suffered with this until I got to college and had enough. All growing up people (teachers, family friends, etc..) had said that I was probably hyperactive but nobody went any further than just mentioning it in conversation. Anyway in college I was miserable, I had gotten by on raw intelligence and a bit of luck in grade school and high school so even though my grades weren't good I was able to graduate. In college I was finding life impossible, I couldn't sit through the lectures or complete all the heavy reading that was assigned. I had an idea what was wrong with me so I went to a Psychiatrist that specialized in ADHD. I got tested, diagnosed and put on medication for the first time at age 24. It was truly like a miracle for me. This sounds dumb to people who aren't hyper but I felt so comfortable inside. Finally after all those years I could sit on the couch, relax and watch an entire 30 minute show without feeling like I was going to explode. Not only that but I read my first real book. I actually read an entire book without getting frustrated, skipping pages or rereading the same page several times. It may sound like no big deal but to have to wait until your 24 to be able to enjoy a book was a major breakthrough for me. In fact I called several memebers of my family just to tell them. I've been on Adderall XR for almost 4 years now. I have never had a side effect and it works great. I am also planning on going back to college to get my degree. This time I will pick a difficult degree I know I will enjoy instead of just looking for the easiest program and hoping I can handle it. I know I can handle it and that I am smart, I'm not the lazy, bad kid from my youth. I am upset about all the time I've lost but finally excited about my future because I know I will have a future now. If I could go back in time I would make my mother put me on medication. Yes some medications have side effects, it is good to be informed about that possibility and to know what to watch for. It's all about finding the right one for you. Besides the effects of stress can be just as dangerous if left untreated. Not to mention the self esteem problems and depression that usually follows someone that is constantly failing. I'm not thrilled that I will most likely be on medication for the rest of my life, but I would not go back to the way I was before for all the money in the world.

If any parents that are reading this wish to talk more just send me a PM. While I can't tell you what it's like to try to parent an ADHD kid. I can sure help you understand what it feels like to be one. I think if I understood what it was like for my mother trying to raise me and if she understood what I was thinking and feeling as a child we would have had a much better relationship, then and today.

Larry, thank you for sharing that you sound so much like my own boy.  That is encouraging.  My son is really happy to take his meds, and when I stopped giving them to him due to my own guilt and fear, he was really mad with me.  Today when I gave him one he told me thank you and he yelled yippee, Mummy you were crying for nothing. 

Thank you all for your replies. This does help me to understand my son better. I would love to keep this topic open, and have more people add to it.

I do find it interesting (and very sad) that so many folks report feeling like they are a social outcast. I know that on some days, I dont even like him (though I defintely love him more than anything!!), and if he drives me nuts  as his mom, how on earth will anyone else ever like him? WIll he ever have any close friends?

This is a comlex issue, and it is not just about how well a child completes his/her homework. Those postings make that clear!

I thank all of you for your willingness to help others! 

Hey room.

i'm new to the thread. lol. I guess threads help me talk to people coz i dont' knw anyone else with adhd. but all i can say from my personal experience is that i was always an underachiever with adhd. and i was the type of person who no body liked. i was too wild and said stupid things constantly. i was easy to influence. in school i would say stupid things to my friend which i didn't understand why he used to react so harshly to. i never studied. i found it impossible to study. i could not study even if there was a gun pointed to my head i was that bad. lol i guess i did get through on raw intelligence as mafiokiddo said in the above thread.i would literally take a week off college and do stupid stuff that i liked. if i had something minor to do like buy a light buld i would just make it a mission to get it. i would burst out and buy it. well i'm 19 by the way and in college and i'm going to get some ritalin or something. i got by my whole life drinking coffee it just made me feel good. i started smoking at 14 and drinking at 15. but none of these things done me any harm but i do discourage them.if my brother done any of the above i would serously feel bad, but he's too normal to do that. my mind goes really fast i would think about something and next second it would be something else. when i try to study i sit down and read it but not really pay attention to the words, it's like when you are listening to someone talkin you can hear them but you're not paying attention, reading is the same for me. i would think about really stupid things and then go and listen to my music and dance just thinking about them. even if i was just thinking about a map or something i liked. i was a very creative person though and i loved the dreamy side of life. i was never in reality is one way to describe myself. well i hope this thread helps, i know it's fast well at least i think it is but i think adhd is just something you have to use to your advantage. i think we would make better police officers and ambulance personnel.we have the adventure streak.

it's just a matter of using it all to your advantage. the unfortunate thing is i'm going to have to take medication to get through college and i like being the way i am.meds would make me become like other "normal"people who have just made my life hard all these years. labels like "freak" "wierdo" and "lazy" and "dim wit" are really how i think of myself. sad because i consider myself more intelligent than most people. i have a very broad range of interests but they switch so often i actually have no hobbies at all. i can't keep them interesting long enough. one week  i could be frantic into one thing and next week something else would look more appealing to me and it would continue and continue until i would start feeling bad about myself saying "why can't i be a somebody who's good at something and can keep at it? i kept comparing myself to others, i began to think i'm inferior. sometimes i feel very depressed. i feel worthless and just that i'm crap to everyone. i'm supposed to be in class now but instead i'm wasting my time on this thread even though i prefer it to being in class.

                                                                        keep a chin up and don't let adhd get you down, it's good to have when you learn how to master it which we should try and learn.

I do find it interesting (and very sad) that so many folks report feeling like they are a social outcast. I know that on some days, I dont even like him (though I defintely love him more than anything!!), and if he drives me nuts  as his mom, how on earth will anyone else ever like him? WIll he ever have any close friends?

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I know how you feel Truth. I often think the same thing only about myself. I can't stand myself when I am off of meds so I don't know how anyone else can. Now that I'm on meds I can definately see why my mother was yelling and pulling her hair out all the time.

I too am a  social flop- outcast probably not,  I am very sucessful in pretty much everything I undertake with the exception of personal relationships, in another post wildlad said that he jsut doesn't feel things for people he feels he should well welcome to my world.  I struggle every day, I am considered brash,k obnoxious to some, out spoken, and rough around the edges. I get frustrated easily with everyone around me.  I am a doer and most peopledon't understand my inabliility to relax.  I can't focus on tv shows unless it's CSI Or action packed movies.

I can't have a desk job so I have stuck to retail which is frustrating too because of customer contact but I do okay. ADDers can focus and do things that they normally can't when their lively hood depends on it.  This is just my opionion but it seems pretty discriptive of my life.

I wish I had been diagnosed as a child.  7 broken bones  from boneheaded risk taking by 13, the constant  doesnt work to potnetial. Classes that I didnt like were literally like sitting in the dentists chair  they were so boring they were painful. I could obcess over what I was interested in for   hours at a time( pre nintendo) so it was comics, drawing, history.  I drew patterns  in the  circles  you color in with a number  2 pencil on  standardized tests till High school.  More than anything I was frustrated a lot and didnt feel liek I fit in.  I was considered immature. I am not sure if it was that so much as I had  soemthing else going on that  was  like a bit of an ankle brace  and making success in school that much harder. I dropped out of college, learned a trade and 20 yrs later am back in school but, I sure wish  I  had been given something that might of allowed me to do the things   I found  so boring they were painful or paid  attention in class to subjects that werent interesting.

 telling me  to exercise the willpower to study, pay attention, not interrupt in class  as a kid was liek telling  you to exercise the willpower not to inhale after exhaling... sure I could for a few  mnutes but that was it. I think   getting  your kid help  is a wonderful thing.  I ended up with a decnet life  but am only now   getting the help I really  needed. Living in chaos and disorder really does bother me  as it bothered me as a kid I just  didnt have the where wthall to will myway out of it.

When I was  13 it was O CRAP I DIDNT DO MY HOMEWORK I FORGOT...now it's OH CRAP I DIDNT PAY MY MC....I wish someone had  gottten me help 30 yrs ago but am grateful I can get it now

My ritual used to be   where are my sneakers  followed by frantic searc...where are my books followed by a frantic  search, the realization I didnt do my homework follwed by panic, rushing out the door late

Now its where is my wallet, keys,   shoes,   and  noticing  the MC bill on the copunter I have forgetten to sit and write a check out for  the last 2 weeks.

I still am   grat at focusing in on what I like and p[roblem solving at work. I still suck at  paying attention to things that disinterest me. Give me a book on the Roman empire I can read it  for hours,  give me one on  philosophy and I am asleep 10 minutes later  afer my eyes started rolling in my head  2 minutes after I started reading

I still  shake my leg non stop when sitting, or  i am rubbing my big toe  on the bottom of my shoe( stealth hyperness)

I am fairly successful  but  not nearly as much as  if I hadnt  had an untreated disability my whole life.... truth. I  am not sad  it wasnt caught i have done ok, I wish it had been but, what a great oppurtunity  you can  give your kid  the ability to maybe  remove  at least part of the ankle weight in a time of his life  when it matters most.  Now, if he is oppositinal and i wasnt and left untreated.... my shrink said be glad I wasnt    or I'd of ended  up in jail not  mad about   not being able to organize my life....sorry about the speling and reversing  it  never got better lol... I start meds  tommorow, maybe that will help if not well, it probably bothers other people more than me

I feel that having adhd is like wanting to crawl out of your skin 24/7! To have all of this info going through your mind faster then you can type! To feel dumb when you speak because you know halfway through the conversation you are going to not even have a clue of where you are going with what you are trying to explain! Your mind is like a run on sentence that never stops! It is as if sometimes I can stare right into somebody's eyes as they talk, but not hear what is coming out of there mouths. Its as if the whole world were on mute, except the t.v., fans, radio, and kids are the worst! I love them, but it is very hard to even wipe the counter down while they are screaming. Completing any sort of a task is a joke! My husband is used to the fact now that the water will run in the sink while I wipe down the table after dinner......oh the fridge is dirty, must wipe that down........oh shoot my sons report card is on the fridge and needs to be signed........go get a pen from the junk drawer.........what a mess, I need to do that tomorrow.........oh the water is still running, well I will wipe the stove down now, there is spegetti all over it.........oh, man the fridge is still opened..........go close the fridge.........shoot his report card............this is just a small glimse into our minds! If you found difficulty in reading this..........try living it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I once asked my best friend if her mind was ever just blank.........nothing going through it........just blank. She said that of course it was at times. I would love to know what that feels like? I would love to get a glimse into the mind of what some people would call normal! But then I am grateful for the perks of adhd. Yes there are perks! I can pick anything up off of the side of the road and make it apart of my decorating in my house! I can sing amazingly and draw any cartoon charector for my kids that they ask me to draw! I can play piano and write songs. But I can't spell a lick of anything.......as you can tell! LOL! If I could only make a living at what my adhd brings out in myself! Just remember that your son is not like you. For instance, if your son was born without legs, would you insist that he climb two flights of stairs and when he doesn't do it you tell him he is an idiot that will never succeed? JUST FOR THE RECORD I AM TRYING TO PROVE A POINT NOT AFFEND ANYONE. I DO SO HOPE THAT NOBODY TAKES THIS PERSONAL! MY MOTHER HAS R.A. AND CAN HARDLY WALK. I LOVE ALL PEOPLE. AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU WOULD EVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THIS TO YOUR SON!!!!!!! Alrighty then! There is another wonderful trait of adhd....putting your foot in your mouth atleast five times a day. My son also has adhd and I did not finely deal with mine until I was forced to deal with his. I was always told that the adhd was just a label that teachers used for the kids that they did not want to deal with. Well I was one of those kids and my mother refused to put me on anything. I love my mother, but she was wrong. And because of her thinking I also did the same thing with my son for far too long. I know now that this is my life and my world and I will share all of my experiences of frustration and anger with my son. We will get through this together. And you too will get through this. I suggest reading up on adhd. It helps to read others stories. But I see you have already started that.........this is the first step.

OK to all of the adhd'ers out there, is it just me or are the cute little smily faces driving you up the flippen wall. Dont get me wrong, I use them and they are great, but wow are they distracting!!!!!!!!!lol!

Oh, Ness, can we go out together & grab a drink!  You sound like my kind of person.  And no, I won't use any "flippen" smily faces.

I have often wondered what it would feel like to be "normal", ecpecially when I am in a funk.  But, after awhile (sometimes a glass of wine) I realize that I am who I am.  I have friends, a wonderful husband & 2 amazing children that wouldn't have me any other way.  My friends call me "Come on Carolyn" because I can talk them into joining me in my next greatest adventure from running that PTA committee that no one wants  to making the town rec do an annual Mom's night of Bingo which turned from a stuffy evening into some crazy fun.

On the down side my mouth gets me into trouble, I forget that I am cooking, I forget EVERYONES name, & I have ZERO patience( you know stupid people piss me off).  As a kid, school  (notice no one is smiling).  Because of all I had to endure, I have allowed my son to use meds.  I should probably also, but what with paying for his meds & therapy, it is to expensive.

So welcome, hope we can be a shoulder to cry on & friends that congratulate you over even the smallest triumphs.