Our Story and a Conflict Question | ADHD Information

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  welcome!!!  i have a 9 year old who just started adderal this past weekend.  we've had issues over the years but we just thought she was *spirited*...but once she hit 8 or 9 the maturation/social issues really became apparent.  my dd is in 4th grade and it was in this fall quarter where her grades really slipped...

luckily, my husband is in agreement with starting meds, etc. 

i joined chaad and that has been somewhat helpful.  but, this message board has been wonderful:) 

my dd has been on meds since saturday...and i truly see a difference on adderal @ 5 mg.  

anyways...i just thought i'd chime in and say hello!  you are not alone...and this is a great place to learn from:)  i have learned so much just from frequenting daily. 

shelley

 

IGNORE THEIR COMMENTS AND EDUCATE THEM.

I am lucky...my dh has always been in agreement, but I have certain family members that I simply don't tell.  My MIL is one of them...she is quite elderly and I just don't think she would understand and it would worry her to no end that Chase has to take a daily medication of any kind, let alone a stimulant...I simply tell her how well he is doing in school and otherwise.  Chase is aware of why we don't discuss this with Gramma Peggi, and it works for us.  I also don't tell my sister that lives in Holland.  She is very antimed for anything, and since she lives so far away it is not an issue.

Everyone else knows, including the rest of my inlaws.  In my family there are several shildren in this generation that are dx, and some of them stopped their meds too soon, so everyone can see how the med helped and the deficit now.

I say it is your business, the only one that I would really try hard to educate is your husband...perhaps after a longer time on the med, he will see the difference in your child himself?

Educate dh with the studies showing:

that the brains of people with untreated ADHD are smaller than normals or treated ADHD-

http://www.sciencentral.com/articles/view.php3?article_id=21 8391839&cat=1_5

Untreated ADHD increases school failure, school dropout rate, accidents (especially while driving), unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and substance abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco)-

http://www.acep.org/webportal/MemberCenter/Periodicals/Medic al+News/pediatrics/default.htm?newsid=0c0237bb

Your husband can be a part of your daughter's success or he can be a roadblock. He will  have to chose.

You can also, take a break from meds each year to see if maturation has reduced or eliminated the need for the meds (and remind you why she is on them).

Meds alone are not the whole treatment plan. Behavior modification and addressing social skills is also important.

Good luck. It is much harder when parents do not agree on a treatment plan.

Since starting meds, my daughter is now getting As and Bs (rather than the Ds and Fs of last year) and is happier and more self confident (rather than anxious and depressed). My husband basically decided to get out of the way of my daughter's treatment (his words), but is now happy with the results.

vickie39049.7383217593Hi All

I'm new here, but not to ADHD. Our 8 YO duaghter was recently 'officially'
diagnosed (well sort of...anyone else have difficulty getting people to SAY
it????). BUT we've been struggling for years with this.

Our story in major brief:
She is in 3rd grade this year and for the five years since she started pre-
school, some sort of undefined 'issue' has been noticed by each teacher
in turn. At first it was 'borderline sensory integration' etc etc. We actually
moved to a different state right before kindergarten to get away from the
horrible school system where we were living. Thank GOD we did
that...this school system is just wonderful. We've had great experiences
with ALL of her teachers. Though, each one has noticed an 'issue'.

When she was in first grade, we had her evaluated by an independent
psychologist...an ADHD specialist actually. His report indicated that she
had 'superior intelligence' and 'mild ADD tendencies' but felt it wasn't
diagnosable nor did it require medication. Second grade passed in a fog
of hoping that it was our Best Case Scenario, which was that she was 'just
smart and bored'. HA!

Third grade was always going to be the big test year. I believe that she
has only succeeded thus far due to her very strong reading abilities
(learned to read at 3.5 YO). Now that more critical thinking is required,
her 'issues' have become more obvious. So, after meeting with the
teacher, I agreed to have the school psychologist observe her. I was
AMAZED at the speed in which this was accomplished. WIthin ONE WEEK,
two psych's had performed classroom evals., the teacher and my DH and I
had completed our Conner's surverys and then next step was a visit with
the pediatrician. Took three weeks to get in there (grrr!) but we have now
started Ritalin LA as of Sunday (today is day three in other words).

I noticed an immediate difference. Monday, I got a wonderful email from
her teacher which started with the word 'WOW!!'. She had noticed a
DRAMATIC difference. As did I when it came to homework time (not one
single whine or meltdown, and I never once had to say 'get back in your
seat and get the job done'.)

Anyway, my questions are these:

1) Can I expect a change in the way the medication effects her as time
wears on?

2) Does anyone else have a conflict with family members (particularly DH)
about whether medication is necessary or the 'right thing to do'?

3) How do you go about handling those relatives...particularly DH?

Thanks for any input. This is all new to me and I'm thrilled to see the
beautiful smart little girl my daughter can be. We had such a great day
yesterday and my DH's attitude about the meds is really bursting the
bubble. Any tips or advice or answers are welcomed :)

lascassidy39049.4850462963

Hi and welcome to the board-  My son is also on ritalin la.  The only thing we've run into is that after a few months his body adjusted to it and we had to up the dosage, but our doc had warned us that might happen.

As far as your DH- that's tricky.  We have some extended family who don't agree with our medicating our son, but we handle that by not discussing it with them.  My inlaws were against it at first, but once we educated them about the disorder and how the meds work to help him they understood.  They also have the benefit of living close by, while most of the other family is out of state, so they've seen the difference in his behavior up close.

How much does your DH really know about ADHD?  You might try to get him to read Driven to Distraction by Hallowell or Healing ADD by Daniel Amen (this one talks a lot about the physiology of the disorder and how different meds can help). Another idea is to have him help her with homework a couple of times while she's on the meds, then "forget" them one day so he can really see the difference.  I think sometimes that the dads don't see as much of the problem behavior because they aren't doing as much of the childcare as us moms are (not true for everyone I know, but for many of us).