Hey everyone.
My nephew is 7 years old and is on Adderall 30mg a day. He has always thrown tantrums and told my sister that he hated her when he was mad....which is most the time. He tells her to go away. He tells is dad "F*ck you".
He is obsessed with anything military and anything to do with war. His favorite movie is "Black Hawk Down". He plays war computer games all day.
He has violent tendancies and I am worried as to what type of person he will become. I know it's hard on my sister, but he pretty much has the power. I think more structure and discipline is in order.
Also, I think a kid like him should not be watching violent things like that when he was always a violent kid.
Any suggestions that I can give my sister?? I love her and my nephew so very much and I want to help them both.
Please help us.........
My son was on adderall and it made him psychotic, he bacame VERY angry. The teacher told us he wasn't himself and it continued after school into the pediatrician's office. The medication was immediatly stopped. I also had noticed his eyes were red, dialated pupils as if he was high. Adderall did not like my son at all. He is on concerta and doing very well on it along with guanfacine. I would first start with revisiting his medication, check to see if it is the best for him.
His other interests are tough. It is what he is interested in, however, where did learn the words he uses - his movies, school, the home? I am shocked at that - I would never let my child watch movies with that language in them if that is where he is picking it up from.
What does school have to say about behavior there, are there any problems at school?
My son had a boy in his class who sounds just like your nephew. He turned out to finally get diagnosed with adhd, but also depression, as well as a learning disability.He even was sent back to kindergarten from first grade. He also loved military stuff, guns, etc. He was even a bully to my son from the day he walked into the kindergarten calss. My son just wanted to be friends, but he had to do his bully stuff. The principal even had the police remove him when he was in first grade right out the door in front of everybody at the the end of the day when all the mothers/fathers were there picking up their kids and the others were getting on the bus. But once he was correctly diagnosed, he got better. They moved a year ago and at the end, my son even liked him. He just needed the right diagnosis and medication.
Beth
I don't get why she would allow him exposure to any violent media at all...why would a 7 yo ever see Black Hawk Down..or own war computer games? What good could come from that? She needs to throw it all away, including Disney movies that have any hitting, like Shrek for example. She needs to throw away all of this military and action heroe toys. It's like all of the violent input needs to be undone. What goes in, comes out. And if there is an adult that talks about war and violent subjects, he just needs to stop. There needs to be a no swearing rule in the house. She could read 1-2-3 Magic for ideas on responding to the tantrums, swearing, and nasty comments. IMHO, this is not the boy, this is the boy's environment. Maybe the med selection is contributing. Other interests need to be actively fostered. If this is not a medication problem, and mom cannot figure out how to straighten out this situation, then she needs to seek the guidance.
My son did not clearly distinguish between fantasy or real. Violence was violence, and he incorporated it in his play and in his conversation. He simply failed to process the violent input properly, and therefore he does not receive any violent input. This solved the problem. Or maybe as a friend of mine said--actually he gets it, it's all of the adults who don't.
NoTellin39052.648125My DS-7 is all about weapons and swords etc. We are very careful about what he watches.. He loves star wars so we go with that, as it is light sabers, they are not real... We stay away from war movies.. with guns, that are real... does this make sense.. we go with fantasy, our drs. have agreed it is a good way to go with him. He does dream of being a soldier.. we will see...wmtmann39052.381875I applaud you for trying to help your sister and nephew. Is the Doctor aware of the boy's behavior? Did it get worse when he began the Adderall? I think the first step should be to determine if the medicine is contributing to his defiant behavior and if there are any other possible Dx's. AFTER THAT.............
Why on Earth is a SEVEN YEAR OLD allowed to watch a movie that is rated R? I haven't seen the movie, so I have no idea what it's like....BUT IT'S RATED R? And as other posters have already said, "If a child has violent tendencies, why is his family letting him spend all day playing war computer games"? I'll add to that by saying "If his behavior is that disrespectful and unacceptable....why is he allowed computer time, period?" In our house (and I know we all have our own ideas on raising kids, so I'm not saying it's the way it should be in every home) TV and computer are privileges. If behavior is unacceptable, if DD is rude or disrespectful, TV and computer are the first things I take away! She's almost 11, and she has never been allowed to watch a PG 13 movie...let alone Rated R!
I think your sister would benefit from some parenting cla$$es. I'm not insinuating she's a bad parent, but it does sound like she could use some common sense, helpful guidance. Once someone helps her see the ill logic in allowing a child of that age to watch shows/play games of a violent nature, and then wonder why he is violent, and once she gets some rules & consequences in place and is consistant with them, I would hope she would see some improvement. Then, she could seek counseling for him if it's not quite enough.
Wishing your family the best!
MamaBear39052.8940046296First off.......thank you all sooooo much for your feedback!!! I had sent my sister a few articles I found over the internet about discipline and the ADHD child. Of course they are all different, but the one thing they all stress is that there has to be structure and boundries and consequences. Right now, this little boy runs the show and has the control.
I think my sister lets him play those games and watch those movies because it's the "one thing" that makes the kid happy. Most of the time he is just real cranky or won't say anything at all. He is the child that is either hanging out by himself and will not join anyone else, or he's the one shoving the other kid.
It bothers me to see a kid so damn pissed off and mean most the time. On some occasions, though, he can be the sweetest child and you couldn't imagine him acting the way he does sometimes.
My sister has a counselor appt. with him coming up. I also gave her this web site and told her to come here for advice and support. I also have ADD so I come here for the wonderful community.
I am afraid of sitting down with her and telling her how to parent her kid!!!!! Especially since I am her 10yr younger little sister who doesn't have any children of my own!!! She is pretty understanding, but I don't want her to think,"well, who the hell does she think she is?!"
That's why I just started off sending her some articles.
Anyone have any ideas on what you would say to someone if you were in my shoes??????????
Your sister needs to get help for him and herself and needs to buck up. The child knows what he can and cannot do and that is not good I agree with parenting classes and would add a good psychologist too for a behavior plan.Someone needs to take the hard line with this little boy NOW. We never had a problem with violent movies but someone let my son play computer games like Carmageddon and other violent shooting games until one day I saw him and the image of my five year old shooting people (albeit on the computer) and blood gushing out etc was just enough to freak me forever. So everyone thought I was the baddie when I banned them.
I don't know much about Black Hawk Down but surely it has an age restriction? Those things are there for reason. And there are good movies out there for kids that present a good moral - Cars for example.
Anyway what I'm trying to say is I'm convinced some of my son's problems are from that early exposure to those games. Kids of that age, especially special needs kids, can't differentiate between fantasy and reality. This kid's been exposed to that language somewhere too. All those influences must be removed from his life. She may think it's the one thing that makes him happy but trust me - it's doing him a lot more harm in the long run.
Your job in addressing the issue with her is a hard one. But you could maybe use the tack that since you also have ADD you have some insight into what he is going through and know that you are grateful you were not exposed to thsoe things when you were little because it's a confusing enough time as it is being ADD (or something along those lines). In other words I would say she needs to know you are not judging her or her son but understanding them.