help im so scared

Sorry to hear about your daughters behavior and a choice in BOYS..

Well instead of yelling at her have you tried a different approach to her behavior and bad choices? Try to take it all day by day she needs to be loved no matter where how or who gives it to her.. Remember when you were a lteenager?  When your parents told you that you couldn't you wanted to do it even more so look about and think what could you change?   She doesn't want to believe it but you were her at one point in ur life you have been there and look are you married,  did your dad tell you no or just imbrass the thought of OH MY GOSH my little girl is growing up and I have to sometimes let her go to learn on her own or just flat out tell you NO..........?

Have you tried to spend time with her doing things that she wants to do I know that moms gross(in her mind) but it is worth a try!

Hope that helps

I'm so sorry you and your family are having to deal with this.

Is she seeing anyone for counseling?  I'd try that route if not.   Family counseling might be beneficial as well.  I was never a believer of counseling until this past year and 1/2.  I have found it to be extremely beneficial for me and my son. 

Counseling is definitely something you should try. Your daughter is definitely having social problems that are affecting her self esteem and behavior. Even if she fights you on it, she really needs the help. She may need meds for depression and anxiety but until she has seen a counselor you won't know.

My heart goes out to her. That age is so hard and then to have to deal with the issues of fitting in and having friends you can trust is devastating.

Please remember that as angry and scared as you get, its extremely important that she know you love her and want the best for her and that you believe in her. She is looking for love and acceptance and if all she gets at home is conflict, she will keep looking elsewhere. She needs to be in a cocoon of love at home and its not going to be easy because your natural reactions are to yell and get on her case when you are worried about her behavior. She will see that as further rejection. She needs to know you love and accept her as she is right now, not as you want her to be.

You can do it.