social skills training | ADHD Information

My son had social skills training classes and it was tremendously beneficial for him. Many times children with ADHD dont pick up on social cues thus causing a multitude of problems with peer relationships. Putting my child into social activities didn't teach him how to be social or pick up on social cuesl nor did it teach him how to react or respond in any given social situation. In social skills training classes, there is a lot of visual , hands on teaching as the teaching is done through role playing. I highly reccommend it as this has been my experience

My son only has one best friend at school and one in the neighborhood. He does not seem to mind and I think prefers it this way. Too many kids are distracting.

I happen to be exactly where you are. When my son was dx his neurologist suggested us that he attended social skills training which we are currently doing. Basically he needs to figure out social clues and needs to learn how to express himself better. He also has one friend and I worry a lot about his social life in the future.

He started this therapy about three months ago and I have seen very good progress in language development and some little progress in understanding social clues. My son biggest issue is that he gets easily offended and doesn't understand jokes or humor. So he has a tendency to be bullied by others due to his upseting reactions.

Socially I have noticed something. Ex: the other day when he was entering karate class some of the kids started calling him by his name but in feminine, I have to add that this is a common issue in male kids, and I was impressed by him, he just kept walking and took his place in class. The other kids stopped it since they didn't see an angry reaction in him; of course then the teacher called their attention bcause this was happening with all the kids in class.

His therapist (a psychologist) says that this process takes time. She says that her intention is that my son learns to manage these situations properly and has an easy relation with all the other kids even if he is not the most talkative.

I have nothing else to add since I think that I am still starting this process.

So, this is my experience, if you have any question about this therapy, feel free to ask.

JO58, While I wouldn't worry about your dd if she has one good friend, I'd like to recommend a book called Jarvis Clutch, Social Spy. Igot it from the B&N website. It's about a 6th grader (I don't know what age your dd is). I've only read a little bit, but my son (then 6th) really liked it. I got it because it was recommended to me by the school resource teacher. Depending on your dd's age, it might help. My ds said that he understood more about why people do the things they do. HTH

Mariaven wrote:

That is a great example of some of the things chidlren learn that attend social skills classes. They learn how to walk away and control the impulse to lash out. Its crucial that children learn how to develop the strategies in life and recognize the social clues necessary to make the right judgement calls in any given social situation because as they get older, life in general gets more complicated.

Thank you all so much for your replies. It is good to hear of kids attending social skills training and seeing success. To those of you whose kids are in these classes, are they through a psychologist and are they with a group of peers?

My dd is really easy-going and doesn't get upset by things easily at all. She can and does walk away from any situation with confrontation and bickering. I think some things probably go right over her head!! She isn't teased or anything, she just isn't REALLY accepted and included by her peers and I think as she gets older she will be more aware of it. I am guessing that she misses some of the social clues. She does not express herself that well either. Sometimes I think the meds actually hinder that ability. I am glad to hear that language development came along with the training.

Thanks for all the support and info. I have been thinking about these classes for a while but don't know if they are right for her. It helps to hear others' opinions and advice!!!

To those of you whose kids are in these classes, are they through a psychologist and are they with a group of peers?

Yes, my son was in a group with his peers and a Psychologist. The Psychologist role plays wit the children.

She does not express herself that well either. Sometimes I think the meds actually hinder that ability.

The meds should not hinder your daughters inability to express herself and if they do you need to revist the medication or the dose currently being taken. Actually, when medication is working at maximum benefit, it allows the child to exhibit their personal best in all areas and when other interventions are sought out as welll, when on medication those interventions work better.

psm/oldermom/pammer is this the same one as faith???

I was thinking the exact same thing ogram. faith has the same writing style, favorite topic, etc.

Don't get me wrong about the meds, they work wonders for her. She has been on adderall for 3 years and recently switched to Daytrana.The meds allow her to slow down, focus, complete tasks and be successful. I just worry about the social things catching up with her and wonder if classes should be added to her treatment. I just want to find a way to help my ADHD daughter achieve social success and didn't know if socail skills training was very effective or not.

Thanks, Jo

Did I say something wrong? I don't know who faith is but it doesn't sound good to be compared to her! Sorry, my writing isn't the best, just looking for some advice!

My son's social skills therapy is directed by a psychologist and in my case it is individual. He also has therapy with a tutor that helps him get organized with his daily issues and he goes twice a week. One lesson is individual, and the other is shared with another kid that the tutor selects also with the intention of enhancing social skills. The psychologist basically does a lot of role play and usually exagerates feelings in order to call my son's attention. She has done wonders in language development. When my son came fron school before, the only thing he usually said was that he had played with his best friend, but was unable to talk about the game or about any other school event. Today he comes telling me events with many details of the things he did in school. He is also more communicative when he speaks by phone with his father whom he only sees on weekends. I have really seen a lot of progress.The teachers have also told me that he is better socially. He keeps playing with one friend but is not as affected by other kids as he was before. So it seems that I am getting good results!

I wish you luck!!

Jarvis Clutch -Social Spy looks like a good book and the Social Self-Spying lesson pages look good as well.
Luvmykids0239080.9702546296Sorry about the urls. I did a search on the title of the book and got them.

Susieb: I will definitely try that book. My dd LOVES to read. She is in the 3rd grade and I bet she would like it. Thanks for the suggestion.

I think your son is on Daytrana. My daughter is too for 6 weeks now. It was good from the begininng but seems to be getting better as she "settles in" on it. Did you experience this?

Thanks, Jo

[QUOTE=JO58]Did I say something wrong? I don't know who faith is but it doesn't sound good to be compared to her! Sorry, my writing isn't the best, just looking for some advice![/QUOTE]

Not all all. Those posts were not making any reference to you. So sorry if you thought that.

SCHOOL FRIENDS ARE WHO CARES WITH DANIEL. HE LOVES HIS SCOUT BUDDIES. SINCE ADDEING HIS SUPPLEMENTS HE'S WAY BETTER.

Thanks for your replies. I go back and forth from feeling like it's okay for her to have one friend to really worrying about it. She is not too bothered by it now but she is becoming more aware. She loves other kids and would love to be more included but she doesn't carry on conversations with her peers all that well and can say off the wall remarks. When I observe her in groups I can see that she is not really accepted by her peers. It just breaks my heart........Her lack of skills is subtle to detect but I see the effects. I just wonder if social skills classes would really help????

hesmyP&J: I am sorry that your son is having a tough time. It's so hard to see your child sad but it sounds like you've gotten him involved in some informal social skills training. Hopefully it will pay off. Our school counselor works with small groups but they have never picked her out as one who needs it. They are usually working with girls who are being mean and luckily she is never mean. I just want her to be able to make some connections and be accepted by her peers. I would feel so much better if she had 3 good friends instead of one. Good Luck!!!!!

I don't know....my son only has two friends and I worry. What if things go sour one day with those friends. What if they move on. I've signed him up for a social skills class. Either it won't work and he'll be in the same situation, or it will and he'll be better off. At least I tried.pammer/failth94/oldermom/psm/pam, while most of what you say is true on SOME cases, that is not the case in MANY children. I don't think using FEAR tactics and the shock and Ah factor to new members will be an effective way to get your message across. It wasn't too long ago that you were telling all of us that our children were not adhd, but they were misdiagnosed and were actually bipolar. I don't think you should be posting things to scare parents into thinking what their doctors are saying are not true. You cannot possibly dx their children over the internet. Lord knows I cannot, and I would not even begin to try. Putting the message out there is one thing, but shoving it down our throats is another. you have 2 ids now and are caring on conversations with yourself. ~ogram~39058.9020949074

My dd has very subtle social difficulties but I as a parent see the effects. SHe was just telling me tonight how her best friend has been a little mean at school recently (not too uncommon at this age) and how a couple of the boys in her class say not so nice things to her. Here's the thing, she seems to be becoming more aware of social things but it REALLY doesn't bother her. SHe is so resilent and confident it amazes me. In her shoes I would be a basketcase. She has always been this way. Her teachers always say how great it is that she doesn't let things bother her. So should I worry about it???? I still think she needs more than one friend!!!!

BTW she does have a couple of friends outside of school.

Also, dd was dx with ADHD over 3 years ago and has done great on meds. I have done LOTS of research and have no doubt that she has ADHD only. We just don't have it all completely figured out yet but who does, right! It is very common for ADHDers to have social difficulties. My 47 year old sister has ADD and has always struggled a little socially.

Does anyone have any experience, good or bad, with social skills training for a child? Some books and dr's suggest it can be beneficial to help kids who have social difficulties but on the other hand I hear it is not really that effective. My 8 year old ADHD dd is really sweet, smart and even-tempered although very hyper, silly, impulsive and immature without meds, but, with or wothout meds, I worry about her socially. She has one best friend and they get along great and it is a good relationship but she doesn't seem to be able to make any other good friends. I really don't know why unless she is missing social cues. I have found one or two places that offer social skills training but don't know if it is worth the time and money.

Any thoughts or experiences?

Thank so much- Jo

One friend is all you really need. Other friends will come, don't worry! As for developing social skills, just keep her involved in organized activities that require her to interact with her peers. That is the best kind of social skills training.

My DS is 11 and has one good friend. He is starting to feel the effects of his lack of social skills. Kids are starting to make comments as well as not picking him for teams and such. He has not had any "formal" social skills training but the last 2 years in elementary school he was part of a group of 5 students that met 2 times a month with the school counselor to do role playing with each other to improve their skills. This year he part of a Peer Buddy program which meets about once a month. High School students volunteer to be a buddy to a special needs middle school student and they do various social activities like going to a high school foot ball game, taking in a theater show etc. DS always has improved confidence after the outings.

But seeing the pain and increased depression he is going through now has me wishing I would have sent him to one of those training courses. Anything that may help would be worth it. But only you can make that choice for your DD, you of course know her best.

my son is exactly the same way everything you said. i am going to try social skills counseling. Some people got me scared that it was more than ADD but also Asberger's Syndrome because of the social skills but after reading your post and others i now know it is a part of the ADD, he has one friend, has problems expressing himself socially, though he tries. He gets upset and frustrated when peers do not understand him and reacts to it. Bullies notice this and bully him all the time which then causes him to get in trouble becasue of how he reacts. They had put him in anger manangement CHILL at school because of this, when he is only trying to make friends. They do not pick him for teams, etc.

I am going to get him a speech therapist to help him with his speech and expression and am planning on social skills tutoring. I look forward to this. I am sure it will help you as well.