New, would love some support! | ADHD Information

Hi Bethann!

Thanks for the welcome.

Yeah he does! I'd love to improve his self-esteem.

That's the sad part. At such a young age he is so much like his uncles (that died) I want him to succeed, to grow up and have a happy life.

On Thanksgiving he was playing around on my uncle's piano. It sounded like he had some talent, so I signed him up for piano lessons. He's gone twice so far. I know it's boring at first, so he's not too excited yet. But I got him a keyboard to practice on, and he thought that was cool. In kindergarten I had him in soccer, but he lost interest fast, and wouldn't participate.

He doesn't really like sports, but loves the usual ADHD past-time (video games)

I wish they made some good affordable video and computer games for these ADHD kids.

Yeah you really described him and his friends. In fact I think after awhile, he starts being mean first so that he isn't the one getting hurt. He had a really bad experience in 2nd grade where the teacher treated him as an outcast and the "bad" kid, so of course the kids treated him that way too! She was an older teacher and didn't quite understand ADHD and how to deal with it, and she wasn't willing to try. I think that will stay with him forever unfortunately!

My son likes chess too and seems to be pretty good at it. I'll have to check and see if they have anything for him to participate in.

We actually recently switched dosages for his Strattera. He was on 25 mg. We had a checkup and since he was struggling in school she upped it to 50mg. At first he was worse.. all his behavior, but I gave it some time, and he got better. The teacher is good to send notes home and mark how he is doing. After about 2 weeks he was doing really well. But then about 2-3 weeks later he'd have problems and then it was about 50/50 that he'd have a good day then bad day.

I'm thinking I just need to get him back to seeing a counselor of some sort even if I have to take him out of school for a bit twice a month or whatever is needed. He was going to a really good dr. at a Childrens Center, but we moved out of state. Now we are back and my insurance doesn't cover her.

I wish there was an ADHD school we could send our kids where they would get the attention and help they need.

That is a good point on the bipolar issue with the ADHD meds. He's on the risperidal which is supposed ot help with that along with helping him sleep. What sucks is sometimes it makes him sleep too much and then he's still sleepy for school the next morning.

[QUOTE=BETHANN]

hi Pepperbird and welcome!

Your son must be feeling pretty lousy about all this stuff himself! Whenever I read about the social stuff with these adhd'ers, it really bothers me. They really seem to have a tough time making and keeping friends. I bet he is mean to them because they won't play with him and it bothers him, so his way of acting like it doesn't is to be mean. I bet his self esteem is pretty low too and that he is just as unhappy

Is there anything that he is interested in that you could put him in after school to give him a release, even if its swimming lessons, art, baseball, something that he could pick and maybe even excel at. My son liked chess so i put him in a chess class at our recreation center. He did very well and it helped him with social interaction and he even won the blue ribbon - great for his self esteem. We keep him signed up for a sport at each season as with the help of his medicine, he is fine. All the kids are in school together, so it helps!

He needs your help in finding some thing that he is good at and enjoys to move him into social situations positively.

He also needs your help finding the right medicine. We spent 6 months finding the medication and doseage. Maybe you can go back with doctor and figure out what is missing. He should be able to more successful when he finds the one that works for HIM and not be doing these adhd things while he is on medication. It doesn't sound like it is working. Very important - if he does have bipolar, then you have to treat the bipolar first, adhd medication on exasperates the bipolar worse!

Hope this helps!

Regards

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Thank you for your reply. My son is also extremely emotional, and he tells me all the time I hurt his feelings.

I need to read through my ADHD manuals again. I just never have the time anymore. I have 2 other children. I have a 2 year old who will be 3 in January. (girl) and a dd who will be 7 on the 14 of this month. Then my son who will be 10 in March.

With the older 2 in school and all their homework, there is never time for anything else.

I hate to ask them to clean up the minute they get home from school. But it seems like if I let them play for a bit, the house just gets messier and their energy is all used up. And yet they can still run around the house and fight. AGH!

My husband is in the Navy and so he's always coming and going. I'm sure that doesn't help my son any, and I know it can make me frustrated because I get to be a single parent at times.

I'm trying chore charts again with my older kids. Today has been decent. They've helped more than they usually do. (with a trip to the Dollar store as an incentive)

But my son would cry and get frustrated because he felt like he did more than I was giving him credit for. I'd ask him just to finish the job, for example, there was a few things to clean up in the bathroom. I just wanted him to finish before I gave him credit.

He started saying that he already did a bunch of stuff when he woke up before me. But obviously that wasn't true or I would have noticed. (and he never does stuff without me asking, and rarely when I do ask)

anyway........

Thanks for the hug!! That was very much needed.

I'd love to return the favor!

[QUOTE=Young Mom]

Welcome, I too am new. My son is 7 and your son sounds just like him from fighting for him to clean his room (which never happens unless I do it) to the respect, to saying the kids at school pick on him.

O man do we have bad days when he has bad days at school.

He too is on strattera, risperdahl, and he is also on prozac. He has ADHD, OCD, Bipolar with depression, Intermitten Explosive Disorder (IED), and PANDAS.

I am slowly learning how to talk to him as far as not just what I say but how I say it and the tone I say it in. And learning some of the things that I know will set him off. At other times you never even know it's coming.

Today was not a good day! Several times he started crying and when I asked what was wrong he would just say that I hurt his feeling and I still have no clue what I did.

I don't have much advise but I know for me it just helps me to know that we are not the only mother and child dealing with these things.

It takes a LOT of patience!!!!!!!!! To say the very least.

Good Luck!!!!! I know sometimes I feel like I need this so here's you one!

[/QUOTE]

hi Pepperbird and welcome!

He needs your help in finding some thing that he is good at and enjoys to move him into social situations positively.

Hope this helps!

Regards

[QUOTE=BPQW]

pepperbird said: Sadly, he died when he was shooting off a cannon! But I think it was all for the best. ADHD had such a hold on him and his life.

Holy crap, yes, that sounds harsh. Saying someone is better off dying because ADHD has a hold on them is like saying...oh..that someone with depression or diabetes or alcoholism or any of a thousand TREATABLE conditions is better of dead. Wow. And your son was recently diagnosed. I guess that means that over the coming years you are going to get a whole lot of perspective. As the mother of a boy with adhd, I wish you luck...and lots of perspective. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

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Well like I said, I didn't mean for it to sound that way! He was miserable and because of that, made everyone around him miserable. (you can ask anyone in the family) He didn't have an ounce of peace in his life.

I don't know your situation, but I'm sure you hate to watch your loved ones suffer.

And I never said my son was recently diagnosed. He is almost 10 and was diagnosed at 5. We have had a good taste of what ADHD can do to a poor kid.

I feel pretty confident in saying my BIL probably had a VERY extreme case of ADHD, he was probably also bipolar or manic. The family tried all kinds of therapy and meds with little success. His parents even split up for a year because of him. There was always stress and chaos surrounding him.

It is very sad that he died, and it was a tragic way to die. But it was brought upon by his wild behavior when he didn't ever think of the consequence. That cannon could have killed an innocent child in the backyard next door. I find it ironic that it hit him. I know it happened for a reason.

I'm sorry but he was suffering, and now he is not. Again, it is sad that he died, but we (as his family) are happy to know he no longer suffers!

Some of us are lucky to be treated and get better, others are not so lucky and they will always suffer. He had 21 years of suffering!

My other BIL commited suicide. We were extremely saddened by it, but came to accept it that he has peace now and no longer suffers.

I know the sadness and pain that comes with death. But you have to accept it and know when it's for the better.

I would rather have them both alive and well, but unfortunately they weren't getting well.

Of course I'd choose for someone to get better with treatment rather than to die!

I'm sorry if I didn't word any of this right. I honestly didn't want to offend anyone.

O man do we have bad days when he has bad days at school.

He too is on strattera, risperdahl, and he is also on prozac. He has ADHD, OCD, Bipolar with depression, Intermitten Explosive Disorder (IED), and PANDAS.

Today was not a good day! Several times he started crying and when I asked what was wrong he would just say that I hurt his feeling and I still have no clue what I did.

I don't have much advise but I know for me it just helps me to know that we are not the only mother and child dealing with these things.

It takes a LOT of patience!!!!!!!!! To say the very least.

Good Luck!!!!! I know sometimes I feel like I need this so here's you one!

Hello Pepperbird,

What do you say to a parent who watches their son or daughter suffer. I guess the best thing is hang in their and hope the medicine will give both of you some peace. Sometimes when things feel like they can't get any worse they some how get better . I am just starting my seach to help my suspected ADD ds. His symptoms are mild compared to some on the list. I am lucky and you will find yourself the same, because always, always someone has it worse than you. It does'nt mean it is picinic though.

I have my first meeting with his Dr. on Tuesday after turning in a test she had myself and the teacher complete. I am frightened about medication, but feel there is not alot of other choices at this point. If he was not having such a problem paying attention in school and falling behind I would not even consider it. He has been a pain in the butt this long, whats 10 more years .

Hang in there and I wish the best for you both.

Mom to 8 year old ds (maybe ADD)

Wonderful 4 year old dd

10 week old dd (which I forgot about sleep depervation )

pepperbird said: Sadly, he died when he was shooting off a cannon! But I think it was all for the best. ADHD had such a hold on him and his life.

Hi. I'm new here.

I was first introduced to ADHD when I starting dating my husband. He had it but it wasn't extremely noticeable. To me he just seemed moody at times and wasn't doing very well in school. It was his brother that really showed me what ADHD was at it's fullest! That was one overactive/hyper child!!! He almost seemed to get worse every year. Even up until he was 21. Sadly, he died when he was shooting off a cannon! But I think it was all for the best. ADHD had such a hold on him and his life. (I hope that doesn't sound harsh, because I don't mean to be rude)

Anyway, my son was diagnosed with ADHD about the age of 5. He was also diagnoxed with dysthmia and possibly early onset bipolar disorder. He's been on probably every ADHD med out there. Currently he's on Strattera, zoloft and risperidal. He is 9 now. There are times when he's doing pretty good, but most of the time he struggles. He's behind in school. I want to get him back to see a physciatrist or whatever, but I'm afriad of having him miss any school to go to appointments.

He is constantly fighting with me about every little thing.... cleaning his room, doing his homework.. etc. I'm frustrated and I know he is as well.

He doesn't seem to know any limits. I try to teach him respect and how to act properly, but he just doesn't get it. I want him to be happy, I don't want to criticize him for being who he is. Of course at the same time, I want him to act appropriately.

He doesn't have any friends. He says they all pick on him, but the teacher says he provokes it. (which we've seen him do)

He seems to love to say mean and hurtful things..

I don't know what to do or where to turn right now, so I'm starting here.

Thanks!

[QUOTE=gail1968]

Hello Pepperbird,

Hang in there and I wish the best for you both.

Mom to 8 year old ds (maybe ADD)

Wonderful 4 year old dd

10 week old dd (which I forgot about sleep depervation )

[/QUOTE]

Thanks for writing, it's very much a rollercoaster ride. I've done lot's of research too. I guess it's just something you really have to keep on top of. But it seems like something finally starts working and then it wears off after awhile.

I remember the tests! I e-mailed his teacher today to see what we can do. I'd like for him to get some help at school through a counselor maybe more. His teacher this year is great and trying to work with him, but I really think he needs some more one on one. I think he has a learning disorder on top of everything else.