wont keep his hands to himself | ADHD Information

My son is 9 years old and has to sit up at the front of the room because he won't leave the other children alone. He is constantly messing with thier desks or putting items in thier hair. He thinks it's funny and no matter what I do as punishment, he will not stop. He gets in other childrens space and wants to be the center of attention. Any suggestions?

What has helped for my son is--

*having him write the sentence "I will not touch other kids" ten times daily
*having a zero touching policy at school conveyed by me (no comprende on the grey areas of touching = zero touching)
*telling him that he needs to try to understand when other people do not think that what he is doing is funny. I would tell him every time he did something to amuse that was not funny. I also pointed out when his younger sister was doing something "funny" to get his attention, and he did not think it was funny
*I started telling him that not only is he not funny, he is annoying. I kept asking him if he was aware that he was annoying other children. I told him to look at the expression on people's faces and think about what the expressions meant. I told him that I was telling him this because it is my job to help him.
*telling him to pretend that he had an invisible bubble around him at school

My son is not medicated. These behaviors are reduced but not gone. What has helped the most was getting him to see that he is in fact annoying and not funny to other children. I am also trying a social skills class. I'm hoping that he'll learn how to get attention from other children in a more effective manner in the class.

My DS was also very touchy feeling and in your face when he was younger.  Meds helped as well as getting older and "finally" getting a clue.  He is still socially inept but that particular aspect has improved.  I am sorry i can not give you more help - but I feel for you.  The pain of watching your child shunned is very painful.My son also had a real problem with touching the desks of the kids near him, or pointing pencils at them, or administering random hugs, all of which distracted the other children to no end.  What is your child's diagnosis and what are your treatments right now?  Medication has helped my son's self-control, so we rarely have these issues any more.  I've also heard "fidgets" suggested as a way to keep their hands busy so they leave the others alone.  These are things they can squeeze or rub, like stress balls or touch stones. I've also heard that putting one of those heavy-duty rubber bands across the front legs of their desk, for them to bounce their legs against, can also be very helpful. Good luck finding something that works for him, being separated from the regular formation of desks (which some teachers like to do as an "accommodation"/punishment) can have harmful self-esteem consequences.I am unsure on what to offer but a hug.

Your son sounds like my son before medication!

Has your son been diagnosed with ADHD? If so, is he taking medication? 

My son is 9 and would do impulsive things before we medicated him. He no longer does anything to bother the other children. He was always in their space and was so impulsive that the teacher even told me that he didn't realize he did it until after he did it!

Also, the funny part that you son thinks he is being, is so ADHD! My son is like that before the medication takes affect in the morning. He never was so bad that the desk had to be moved to the front, however, we started medication during the summer before entering second grade. If we hadn't, I'm sure he would have had that happen to him too! If your son keeps it up, he will end up not having any friends because he annoys them! That is why we started medication. I did not want my son socially isolated due to his impulsiveness that he could not control. Your poor little guy

I would talk to the doctor about either getting him on medication or if he is taking something, then upping the dosage  or changing to one that works for your son. Every body is different as far as what mediation and dosage works for them so it is a trial and error period. It took my son 6 months to find the right med. and dosage. He has been at the same med. and dosage for 2 years now!

I hope I have been of some help!  Keep us posted and ask all the questions you need to!

Regards!

WWOWW

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Do your son have ADHD because that is my child, won't keep his hands to themselves and do not know how to stop even if the child states it, cannot comprehend.  In people space, etc.  Its gotton a little less now that he is on meds, but sometimes, on his off days, it happends.

Pre-teaching constantly and be firm on your punishment.  Maybe his punishment is things that he does not really care about.  My child loves gameboy so if I take that away that hurts him.

Pick something that your child loves and possibly can't do without.

This is common for children with ADHD as they are impulsive and fail to pick up on social cues, They don''t get the fact that they are being annoying and intruding personal space because they are acting on impulse. It's not that they don't understand that such behavior is socially inappropriate. For those that chose to medicate, if the medication is working at maximum benefit, the child then thinks before they act and therefore recognizes boundaries. Like any other child, sometimes they will cross boundaries but the use of medication combined with social skills traning classes has been proven to be very beneficial. No child is perfect but they will see more good days than not so good days. Medication allows the child the ability to make a choice rather than act on impulse but combined with socail skills training classes will teach them how to make the right choices.

Whether the child is medicated or not, positive reinforcement is most effective, While consequence are necessary for inappropriate behavior, far better results are seen with a behavior modification plan that sees rewards as well for the things they do right. Check our ogram's marble thread. Every child needs different iinterventions but the right strategies for the individual child can make for significant improvement. While there is no one right answer, the goal for all our children is to help them experience quality of life and that can be achieved when the interventions used help manage all the symptoms of ADHD.

Luvmykids,

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Well said!

[QUOTE=Inner_Beauty]

Luvmykids,

CO-SIGN AND ^

Well said!

Thanks