my 3 year old son

my childs psychiatrist told me not to argue.  No words.  Just say "You go to your room"  Dont let the kid drag you into a fight.

He sounds so much like my boy, when he has gotten in trouble for something - he kind of speeds up and becomes a tornado.  When my son was 3 he woke me up in the morning by hitting me over the ear with a kitchen implement - it broke the cartlidge.  He was kick, scream, hit me in shopping centres, to the point where I would literally have to drag him out.

If my son does something like break the radiator.  I would make him sit down on his bed and not move while I fix it.  If he tried to move away I would get really stern with him.  He could scream and yell all he likes, but he will not be allowed to move.  Then I would close his bedroom door and leave him there till I calmed down.  This stops him from going off destroying something else while I am occupied.

Restraint is important.  When my son was that age, I had resorted to locking his door on the outside for 10 minute periods just so I could calm down and stop me killing him.  Once he removed the handle from his side and we couldnt get in, we had to break through his window.  So keep in mind that this may happen and have another way of entering the room easily.

I also locked him in at night, but left  a baby monitor in his room.  Otherwise he would get up and play with the stove, climb the fences  etc.  So for his own safety, consider ways of restraining him. 

I have no idea if this is considered child abuse, but if I hadnt have done it, he could have killed himself, or burnt the house down, then I would have been liable for neglecting my responsibilities or dead.

So be tough, but loving.  Dont talk at him too much, because he isnt listening.  Just give directives, and consequences if they are not carried out - like time out.

I told my sons psychiatrist that if  I give him a job, like empty the diswasher he will argue and say I would rather go to my room, he chooses time out.  I said to the psychiatrist what should I do, he said to let him go to his room and punish him with no tv for the day.

And keep this in mind.  My son does not hit or try to hurt me anymore, occassionally he strikes out at other kids, but never me.  So your son may also get over this.

One more thing, When your son is tantruming about - for instance wanting a ride at the shopping centre on one of those horrible horse or car things, and you dont have time or money, repeat back to him what he wants, Say "You want to ride, You want to ride, You want to ride, You want to ride, in a hyped up voice full of emotion of frustration (just like he is doing), when he hears you are hearing him he will calm down.  Then calmly tell him why he cant and distract him with something else, talk about Grandma or something.  This worked great for me.

what are his behavioural issues and we will deal with consequence ideas one at a time.

that sounds good to me lol.  thats why i go to work to get peace and to keep my sanity

good for you regarding the behave group, it will probably help heaps. 

Regarding your shopping on-line, isnt the present a wonderful thing sometimes.  How did mums with ADHD kids 100 years ago manage - whew!  They probably just sent them out to work on the farm.