ready to give up | ADHD Information

Ok....I got married to a guy who has a 8 year son.  I have been with my husband for three years now and it seems like his son keeps getting worse.  He has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication but he's always sneaking things into his room (mainly food).  I don't understand why he sneaks things when we've told him all he has to do is ask.  This hasn't happened just once or twice.  it happens pretty much every night.  He even sees a therapist but that doesn't seem to be working either.  We try to reward him for good behavior but that doesn't happen very often because he's always in trouble for sneaking or lying.  I have a 3 year old and i'm so terrified that he's going to learn how his big brother acts and repeat it as he gets older.  His father and i are about ready to find some kind of juvenile hall to put him in because we're tired of dealing with it.  Anybody have any suggestions on how to get him to stop doing this?

He was just reevaluated on the 10th of December.  I'll try looking at  the co-morbid dianosis board....Thanks

Good advice you have gotten - I would also like to add that your husband cannot give up on his son.  My heart lurched when I read that you were thinking of sending him to a juvenile hall - he is only 8.  He needs help from someone, and his parents are the only ones who can advocate for him and try to help him.

Think of it this way - this boys condition is a medical condition (ADHD), but many of the symptoms are behavioral.  If he had cancer or diabetes, would you think of sending him away because you didn't want to deal with the treatments?

I am glad you found this board, you will get not only lots of information but lots of support too.

I have a 5 year old (ADHD) and a 3 year old - yes, we see some behaviors that are learned behaviors from his older brother, but we are trying to be consistent with both of them and to teach them what is acceptable behavior and what isn't.  It is HARD WORK, but our kids deserve the best we can give them.

 

Being a parent isn't something your husband can opt out on by sending an eight year old to juvenile hall for sneaking food into his room and lying. I hope you are not serious. Stand back for a minute and think about how that sounds. Dad needs to step up to the plate. What is the actual diagnosis and what has his father done to help him? He needs to do ALOT. If he cannot figure it out, then he needs to spend some serious cash getting professionals to figure it out for him. He needs to start with a comprehensive neuropsyche evaluation and figure out exactly what the problem is, and what he needs to do about it. And then he needs to spend more cash doing whatever is recommended. I think you are expecting too much of an eight year old. He is eight, he needs help, and the father in his life need to provide that help.  Your three year old IS NOT more important than this child. They are on equal footing. You don't toss the eight year old out the back door because you fear he may be a bad influence on your three year old. That just isn't logical or sound thinking.

NoTellin39068.9145717593

That is exactly what I was going to suggest too.  A friend of mine has a son who does this- mostly with candy/chocolate.  She too allows him to have it, just needs to ask.  Possibly this behavior falls into the OCD category.  My friend's son is taking Lexapro for it and other OCD issues.

Good luck!

Don't give up on him. I think just about every parent here has felt like that at some point, often more than once.

It is important that you have him diagnosed by a neuropsych or a qualified behavioral psychologist. The right treatment is vital in your quest to help him and without an accurate dx, you won't be able to get that.

If you want to try some nutritional supplements while you are waiting to get him to the right diagnostician, omegas would be my suggestion. Many times you see a remarkable change in a child with behavior problems simply by putting them on omega essential fatty acids. It takes up to 90 days to really see the full effect but you should see some improvement within several days to a couple of weeks. They don't work for everyone but they work for enough people that I would try them.

Hang in there. My son's 8th year was a nightmare to me until I put him on the omegas. I think 8 must be a hard year for them. They are really starting to get into things at school that require so much more from them and that creates a lot of stress. Of course, stress is going to make things even worse.

I can assure you that he doesn't like being the way he is and doing the things he does. Every child wants to be loved and appreciated and get positive attention. Sometimes they can't control their behavior no matter how badly they want to.

You can get through this and you can help him. You may never have quite the life you had envisioned at one time but if you are willing to invest time, love and whatever it takes to help him, you will have a good life.

You may check out Prader-Wili Syndrome on the web.  I don't know to the extent that your little guy sneaks but it is a typical characteristic of the syndrome.