more myths to squash | ADHD Information

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Here is a myth I need to confirm or squash.  My family believes if I am "just more firm" with my son, his behaviors will change.OH BROTHER.  I doubt it, but it may give you a running start at the co-morbid ODD diagnosis. Too bad you didn't think of being more firm years ago, LOL.

It all depends!!!!

I used to think the same, but in my case being more firm does not work because of my son adhd.......

If you have any question, you are welcome!!!

Structure is good, rigidity is not so good. Positive reinforcement works better with ADHD kids, taking things away can push them into ODD (as stated above). What works with a non-ADHD kid (because they can relate to consiquenses better) does not neccesarily work with an ADHD kid (that whole time and consequences unawarness coupled with impulsivity making a parent nuts thing ).

These things are also true with gifted kids. They tend to question authority, want to know "why" and are more concerned with justice thatn most kids.

vickie39070.7073958333As one wise soul on this site said to me "you cannot spank the ADHD/Autism/Bipolar, etc. out of them!"i have a list of myths and a list of celebrities that have adhd on my blog on adhdnews.com.  check it out the link is in my sign.

If you could get ADHD out a child by being firm or using strict discipline, there would only be about 3 members here. I think that is the first thing every parent tries if their kid is really ADHD.

The 3 that would still be here probably wouldn't  be ADHD, but rather would just be spoiled.

i just don't think being "firm" with adhd is a good thing.  I'm adhd and it just forced me to rebel against my parents!!!  And that is the God's honest truth.  hands on discipline and sensible reasoning works so much better.  Participation with adhd children is a must have.  ADHD children are much smarter than many give us credit.  The more hands on we are given the better we behave.  it's strange but true.  check out the marble thread.  Proof it works with my son and with me as an adult.I don't believe that "more firm" does anything for our kids.  They certainly need a different way of discipline, though.  If that was the answer, adhd would have been disproven years ago.

My husband just said this to me the other night.  He said that we need to be more stern with dd and she can control it if we have strict guidelines for her to follow.  He said "Just give me two weeks with her".  Now, with our other three children, that would not scare me.  BUT with her (our oldest), the thought does scare me.  Because I know that it would just end up crushing her spirit.  She would be doing everthing wrong, of course, and I realize that because I'm with her every day.  He's at work - I'm the nurturer, disciplinarian, etc. with her.

So, that kind of hurts my feelings because he really has no idea what it takes and that you have to "pick your battles" with ADHD children.  If it's not hurting anything or anyone that she's upside down on the couch or singing, etc.  I don't think a thing of it.  He thinks if he is stern with her and tells her to sit on her hands, it's the magic answer.  HA!

Anyway, I also agree with everyone else, btw.  You cannot strictly discipline the ADHD out of a child.

 

[QUOTE=bbopper].....

that you have to "pick your battles" with ADHD children.  If it's not hurting anything or anyone that she's upside down on the couch or singing, etc.  I don't think a thing of it.  .....

 [/QUOTE]


Thanks for that.   My son does this too, I will let it go next time.

I would love to hear more on disciplining 'strategies'...


Christine



I don't know whether this is primarily a gender difference or what, buy my wife is much more permissive - I am the disciplinarian.
My firmness has definitely gotten his grades up. His mom is much more willing to just let things go rather than push him. Of course, this pushes me into an even firmer stance, which can be not so great. And my firmness sometimes causes her to exaggerate her own permissiveness.

But I will tell you one thing: he never speaks to me with the disrespect he shows his mother. It really hacks me off to hear how my wife lets him speak to her at times.