Sensitive & ADD

I think I understand CS mommy here, and I don't htink it is about being spoiled, and not about not appreciating her close nice-sounding family.

Maybe I am wrong here, but I recognise the apprehension that comes with summoning up the energy for these activities, and an awful lot seems to be happening at the same weekend. If CS mommy is a HIghly Sensitive Person AND ADD, it would explain that you know you are going to be feeling worse after all that stimulation, and  all of you is starting to panick in advance, as to how you can organise it in a way you can control, so that you won't get too overstimulated? Being ADD causes your head to spin with all the alternatives that are possible, which would make you feel less bad, but actually the thinking makes you feel even worse....

Are there other Higly Sensitive Persons with ADHD on the forum? Do you reckognise this mind-numbing apprehension that comes with social activities?

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Yes I really can relate to that.  When things come up that I have to do I almost panic.  What am I going to wear, how am I going to have time to complete the things around the house that I need to and still be able to shower and get dressed in time etc.  When it is a party or something that requires that I bring a gift or food it gets even worse.  I had no idea why I had this kind of reaction until I was diagnosed with ADD.

It is good to know that I am not alone in feeling these things.  I was starting to think that I was some kind of a failure because I would see other woman doing these things so effortlessly.

A couple of weeks ago when my husband was out of town I was feeling kind of depressed and alone some friends stopped by and said that they were going to take me out for dinner.   I couldn't handle it, even though I had absolutly nothing else going on that night it was way to spontaneous for me.  I ended up talking them into going to the grocery store and getting something to make at my house.  After it was all over I felt so ungrateful.

Speaking of sensitivity, do any of you find that there are sounds or sights that can drive you totally out of your mind?

When I am around people that jingle the change in their pocket or put their fork against their teeth while they are eating, for example, I feel like I am about to jump out of my skin.   It can change my mood in a split second.

Oh yeah, my calendar. Now where did I leave that thing anyway? When I do find one of my calendars, if I remember to write the date in, I may write the wrong one (I often transpose numbers so the 12th may end up being the 21st).

I'm sorry, I did not mean to sound nasty and sarcastic. Well actually, I did mean to sound that way. But I should not have. My marriage of 20 years looks like it will be ending soon, so I guess I have a hard time with anyone complaining about what seem like really minor things to me. I am in a bad mood right now. 

So please try to have a great time and take my comments with a grain of salt!

I'm sorry, I did not mean to sound nasty and sarcastic. Well actually, I did mean to sound that way. But I should not have. My marriage of 20 years looks like it will be ending soon, so I guess I have a hard time with anyone complaining about what seem like really minor things to me. I am in a bad mood right now. 

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I am very sorry to hear that.  Perhaps you would like to vent.  Actually I am sure you would like to.  And you are right it is minor.  I admitted that I was being a baby.  I really just wanted to get it all off my chest before this evening so I didn't ruin anything he had planned. 

I think I understand CS mommy here, and I don't htink it is about being spoiled, and not about not appreciating her close nice-sounding family.

Maybe I am wrong here, but I recognise the apprehension that comes with summoning up the energy for these activities, and an awful lot seems to be happening at the same weekend. If CS mommy is a HIghly Sensitive Person AND ADD, it would explain that you know you are going to be feeling worse after all that stimulation, and  all of you is starting to panick in advance, as to how you can organise it in a way you can control, so that you won't get too overstimulated? Being ADD causes your head to spin with all the alternatives that are possible, which would make you feel less bad, but actually the thinking makes you feel even worse....

Are there other Higly Sensitive Persons with ADHD on the forum? Do you reckognise this mind-numbing apprehension that comes with social activities?

Ok, we all know people with ADD are VERY sensitive.  I need to get something off my chest in hopes I can not explode at my family.

My birthday is next week & my husband is taking me out to dinner tonight, Friday.  I do not want to go out on Friday, I am tired.  Saturday nights are for going out, but we can't because my son (also ADHD) has a football thing.  Ok, but it is MY birthday, he can miss 1 football party.  We also have a football game to attend in the AM, so I have to come home early to get up early.  Also I would love to celebrate like we did last year, invite some friends to dinner at PF Changs & hang out, swap meals & drink, laugh & be merry.  My husband made reservations at a nice seafood restaurant for just the 2 of us.  It is not that I do not like to have dinner alone with DH, but to that is like a Valentines dinner, or Anniversay ( of which we celebrated 15 years this past year w/o any hoohaa because of $ concerns).  Afterwards we are going out for drinks in town (if I am still awake) & I am sure he called some friends to meet us & he wants to surprise me.

The day after mine is my fathers' b-day.  So our family naturally celebrates them together.  My father is on a special diet, so we will be eating what he wants.  Which is fine, I adore my father.  But it is also MY day.

I guess since it is MY day, I would like MY feeling taken into account.  Can you believe I am sitting home crying about this.  I know I am acting like a baby.  I just want to get it all out & try to put on a happy face because I know people are thinking of me, & trying to plan nice things, it is just not what I would like.  I do not want to hurt DH's feelings, I know he works hard, & he thinks he is planning something I would like, but he just doesn't get it, or me.

Sorry I am being so sensitive, I just thought if I got this off my chest, I wouldn't do it later to him.

Thanks for listening, sorry if I sound like a brat.

Okay let's get this straight:

#1 - Your husband remembered your birthday.

#2 - He planned ahead to take you out to a nice restaurant.

#3 - He likely has planned ahead and invited friends to join you later for drinks.

#4 - He is doing all this for you on Friday instead of Saturday because in addition to being a good husband he is also a good dad and has an event scheduled Saturday with your son.

Did I miss something here?

I do not mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like you are a pretty lucky person.

It is a good think you are not married to someone like me.

#1 - There is a 50/50 chance I would forget your birthday alltogether.

#2 - If I did remember, it would be at the last minute and we could not get reservations to any place decent

#3 - I would never be organized enough to invite friends to meet us.

#4 - If I did remember the birthday, I most likely would have planned to celebrate on Saturday because I forgot about the football commitment until about an hour before leaving (after making a committment to both you and your son). In which case I either would have to cancel the birthday dinner at the last minute, or cancel the football dinner at the last minute (making you the "bad guy" and the reason we could not attend your son's football dinner).

Be happy you have ADD and not your husband. 

I think it's too late to change plans now. I would go out and enjoy my bitrthday with a husband who WAS thoughtful enough to make plans.  Maybe next year you can suggest to him what you'd like for your birthday ahead of time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUU!!!

Wow Chaz, you are right I am glad I am not married to you.  But then again, after about 2 months of dating someone like you I think it would have ended.  Currently the only person not diagnosed with ADD is our daughter,  & our dogs. 

1.  Birthdays are a very big deal in our house.  It normally takes presidence over everything else.

2.  Of cource Football is important, it is his life, & he is one of the coaches.   

3.  And as for remembering any social committment, can you not read a calender? 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUU!!!

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Thank you.  I am planning on going with a big smile on my face, even if it isn't what I would like.  That was why I can here.  You know, get it off my chest & out of my system so he doesn't know.  It IS very nice that he planned something, & I am sure it was done with the best of intentions.  It is just that (whine, whine, whine) b-days are a huge deal in our house.  Nothing ever stands in their way, & since we have been together for soooooooo long, 1/2 my life, he knows what I like & don't like.  But ever since our son started football................his reliving his youth thing really is getting in the way of everything.