7 year old being evaluated | ADHD Information

We are currently going through an evaluation with the doctors/psychologist, etc for my 7 year old son. He is very active, always has been.

Lately at school he is saying very mean things. Like I am going tokill my mommy. He told a kid yesterday he would cut his head off and called kids jerkoffs. I ask him what is going on before he says something and he says the kids are teasing him. we have a situation now where the kids love to tattle on my son. Yesterday the kid took the ball away from my son and teased him til my son said something. I told my son to tell the teacher but he said the teachers don't listen or wont' do anything about it.

I am so confused on what actions to take now. My son can be extremely affection, loving, has some very good friends but most of the kids love to watch him then when he does one thing wrong they tattle on him. He will never tattle on anyone as he doesn't want them to get into trouble! So he gets in trouble daily.

Anyone experience anything similar and how did you deal withit? I have taken away video games, dessert, all kinds of things and the school has taken away field trips but he won't change. When the kids tease or harrass him he retaliates with words. He is not agressive by hitting or anything like that, Thank God but he doesn't stop the mean things. He isnt' a vicious child and doesn't really mean these things at all. But he says things to get areaction and attention.

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We are currently going through an evaluation with the doctors/psychologist, etc for my 7 year old son. He is very active, always has been.

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Reading your post brought back memories just a few years ago. I actually had to log in to post, got up, got a drink, because this will be long.

My son never said the things that you mention in the post or lost field trips at school, however, I can only imagine what is REALLY happening to your son. My son was diagnosed before he turned 5. My husband and I decided to not go the medication route. Biggest mistake of his/our life! He was labeled so badly by both the kids and faculty that he is still working it off, so to speak.

Your son is probably being teased more than you know or can even imagine because the other kids have no patience for his behavior/antics, etc. My son is very ADHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHD, impulsive real bad. The kids would make fun of him, said he was sent back to preschool when he was really out sick! It really broke my heart, and his, I was just more emotional. His "friends" really weren't his friends, they would follow others, leave him out, mothers of this children did the same-they are worse than their own children, real nasty. dNo invites to birthday parties, no rsvp's to ours, etc - real iggnorant.

My son started medication the end of first grade, with the help of his teacher, a god send! He is now in 4th grade, straight A student, ahead of the school even, and has lost the label, but it was so unfair! I wish I could have put his report card in the newspaper for the other parents to drool over!

He even had a bully since kindergarten until this year because he went to the middle school -= kid is 3 years older than my son, ganged up on him last year with 5 others on school property, I yelled at them all when I found my son trying to pick him up, and I got in trouble, because they believed I was being mean to the bully who lied along with the others!

Your son is probably being teased, picked on and trying to defend himself with these words he is using. He needs to be evaluated and then decide on medication. It really saved my son's life, honestly!

Oh, and by the way, I have actually had to go to another drug store to fill my son's presciption because there are so many children in my town who are on Concerta, but the parent's deny it, and pretent that it's just my son!

Get your son evaluated, and post any questions/concerns when the results come in - your little guy needs your help. Kids can be brutal!

I really feel that my son will have the last laugh on all these people, both adult and chidren, because he is so smart, nice, kind hearted, and will definetely succeed in life!

Since my son went through his difficulties, those kids who he thought were his friends, have been sent to other schools, one to even find GOD, because they are such troubled children but their parents don't see it so they go to private schools as a way out! These kids even destroyed the boys' bathroom in second grade and tried to blame my son! Bad kids & bad parents!

Good luck and post and questions once the results are in!

Take care!

You must also be aware that untreated ADHD can cause many symptoms of other disorders as well....the child is struggling to cope, can't and that manifests itself in the anxiety, depression, etc... Medicating will help your son, but not the other kids that are teasing him and getting a kick out of getting him in trouble. Kids are mean, I have a 12 year old that was teased about his teeth in first grade(getting braces off this month and teeth are beautiful now) it took alot of telling him over and over to not react and just ignore the teasing kids. This does work after awhile because the kids eventually realize that they aren't getting the desired effect. I would write the principal a letter everytime your son is teased or bullied, own up to your son's reaction if it is wrong and but would not have happened if he wasn't provoked. Send a copy to the teacher also. Find out what the policy about teasing and bullying is. I know here that there is a zero tollerence for it and the schools actually loose money if there is teasing and bullying at school. Don't let the school put it off as kids will be kids. I believe our kids get pegged by kids and teacher's and are first to get in trouble while another student will not doing the same thing as ours.

I wish it were my son's teeth that he gets teased about! I could try to remedy that! He gets teased endlessly about his size (small). And the kids doing the teasing are generally only a tiny bit taller/bigger than he is! I have told him over and over to ignore, and failing that, have role played witty comebacks, but he seems unable to keep the ignoring up long enough for it to be effective. I have told Chase that they are only teasing him because they fear being small, and teasing someone smaller than they makes them feel "big".

He also has a strong sense of injustice and will call any peer on an unfair action, whether it was done against Chase or one of his playmates....can't let anything slide, and is often in tussles on the playground....he has an in school suspension to serve this week because of one last week....some other boy did not play by the rules in tag, and when Chase called him on it, he pushed Chase and a fight ensued....they both got in trouble, it was Chase's word against the other boy and the other boy did not admit he pushed first...

I almost cannot wait til next year when there will be no recess....(middle school)! Is that bad of me????

My 12 year old is small too. 70 pound wet. All natural no meds to impact his weight either. His Dad was a poster child for starving kids when young but now big. So maybe he'll grow some more. He always befriended the bigger kids in school. I think he got a bodyguard doing this. Middle school is nice without recess but has other downfalls. Mine is disorganized and am working to organize him which is an uphill battle. Yes I am already starting to worry about that aspect of middle school, but fortunately, my son's elementary school has the children switching classes from 3rd grade on....so he is somewhat accustomed to that...but I am sure that he will forever be leaving homework in his locker (probably in the wrong book) or at home....

You are all so helpful. My son is big and is actually doing the bullying sometimes. He doesn't do things to be mean but loves to tease and get the reaction. My 10 year old is opposite. Been bullied since Kindergarten and this year it finally stopped (4th grade) (same kid bullying him). So we fully understand the bullying and what occurs when teachers aren't looking, etc.

My 7 year old's teacher has had another teacher come observe him and another student when we first discussed the possibility of ADHD. He was held back in Kindergarten (same teacher) who saw him stabbing himself with a pencil from frustration of not being able to write. He is in a private school right now and he has the best teacher who really really cares about him. She is constantly trying to help him and the other kids not tease/or tattle on him. She is the person who requested that I process paperwork to see if he is ADHD only because she doesn't want him "lost" in school.

She says he is the sweetest kid when he wants to be. Very affectionate, very smart, extremely helpful but he can't focus on his work, goes haywire with actions for no reason, etc.

Thank you so much Bethann.

I am going to be a reck tomorrow I just know it. I have been through so much and know he has also. This teacher in 1st grade wrote me the nicest letter last week and everything is being worked out. Tomorrow we begin our whole evaluation process. I am very excited yet very nervous.

My son is very smart yet getting terrible grades in reading and writing. Loves math though but starting down that road to failure also. I want help so badly and want it now unfortunately I know that won't happen.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the support and kind words about being through the same thing. I know tomorrow parents will discuss and I will feel like I am not the only parent who deals with their child in this way.

I believe that by what you are doing, including posting here, you are PREVENTING all that happened to my from happening to yours.

There are a lot of people that believe in alternative methods, however, for my son, medication has been the best, as well as very safe! My son was always bright, however, people never saw that, they only saw the impulsive things he did and thought negatively about him.

I always said that once the letter grades began for him, he'd show them, and he did. Plus, he tells me he minds his business in school. He plays sports at recess with all the sport boys, they are in 4th grade, but nothing after school, except team sports with all the boys his age in town who play. This is all possible with the help of medication for my son. He is success with it, unsucessful without it.

Just post here with any thoughts, questions, anything! People respond, you'll see. It's great to have this place and everyone fit in, unlike our children in school.

I also send my husband over when necessary, the staff backs down from the father's but bully the mothers!

You may also want the school to do an evaluation on your son, you have to put the request in writing, very important. Then the school has so many business days to complete the evaluation. If he receives a IEP or 504, they will only help your son, even protect him in ways.

Hang in there!

Beth

[QUOTE=LEXXLUTHORE]I'M new to this whole thing myself. My son is also 7. I just go the news myself maybe an hour ago. I had a pretty good idea long before we went down this path. My son is a great kid. School is not so great for him . The teasing and everything else is making it hard for him to feel normal. I hope that your child can tough it out. MY advice is to pour on the love . Im sure your child is your pride and joy and would obey his parents if he were always capeable.My only remedy is to engross him in the things he likes.And to be envolved with everything that does keep his attention for a moment . Good luck to you . Be strong For your little angel[/QUOTE]

I too had to deal with my son being teased. He was immature or in their minds different. I also think the kids found a nice kid to pick on who wouldn't give it back because his mindset is different. He was find in kidergarten with the boys, but once he entered 1st grade, it all changed.

We started meds at the end of 1st grade and he is now in 4th grade doing great!

Once we began medicating him and found the right med & dosage, which took about 6 months, he changed. It did take several years, however, for the kids to forget, it's the adults who don't! I tend to believe that they are the ones that even set my son up for teasing because the adults labeled him!

May I ask, what are they picking on your son about? Maybe we here can help with how he can handle it at school, as well as personally since so many of us have been through it with our children!

I am an adult with ADHD and must say that i applaud all of you parents out there seeking help for your children. I am 24 years old and it took this long to finally be diagnosed with this. It started when I was 4 years old. My parents took me to get evaluated by some doctors. After weeks of testing and counseling, my parents were told that there was nothing wrong with me except that I was allergic to chocolate! They said that chocolate made me off the walls. Then when I was in first grade my teacher recommended that I get tested. She said there was "something" wrong with me that wasn't quite right. So the school paid for me to get evaluated. The results were normal. Those docs said that there was nothing wrong with me either. So I went on through grade school, then high school all with terrible grades. I just couldn't focus. In high school, I was involved in lots of activities, which I believe is the only thing that kept me together. I had to be very busy. But when it came to school work, I had all C's and D's. But all my teachers comments were "a joy to have in class". Math was the worst, I couldn't add numbers in my head. I had many, many tutors and nothing helped. Tests..forget it!! When my senior year arrived, I couldn't get into any colleges because of my grades. I ended up going to a community college and that didnt' last very long. I couldn't focus on the professors. I found myself daydreaming through classes. This all lead me to quit. I felt like the biggest failure. Nobody in my life ever questioned whether or not I had ADHD. I'm not sure if this is because when I was tested as a child, maybe they didn't even know what ADHD was? This was in the early 90's. So my point here is that perhaps if I was diagnosed sooner I could have enjoyed learning more and had a brighter future as far as college is concerned. Not complaining though, I married a wonderful man and have a beautiful baby now. Being on meds, everything is heading in a more positive direction!! So like I said, I applaud all of you for looking out for your children. You're helping them to become wonderful adults in this world!

missmom,

I am happy you found good treatment, even if it took so long.

The inattentive form of ADHD, is a lot harder to recognise (hyperactivity and impulsivity are irritating and cause people to question if something is wrong quicker). It is being identified more often now, thank goodness.

I'M new to this whole thing myself. My son is also 7. I just go the news myself maybe an hour ago. I had a pretty good idea long before we went down this path. My son is a great kid. School is not so great for him . The teasing and everything else is making it hard for him to feel normal. I hope that your child can tough it out. MY advice is to pour on the love . Im sure your child is your pride and joy and would obey his parents if he were always capeable.My only remedy is to engross him in the things he likes.And to be envolved with everything that does keep his attention for a moment . Good luck to you . Be strong For your little angelMy 6 yr old girl was recently diagnosed & we just started her on Adderall XR. It has made a big difference in her frustration at school, but her social skills are a lot slower at improving. She's very small (below 3rd percentile) & gets teased alot about it. We tried the ignore it route, which she doesn't do well, so we came up with "yeah, I'm short and sassy" which I don't know if that is a good response, but it made her feel better about being so small. She hasn't made any close friends in 1st grade, which breaks my heart. I know you other parents can relate. I was glad to hear how meds have helped your son so much, Bethann. Thanks for sharing. I'm still learning about ADHD, it seems overwhelming right now, but diagnosis was a relief actually. Has anyone had their child also diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder, and what has helped with that?

Meli, I responded to you not know you sent this one to me! I still stand by the help of a psychopharm. My son again is 9, but at the age of 7 he leveled off at 72mgs of concerta and is still there! I feel very comfortable doing what the doctor suggests as far as dosage level. It has SAVED my son's life as far as I'm concerned!

You know these adhd kids are really good kids, they just need a little assistance and once we all find "it", they do fine, even better than expected.

Keep us posted with your son, we are all very understanding, and there is so much knowledge on these boards, it is such a great place to "hang out!"

regards,

Beth

Bethann,

my son was on HDHD meds for two months (mind you we were not happy puting him on the drugs) then his concerta stoped working after six weeks, he also tryed adderall for two weeks but the side effects were hurendous! he would'nt eat or sleep he lost six lbs in those 2 mos. he got neck spasams, and headaches dizzyness and had to be moved up to the max dosage for his weight.

He also was worse when the meds wore of then when not on them! have you had and simmilar exsperiences? my son is 7 yrs old and about 50lbs. We are back to square one. I don't know what to do now.

The teachers love the new kid on drugs, but now its back to bad behavior. I've been reading up on these drugs and my findings are only making me hate them more and more.

I've found a new amino acid therpy with a fish oil supplement. but its only been one day, so no releif yet! HELP!!!

Thanks for such a quick response. I checked into the Tenex and see it is for HTN and am concerned about using a blood pressure medication on a child with a normal BP. How does it work and does it affect the BP much? I am thinking about trying the Ritalin again, I do not think I gave it a fair shot last year and am wondering how long it takes to see a difference and do the side effects of decreased appetite ever go away? On a positive note, my son came home with a great day sticker yesterday and was very proud of himself. The teacher modified his behavior plan, as I had requested many times, to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Now he gets rewarded with a stick for every 3 x's he raises his hand to ask a question as opposed to just speaking out (instead of getting a stick taken away whenever he interrupts). If he earns 5 sticks he gets a sticker of his choice (so he actually raised his hand 15 times yesterday!!!!). It had such a tremendous affect on his self-esteem to come home with something positive instead of negative. The teacher even extended recess time so he could play longer because he did not have any time outs. She even said children complimented him on how well he did. I am so excited about this. We are even going to start a tresure box at home and he is going to list rewards on pieces of paper and every time he earns 5 stickers in school he will get to pick a reward. It's amazing what a little positive can do to uplift everyone. Please let me know if anyone had anything else that has worked in the way of behavior modification and also any suggestions are welcome and appreciated. I have been researching everything for the past 1 1/2 and will leave no stone unturned. I look forward to being a part of this site. It has already been very helpful to me.

Sincerely,

Lauren

As I understand it, the dose given to children to augment the ADHD meds (or alone) is much lower than a dose to lower BP.

vickie is very knowledgeable on the meds and dosages, feel free to PM her, I am sure that she can explain it much better than I can.

i am so happy to hear that the teacher is trying the positive reinforcement and seeing such good results. Getting their little self esteems up there is half the battle!

Forgot to add... the appetite issue never went away until we added the periactin. It got much better, though lunch continued to be a small problem. Then when we switched to the ritalin LA and added the guanfacine, his appetite returned. I am not sure which one did the trick, but it does not matter! He is much happier on the ritalin LA, and I am too seeing it help him w/o affecting his appetite so severely, and him gaining weight. Each child is different and your son may do well on one that Chase did well on. It is a roller coaster. Wow, you are fast. Thank you for the information. I will certainly check more into it.

We just had testing in the school completed for my 7 year old son, also. This is the second time we have had him tested in a year. She said that he is very bright, but is not living up to his potential due to having to be constantly redirected to stay on task. Last year we tried him on Ritalin, Adderal and Focalin, but we took him off the meds because of the side effects. School desperately wants him to have an IEP and after doing much research and sitting down with the school psychologist to go over his testing, I think we need to follow that path. I also have spoken with my son's pediatrician who will review all the results and make recommendations. I am requesting an OT evaluation for Sensory Integration Disorder as well because my son gets very anxious with loud noises, when he thinks the twins (27 months old) are going to get his "stuff" or when he doesn't do well in school that day because he gets in trouble for talking, not listening, interrupting....He also has always had an aversion to certain types of clothing, smells and tags on his shirts, socks and shoes have to be "just right." I hope everything works out well with you. We are still in the beginning stages ourselves, but I know nothing is going to give us a quick result. I wish you the best and would encourage you to do as much research as possible in order to make an educated decision that is best for your son. In the long run, he is the only one that matters!

Lauren

lcmagic39115.2931597222

lcmagic

You may want to check into tenex/guanfacine for your son. It may be helpful for the talking, not listening, interrupting, and the anxiety that he exhibits. My son (and several other children on the boards) has been taking this med to augment the stimulants, but many chidren show marked success on the tenex alone.

It is not a stimulant drug, so the side effects are not an issue. It may be enough to "settle" your son so that he can focus on learning at school and be more comfortable at home.

If you have questions about it, feel free to PM me, I will try to help.