IS YOUR CHILD BEHIND IN MATURITY? | ADHD Information

My ds is 11 and prefers to play with younger kids. He always has. We went to a friend's place recently who has 3 daughters 10, 5 and almost 2.  We rarely see them. My ds had a ball with her 5 year old. Her 10 year old didn't even try to play with him. Ds is in a Learning and Life Skills class with kids up to Grade 6. He is currently one of the 2 oldest in the class. There are only 5 kids in his class. Ds likes to watch Dora the explorer and Big Comfy Couch. He will also watch Max and Ruby. Then again I like Max and Ruby.Yes, my dd is in 2nd grade, but has the maturity of a K or 1st grader.  Her sis, who is 16 months younger, is just the perfect age for her to play with.  That's great for now, but I look ahead to when she is 12 with the maturity of a 9-10 year old, then what?

My son is 9, in the fourth grade, and is immature in some ways for his age when it come to socialization, but it has gotten better! However, he is more mature with the academics in school. He is actually ahead of the school and a straight A student. He plays sports with the guys before school, recess, on team sports after school, however, no real friendship outside of school, which I noticed in others posts in regards to socialization and adhd.

I also feel his medication causes the focusing to be a hyperfocus and he doesn't join in with the "fooling" around in school as others do. He tells me he minds his own business. I also think that is from the medication and before meds. getting in trouble, so he has learned from that. 

[QUOTE=cr12345mr]Yes, my dd is in 2nd grade, but has the maturity of a K or 1st grader.  Her sis, who is 16 months younger, is just the perfect age for her to play with.  That's great for now, but I look ahead to when she is 12 with the maturity of a 9-10 year old, then what?[/QUOTE]

Yeah it kind of fries my noodle too.  Some of my son's friends are seven and while they were on the same level as him a year or so ago, they're now on seven year old level ... and he is not.  I'm hoping if we surround him with kids who are studious, etc, he will follow them to some extent,

It is common to hear that adhd kids are less mature than the norm.  The more I have thought about this today the more I see "maturity" as the broad category for the many different skill areas that challenge our kids...organization, social skills, time awareness, responsibility, impulsiveness, level of activity etc.  These are areas that people judge much age appropriate behavior.  So it follows that if our kids are weak in these areas, then their behavior may be viewed as immature. 

I chose to hold ds back in starting kdg because he had a fall birthday.  This was to his benefit being one of the older ones throughout school.  His maturity has often seemed closer that of his  brother who is three years his junior.  Intellectually though, ds is gifted and and has often had friends that were older.  As a high school senior, he can't wait to go to college and meet more people that are interested in the same things that he is interested in.  For the last six and  half years he has been in math classes with students three years older than himself, done well and was respected by classmates.  So although in some ways he is less "mature" in other ways he is more. 

IM KIND OF NEW AT THIS. I HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD DX WITH ADD, AND AN EMOTIONAL DISORDER (NOT SURE WHAT YET). SHE IS ON 20 MG ADDERALL AND 10 MG PROZAC. THE PROZAC REALLY HELPED IMMENSLY.

I WANTED TO ASK ALL OF YOU, IS YOUR CHILD BEHIND IN MATURITY? THE SCHOOL PSYCOLOGIST TOLD ME THAT MOST OF THESES KIDS ARE ABOUT 30% OR MORE BEHIND IN YEARS. SO MY DAUGHTER WHO IS 14 IS MORE LIKE A 10 YEAR OLD. I DO FIND THIS TO BE TRUE. HOW ABOUT YOU?

I GUESS THAT MEANS THAT THE ROAD WE TRAVEL WITH OUR KIDS MAY BE MUCH LONGER THAN ORIGINALLY EXPECTED

OH WELL, WE STILL HAVE EACHOTHER !

TAKE CARE, DEANNA

My son is 9 years old and is way behind in maturity. I've read a little here and there that this is common with children who are ADHD, ADD, ETC. My son lacks in maturity and sometimes I think it was due to his lack of social interaction or ability to interact appropriately with other children his age because of his issues. He was so disruptive during kindergarden and 1st grade other children avoided him, thus isolating him and denying him that interaction to help him mature. I also feel and have read that his condition interferes with his ability to read others reactions to his behaviors and appropriately respond to thier facial expressions and body language. He has improved so much within the last year but I am nervous about sending him to the next grade. I think he would do better staying behind in 4th grade so that he is more emotionally paired with younger kids. Any thoughts???

 

gretchen39088.3555439815

In many ways, my 10 year old is immature (social interactions, caring for herself), but she rises to the occassion when we really need her. Her dad has a heart condition and when he has symptoms, she stays with him and helps him. When I need to travel, she make sure all the animals are fed and watered. I still coach her on her interactions with others as though she were 7, but she seems to "get things" much better now that she is on meds.

She interacts better with younger kids and is caring and nurturing with them. The 2nd grade teacher suggestsed holding her back to be with younger kids, but this would have been a mistake in her case because she is intellegent and gets easily bored in school. She has been greatly improving her interactions with her peers this year so I can at least see that she will be fine (it will take extra work and coaching though).

vickie39088.3639699074My daughter is definetly behind and loves kids younger than her.  She is 7 and still can get obsessed over Dora the Explorer that she liked at age 4-5.  She is the queen of regression.

Yep. At age about 5, my son who is now 8 had friends his own age. Then it seemed like they kind of "left him behind".  He started playing with kids a year younger than him and we kept him back so that he started school a year late based on a psych report. I don't think this has done him any good.  He is VERY aware that he is older and won't even try anything now in case he fails and the younger kids look at him funny.

Some days he acts like an 8 year old (saying his cousin who is 5 is too young for him to play with) and then other days he is thinking on 5 - 6 year mentality again. 

I think we have to just be VERY patient.  Since keeping him back though I regret it.  Maybe being with the older kids would have allowed him to be less afraid of failure.

My stepson is 19 1/2 years old and acts more like a 12 year old. When I treat him like a 12 year old, he responds better than if I treat him like an adult. He has a low IQ, but doesn't qualify as retarded. We are just now realizing the extent of his disability. Unfortunately, he is considered an adult in the eyes of the law and we aren't able to help him like we could if he were younger. I don't think he will ever be able to live alone, get an apartment, balance a checkbook......He was fired from him job last week because he stole 0 from them (Wal-Mart). This may sound awful, but they didn't arrest him, just pressed charges and I BEGGED the police to arrest him! We just don't know what to do with him.