My son was 4 and we never have kept anything from him when he ask. However we don't talk about him having ad/hd all the time either. I truely think that we as adults have more of a problem with things than the kids do sometimes. My son's play therapist told me to not avoid if he brings something up but only state what needs to be stated to satisfy. As he matures and he starts questioning more then get more sophisticated as needed.
My son knows he takes medicine to help him and he knows that the doctor recommended a change in his diet. For the most part he is pretty good with all of this. Our nutritionist that the doctor had us work with told us to not deny him sweets. Let him be a kid. We just make healthier choices on a daily basis and he gets special treats at b-day parties and special occasions. Believe it or not he really doesn't care about sweets as much. I think it is a "learned" behavior just as it is for us as adults.
At 6 and 4.5, I don't see why you have to get very technical or detailed. Simply tell them that the doctor said...(whatever you want them to know; ie, dairy is bad for our family, sugar gums up your brain, etc. )...and that you will all be making some changes. As for the psychologist, I would just tell him that Dr. W is there for you all to talk to about how things are going and what's new. I would avoid pointing out any differences between the two of them or suggest to the 4.5 yo that he's got something wrong with him that requires a doctor. At a different time, as the opportunities arise, let them both know that many times people are different from one another in ways that don't show, like I like chocolate ice cream and you like vanilla. There is a cute book called a walk in the rain with a brain... this basically talks about how all brains are smart and that they are all different.My son is 4.5 yrs. How do I explain this diagnosis, the need for a resticted diet (no dairy and sugar) and why he sees Dr. W. (his psychologist)? Also how do I explain this to his sister who is 14 mos older than he?
I basically talked to my child and pointed out how she has difficulties with this that and the other and explained to her what she had and that is the way she was born and nothing wrong with that. I tell her everyone is different and that is what makes her special. I also did get a book to help talk to her about it which I cannot find right now.