Conversation | ADHD Information
I posted this poem in the relationships board, but thought I would post it here too for parents to see from the perspective of an adhder. He wrote it at for a writing class last summer. Altho the perspective might be similar from other high school students and myself at times too, this is from my son, 18, hs senior, adhd/LD in reading and language, dysgraphic and gifted. Altho he shines in some areas, and does well in controlled situations like classroom discussions, social interaction is an area of weakness.Conversation
Sometimes, I feel trapped under a frozen lake,
Observing aquaintences above in heated discussion,
Oblivious to my struggle beneath the ice.
Treading the freezing water reveals only apathetic dialogue,
So in my contemplative silence and bitter solitude,
I chisel my icy ceiling with meek phrases of amity.
Alas, my words sink empty and unnoticed.
Haunted by failed attempts at conversation,
I drift away searching for lost friends.
That is truly beautiful! It seems that they all have that social problem, feeling that they just don't fit in. Do you think it is more within themselves feeling that way or is it that they aren't accepted?
My son is only 9, plays sports at recess but nothing after school. We keep him in sports every season so there is that social interaction. I deep in side hopes when he is older that there is after school/weekend social stuff, but there may not be.
Is your son going to college? He is quite talented. I hope he finds a nice girl, if he hasn't yet, and lives happily ever after. He is too sensitive and caring, I got that from his poem, not too!
You are blessed with a wonderful son!
"Do you think it is more within themselves feeling that way or is it that they aren't accepted?"
I think it is a very clear and accurate description of him at times. In group settings of more than a few people, he has generally been on the perimeter, more of an observer. I think it takes him longer to organize his thoughts linguistically than others. To answer your question, I think it is more feeling and functioning that way which contributes to less interaction and less likelihood that someone will seek him out.
Like your son, ds has been involved with sports and until about tenth grade or so, hung out with the neighborhood boys and things seemed fine. Then interests became more defined and they slowly stopped seeing each other. Last year he made a consciencious effort to become more social and participated in clubs at school. A few times he has gotten together with other boys to play music, but for the most part he has friends at school, but isn't socially active on the weekends or after school unless it meets a specific purpose for his own needs. He loves being at home, doing things with his brother and family and playing the piano.
He says he is looking forward to going to college and meeting more people that are interested in the same things he likes. (Not many kids in high school do linear algebra for fun or play blues style of music.) He has applied to several small liberal arts colleges and has heard back from two with acceptances and one of those offered a nice scholarship. So he is feeling pretty good about that.
Thank you both
I am always surprised and blessed when my son, who I call "Mr. Oblivious" says or writes something so insightful like your son has. What a wonderful kid you're raising!