Relationships | ADHD Information

I thought it was just me.

I was married for 29 years but not happily. I'm too active, too busy, too hyper, too many projects, too sensitive to other people. I'm intense and ambitious and no one wants to keep up with that. I've learned not to talk at all and I hate small talk but I love people. I love their ideas and to learn new things and I read body language so I empathize with everyone. I love people so I worked at this and I found that I can listen to them if I concentrate not on the words but on the tone of voice, which can be soothing, and the new ideas, because I like to learn. Mostly, I think that the right person will fit you even without your meds. My daughter just found an ADHD man who is very sensitive and kind and caring and she gladly accepts the fact that he can't remember that he was looking for his shoes twenty minutes after she's ready to get in the car. She takes his shoes to him and says, "I love you for other reasons". You'll find that if you wait for it instead of trying to blame yourself because you don't match most women. Just explain up front that you are ADHD so she won't wonder what's wrong with her that makes you fade out. Most women blame themselves for not being able to hold your attention.

I can really hear where you are common from...because I am also like that as well...anyways ya I should go here now so take er easy byesI know that I blame myself for not being able to have a bf for quite sometime but hey oh well...being single has its advantages...teasing the guys are fun...lolHey folks,

I'm wondering about relationships, both intimate and non. I have a really hard time with relationships with everyone. I have lost contact with pretty much all the friends I have ever had and girls are another matter altogether. I've spent so many years not keeping girls interested that I can't even aproach women anymore (though they still aproach me, they get bored rather quick).

As far as information about romantic relationships, I see tonnes of info but it's almost exclusively about staying in the already present relationship and rarely about starting one.

I just can't pay attention to people long enough to keep them around and I think they often even feel that I don't like them because I never remember anything important. I'm lost.

I don't think I'm all that bad of a guy. I am extremely well traveled, play guitar, love romantic movies (and most of the guys I know hate them, some won't even sit through them with their girlfriends). I don't think I'm all that bad looking as I catch women looking at me and they aproach me randomly and strike up a conversation. I even know the meaning of alot of flowers, not just that they are pretty. I love kids and get along with them superbly (and they almost always like me right off the bat). Same with animals, they trust me more than many people I have met. I'm also not that interested in sports and would much rather sit around and cuddle in front of the tv, fireplace, etc (I'm a little older and the hyperactivity isn't as bad anymore if there is something interesting to keep me occupied and my hands get to fiddle with something). Am I not manly enough?

It's the attention thing. I just can't listen for long periods of time. It's the same with male friends (though they don't need anywhere near the attention girls seem to need, I just can give any). I have a hard time making and keeping any friends and it is quite depressing.

Just wondering if there are others in the same boat?PS: I just got diagnosed and am not on any sort of medication. Does that help? I have tried a few of the medications and they help with concentration immensly on school work and such but do they help with relationships?Can't help you there I was a mess without meds. Doing better on them but I don't do relationships. I'm just not into people really. I only keep friends around for about 4 years until I get bored and then just swap them out for a new group. People are too emotional and I can't stand that. I don't have emotions really so I don't relate well when people start talking about feelings or expect me to pick up on clues as to how they are feeling. If I hang out with people I want it to be light and fun. Once they start getting serious or clingy I move on.

mattm do you talk incessently?  That can be a bit of a turn off! Especially if you are constantly talking about yourself.

You sound like a good catch to me.  Miss right will come along one day.

I have trouble listening to people too - and have been told off about it by my friends through my life.  And it hurts when they tell us that because we dont mean to not listen.

As you get older, and your peers get older, women tend to become a little more less weird.  Their preferences change, and you may find that they enjoy you a little more.

Young women can be really cruel, mean and really not worth it sometimes.  Perhaps you could consider an older woman.  (hey they are all options! ). 

Perhaps young women bore you, and cant keep your attention. 

Also, you would probably make a great partner for a single mum, because if you find you can relate to the kids, you will be a great choice for her!

Think outside the square and keep your options open!

Rae

When my friend started his medication he went from having no social skills at all, to being easy to be around and he started likeing himself better as well... and that might be the most important thing before starting any kind of relationships. People who doesen't like themselves, sometimes gives that feeling to the people around.
When it comes to myself, I also have a very hard time keeping any boyfriends, but mostly because I get bored very easily. I fall in love so quickly, but the feeling it's gone after a very short time, and then I can't stand being around the person any more at all.
Have you ever been in love? Did it end because you stopped loving her og because she walked out on you?Maybe things will get easier if you start being happy about whom you are?I am...just recently my bf called and we haven't talked for a while so I thought ok its over and I moved on...but he didn't and I don't understand him...there are days when we can talk for 4 hours and now we can only talk for 3 mins...that was when we were together..and now he wants me back...I am thinking no but he is such a cutie....so matt I am kinda the same way as u are...can't keep a steady releationship with anybody never mind wit guys....so anyways I know that this makes no sense..lol...peace out...luvs Neld