I'm afraid they don't make medication to treat iresponsibility or lying. The only known cure for those ailments can be found in every home where this illness exists. Its called love. I don't mean the "oh, its ok jr, we won't make you be responsible or kick you out of the house"... I mean the love that says "Look jr, we know how happy you are living here and how important it is to you that you watch tv and play on the computer, but we're worried sick. Sure, your ok now.. but how about when we're not here anymore to supply your toys, food, clothing and shelter? You know, if your dad and I had lived like you do.. we would all be sitting on crates eating leftovers from the neighbor's trash can".
You can be over protective out of love, and to shield him from the realities of life is to insure he will be unable to handle it. I'll bet a good portion of the people on welfare had over protective parents. (why in the hell do I feel like dr phil) uh, oh.. He is lying to cover himself because he knows what he supposed to be doing and if you allow him to manipulate ma & pa with lies, you will fortify his character to become a pimple on the ass of society.
Your anxiety? Your torn because you know what you have to do. You have to make him grow up from a 10 year old boy to a man right now, and that may be partly your fault for allowing him to be your little boy for too long. The longer you put off taking the action to help your son grow up, the longer you will suffer anxiety. You can take a pill for anxiety, but it won't fix the source of it. He'll still be there, lying and playing. Here is how I would handle it;
Son, I'm gonna help you get set up on your own. First, you need a job. Here are some leads to check out, if you don't like them,. find your own. You are moving out next month. If you haven't found work yet, heres a list of homeless shelters that will put you up till you get on your feet. Don't cry or give me that "you don't love me anymore" crap. Look what my love has done for you so far... made you lazy and dishonest. Now I'm gonna love you so hard you'll even learn to love yourself.
I am the mom of a 21 year old who has had many jobs in the past 9 months and has told many lies about looking for work. Last job lost right before holidays was the end and the beginning. To stay living with us he had to agree to go to counseling. He was diagnosed with adult ADD, has started medication and is continuing to see a counselor. In November, when I found out he was lying about job interviews, I started having anxiety attacks. He currently is not working, won't work fast food and seems very happy at home watching TV, being on the computer and playing video games. Our house is very tense. Husbands thinks we should make him move out and I don't know how to do that since he has NO money. Do we be patient and let him get settled on the meds, do we put deadlines for job or else?? I hate feeling anxious all the time.
It would be great to chat with someone who could help me with all the anxiety.
What do we do to get him working?
How do we know if the meds are working?