Refusing to do math homework | ADHD Information

Anyone know of good free online games?

 

[QUOTE=Jillette]She does struggle with math she knows the concept however it takes her longer using fingers or the number line they taught them to use.  The teacher wants us to work on flashcards for her to memorize the simple adding and subtracting with what time?  I work full time and after work it is homework time, dinner time cannot cook and have her work independently, then there is bath time, reading time, vocabulary time, bedtime.  Then mommy needs a quaalude time ha ha you get the idea.  On weekends it is clean house and laundry time and mommy wants to veg time but we try.  I got her math Bingo. [/QUOTE]

Absolutely!!!!  The teacher has been saying since first grade to practice math facts, (she's in 3rd) but how to find the time, especially when it takes her so much longer to do homework than other kids?  No one can work on school stuff that many hours in a day! Now we're hitting multiplication and division, while she still is tallying up and counting her tallies to get her subtraction facts.  When we do flashcards it just doesn't seem to sink in.  She has SUCH a mindset that she can't do math that I think she's convincing herself even if she wasn't having trouble. I'm so frustrated I could cry, and often do!  We're having her evaluated at a university - a pretty comprehensive eval it sounds like.  Hopefully that will give us some ideas.

I am proud you stuck to your guns and she did it... yeah!!!

I have the same situation but with reading and spelling with my son

one my daughter really liked was TIMEZATTACK it is a free download for multiplication.Mind you she only got one sheet to do 11 problems to do that she did not get done during the week.  She rarely gets homework now on weekends since meds began.  A  little background she hates math and is struggling with it to the point she does not care.  She ran to her room today when I tried to help her and is trying to hide there and is very defiant today so the punishment I laid out is she has to stay there and only come out to use the bathroom and for dinner.  I even told her after dinner she is to go to bed afterwards and am giving her no attention at all and this has been going on now for 4 hours and she does not seem to care.  I told her I am writing a note for the teacher that she refused to do the work and what the consequences were.  I am leaving it open if she comes out and announces she will do the work that she can.

  What do you do when she does not care and consequences do not bother her?  I am going crazy.
Could it be that she doesn't understand the math and is lashing out in frustration?  I know we have had similar experiences with our daughter.  While she isn't defiant, she would hide homework so she wouldn't have to do it.  When we asked her why she would cry and say because she felt "stupid".Stick to your guns and see what she does. [QUOTE=Lostinthedark]Stick to your guns and see what she does. [/QUOTE]



*She came out of her bedroom and announced she was bored and said she was ready to do her math work.  She is doing the math with her father now as I type and by doing her work she can now have privilages back and not go to bed after dinner.

  As for problems she is gettting some help with it and she was able to complete it no problems.

[QUOTE=Jillette]  What do you do when she does not care and consequences do not bother her?  I am going crazy.
[/QUOTE]

Man how I wish I had the answer to that!! I swear that is the million dollar question in our house too.  I have always said it is so difficult to parent my DD, because she has absolutely NO REGARD to ANY consequences.  When she was younger (she just turned 11), I always thought when she got older and there was more that we could take away like sleepovers, playdates, skating parties, etc. it would be easier, but it hasn't appeared to help at all.  She wants to make her own rules, and that's all there is to it.    We have even tried letting her face more natural consequences and she seems not to care about that either.   It does make you insane!!  Just stick with it Jillette, I know you do.  Try not to let her know she gets to you either.  I think that part is important.

Sounds like plain old frustration? She can do the math, but is it hard for her? Is it taking lots of energy?

I agree... it sounds like frustration .  

 I find with many of our students,if they are acting out in some form,  it is often a child that is experiencing difficulties processing the task.  You may of mentioned this before but does she have a learning disability in math? If you don't know it might be time to look into testing.  I think you mentioned your daughter is in 2nd grade.  This is a tough year for many children.  This is usually when you can get the help needed from the schools for the child.  Test will find the discrepancy needed to get children the help they need generally starting 2nd grade.  We test very few earlier than 2nd because you don't get the discrepancy needed based off state criteria.

I know it must be frustrating.  I wish you and your daughter the best in finding what will help her the most.    It sounds like she wants to do it, but just is very anxious or frustrated. 

Jillette,

I've been thinking a long time about the difficulty in finding time for another homework activity.  I also remember my mom doing flashcards with me.  I hated it. There were just too many numbers and too many cards.  Everyone learns in a different way and for those reluctant learners a method needs to be found that they enjoy. 

I also have a son (nonadd) that has never liked math, yet in 6th grade the school was trying to decide whether to skip him one or two years in math.  I suggested just one because he didn't like math)  Even when he was in preschool, he refused to have anything to do with numbers or counting on fingers. 

This dislike continued for years, altho he was a good problem solver with concrete objects..logic stuff.  From preschool through 6th grade, I continued to do incidental math with him and sneak it in through games, activities (cooking is great), songs, blocks, Legos are great, and even some flashcard problems.  But I'd only let him do the flashcards of problems he already knew and then add one or two new ones.  In the car we would play "How many?"  as I would hold up my hand  with fingers for him to count.  Actually it was just a split second to see it and identify how many fingers I was holding up, but he loved the surprise and challenge to identify something quickly.  (we did math facts this way too)

In practicing math facts I was always careful to give him drill on combinations that he knew well so that he would feel the success and slowly add another element.  In fifth and sixth grade I would discuss new math concepts while we were driving somewhere.  Yes it was slow, and for the most part it seemed incidental to him,  but it paid off.  Now he says, "I don't get it...I really don't like math , but I'm good at it."
jfla239105.0780324074Jillette you may want to try a computer program like math blaster or a video that reviews the facts.  My DS loves to play math blaster

Oy!  DS is much the same.  He got 100 on his state-mandated standardized test in reading;  30 in math.

 

Not sure what to do.  Just want to commiserate. We're in the same boat. *sigh*

She does struggle with math she knows the concept however it takes her longer using fingers or the number line they taught them to use.  The teacher wants us to work on flashcards for her to memorize the simple adding and subtracting with what time?  I work full time and after work it is homework time, dinner time cannot cook and have her work independently, then there is bath time, reading time, vocabulary time, bedtime.  Then mommy needs a quaalude time ha ha you get the idea.  On weekends it is clean house and laundry time and mommy wants to veg time but we try.  I got her math Bingo. I just wanted to mention that when my son runs into a math concept that he does not get his behavior is atrocious when doing math homework. He tries to refuse to do it, cries, drags it out, says he hates math, puts his head on the table, launches into major avoidance behavior, etc. He is capable of doing it when pushed, but it takes lots of energy. I interpret this as major overwhelm and frustration, not defiance. It's my cue that I need to practice the concept every night, beyond the scope of the homework. I tell him that once he really gets it things will be easier for him in class, and he buys into that line of thinking. And once he gets it I stop hearing the "I hate math" "I hate school" comments.

[QUOTE=NoTellin]I just wanted to mention that when my son runs into a math concept that he does not get his behavior is atrocious when doing math homework. He tries to refuse to do it, cries, drags it out, says he hates math, puts his head on the table, launches into major avoidance behavior, etc. He is capable of doing it when pushed, but it takes lots of energy. I interpret this as major overwhelm and frustration, not defiance. It's my cue that I need to practice the concept every night, beyond the scope of the homework. I tell him that once he really gets it things will be easier for him in class, and he buys into that line of thinking. And once he gets it I stop hearing the "I hate math" "I hate school" comments.[/QUOTE]

Man, that was our house tonight!! It wasn't homework, I was going through his bag for something else and out popped a worksheet they did today.  Teach wasn't there and they had substitution so I guess it's not the be all and end all but I took a look at this worksheet and freaked. He is in second grade, had answers like 10 - 4 = 11, 10 + 4 = 2, etc!  I KNOW he can do these things and I felt like I was going nuts.

And I said he had to do it again.  Well.  He hid in the garden, ran to my moms's house, screamed the roof down, jumped on the couch, went to granny's again ... So we retrieved him from my mom's house (twice) gave him a glass of milk and I sat him down and asked about this ... turns out he was pushed for time and decided to just fill in numbers in every block so he could finish in time ... without even looking at the sums ... I tell you I FEEL my hair turning grey.  Anyway so I explained to him how this is not doing him any favours in the eyes of the teacher and how if they look at those answers they're just gonna think something's wrong and he can't do it.  He did them - and he can do it.  Patience ....

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My take on it is that she is frustrated and overwhelmed, not defiant.  Sounds like math is hard for her and she'd rather take the punishment or see if you'll change your mind .   I'm probably in the minority here, but I'd just bag the math homework for now.  It's not worth it.

 
cr12345mr39104.5936458333Has she had math tutoring?  Not you, someone outside your home.  A friend, a college student, Sylvan, anyone but you.  Once she feels like she understands it, it may not be so distasteful.  We have a place where we live called "Mathnasium" and the only thing they do is tutor math.  It's helped ds a lot and they've even coached him in test taking stratagies.  Look into it, it may help.
Oh yes, that reminds me, we have some math games on the computer.  DD really enjoys doing the PRESCHOOL ones!   I say "You go girl" because at least she is enjoying the math and reinforcing some skills.