While you are in the diagnostic process, make sure they evaluate her for giftedness.
My son tested gifted, plus has ADHD and anxiety. He has very peculiar interests and doesn't relate to other kids socially the same way other kids do, yet he isn't high functioning autistic... which is the first thing that comes to mind when someone makes a comment about avoiding eye contact.
Also have her evaluated by a qualified speech language pathologist to rule out any language processing disorders...either receptive or expressive language disorders. We also had an audiologist who specialized in auditory processing disorders do an extensive evaluation....and yes, my son ended up being gifted, with co existing speech/language deficits and auditory processing deficits on TOP of the ADHD/Anxiety. It was almost inevitable for my son that anxiety would also show up...and it did. Trying to cope in school when you have a combination of these challenges is very difficult, but with the right help....a child can and will succeed!
Okiemom
My 7 yr old son also has auditory processing disorder w/adhd mostly inattentive type. The combination is really playing havoc with his learning to read and write. He also is very particular about the way things are said relating to context and content. He always corrects me and everyone else in the family (especially his younger brother) when we don't say exactly what we mean or if there is more than one interpretation of what is said. He was tested for educational purposes last spring and the results of the intelligence tests were average/above average but the psychologist said he was most likely above average but due to the lag in his reading/writing the test was not as accurrate as it could have been. My son's expresssive speech tested high as well as his logical reasoning capabilities. This particular combination makes for a very exasperating experience and I have to be very careful to not fall into the debate trap! He can also tune out in settings with other kids if he's not interested in what they're doing. I'm still learning about all of the quirks that my son has, but being able to see that others are experiencing the same types of things helps to calm my nerves. I don't even pretend to understand all of the different diagnosis out there, I try to be very specific in finding out what I can do that will help my child and what will help those dealing with him (teachers) better understand how to help him. I wing it a lot of the time!
ham, I think that some of what you describe is just normal behavior. My sons both correct us all the time, but we've realized that our whole family does it and we've begun making a concerted effort to stop. As for the friends thing, when you put more that two children together, you risk one being left out as the others get together and make decisions. It's just the nature of the beast that kids work out pecking order. The fact that your daughter would rather do her own thing rather than do what they want to do isn't necessarily a bad thing. At least she's not a blind follower!! I hope you are having a full evaluation done and not just the teacher/parent questionaires. They will IQ test her and get a better idea of what's going on with her. Good luck!Thanks for all the feedback. Some of my thoughts are wondering about possible giftedness, but when all of the sudden these "red flags" started popping up, I freaked - thinking something along the Aspergers line. I feel better knowing it's probably not that, but hopefully the full evaluation will give us some answers, whether they're the ones we want or not.We've been going through the diagnosis process with dd. As they ask all these questions, I've observed things I never considered before. I know many of you are much more familiar with ADHD and other conditions than I am. She is 8 years old. Do these fit with anything?:
-teachers report that she may "have a peculiar way of relating to others, avoiding eye contact, using facial expressions or gestures etc." (I was totally unaware of this until receiving the doctors report! I really have not observed this myself but they see her amidst many others her age.)
-we have many arguments that I "told" her to do something, but she said I didn't tell, her I just suggested it. (When I use wording such as "Why don't you start your homework." or "You should go brush your teeth.")
-having friends over recently, I observed her (3 times!) reading a book while her friends played with each other
-if I say something not EXACTLY right, like "Go put your sisters doll in her cradle" she makes a big deal of it "It's not HER cradle, it's OUR cradle." She often corrects people - especially adults - for little mistakes like this. Drives me nuts!
All of these things have just hit a new level of awareness for me this week. I know what I'm thinking, and want to know if I'm on the right track, or if this is part of the ADD she was just diagnosed with.
It almost sounds to me like she is just particular. Have you had her IQ done? Could be she is above average with intelligence. The specifics with verbal issues and the non interest in children her age really points to something of that sort.
What are her interests?