I am so mad at the teacher I could scream | ADHD Information

When ds's first grade teacher told me that he needed to be on meds, dh was so angry he called the district office and talked to an assistant superintendant.  He asked the guy to tell him where this teacher got her medical degree.  Then he said that he wanted ds to be switched over to a school ds went to before district lines changed in our neighborhood.  We got that.  I don't know, but I think that teacher got into trouble.  I know that parent-teacher relationships are important to nurture and I know that I try to put up with the occasional stupidity in order to facilitate results, but sometimes you just gotta go to war.  If it's time to do that, then try the district office.  If not, tell the teacher that next week will be med free so you can prove her intriguing theory.  I'll bet she screams "uncle!" by Wednesday.  The only time I went up against my MIL (usually it's not worth the energy) was when she said the same thing.  I told her that the subject wasn't up for discussion and left the house to wait in the car.

When we increased my son's dose of Concerta to 54mg right away I noticed that he wasn't in the fridge every 5 seconds like he used to be!  I find that he usually eats a big bowl of cereal before catching the bus,  he never usually eats a very good dinner and then by around 8pm or so he becomes ravenous!!!  He wants to eat and eat so......I let him.  I make sure I have alot of yogurt and healthy snacks on hand for those times so that if he IS going to eat at that time, it's not junk.  He is already tall and very lanky so I don't want him to start slipping down the weight growth chart.....so when he isn't hungry I don't push him because I know that eventually towards evening he will be ready to eat.  PB&J sandwiches, yogurt, fruit snacks, veggies........things like that. That seems to work best for him,  but I do know during the day he isn't nearly as hungry as he should be being a growing 13 year old boy!  But we deal with it the way it works.....good luck!!

Robyn, Mom to Alex 13 ADHD and wants to grow up to be like Jim Carrey

 

I have been frustrated with my ds teacher since the beginning of school, but now she has really got my goat.  We are having problems with his meds and they need to be changed.  She called me last Thursday night.  I called his dr first thing Friday morning, but he will be out until Tuesday.  He will return a call then.  I volunteer in ds classroom every Tuesday morning.  I talked to the teacher briefly about his morning and she said it was awful.  Then she went on to say that she thinks the meds are causing the behavior.  First off when and where did she get her medical degree.  Second, I have explained to her several times what his behavior was like before meds and when the meds where off.  The behavior she is reporting is the same that we saw before meds.  Now she wants to tell me that the meds are causing his behavior oooh please.  My dh said oh well if that's  her opinion maybe we should stop meds for one week and send him to school and let her get the full picture of our ds without meds then maybe she wouldn't say the meds are to blame  .  As common as ADHD is I would think that teacher's should have to take a course in how to handle these kids.  I get so frustrated with her lack of knowledge.  Sorry just had to vent!!!

I would say do it!  Take him off the meds and send him.  Don't tell her.  Then inquire on his behavior...when she reiterates that she thinks the meds are causing the behaviors, tell her just how long he has been med free.  Then tell her that you would like her to stick to teaching and you will let the doctor work on the med issue!

I think you should take him off and see what happens.  Just like the others suggested.  If he has been on this med for a while it may have stopped working, maybe he is ready for an increase or a different med.  Also adding Tenex is a good idea if you think his ADHD meds are working.

 

Oh My Gosh......I feel your pain!!!!  It seems that these  teachers are not only teachers but PHYSICIANS who know exactly what these sweet ADHD kids need!!!  My sons teachers were constantly telling me that his meds "were not working", "were not strong enough", "he's not taking them, "they need to be changed".......all during the time when he was really struggling (he is in 7th grade).  What 7th grader DOESN'T struggle???  And then add hormones, peer pressure AND ADHD to the mix and what do you get???  I find it extrememly RUDE that these teachers have ANY PLACE to say what these kids need or don't need when it comes to meds.  I even had one of my sons teachers actually email me and say "I usually don't believe in meds,  but I definately think that your son is one of the few that really NEEDS to be on them".....whattttt?????  I don't believe in meds????  Wow......I'm not surprised that I'm not the only one that has heard this....I feel for you and your DS.  These poor kids.....they need SUPPORT from the teachers, not to feel that the teachers and staff are against them.  They feel different enough as it is......why do they have to make it worse??  I also find it interesting that the phone calls, the emails, the notes only seem to come when the behavior is BAD....how about the GOOD DAYS?????  How many of you hear about the good days, the good behavior, the good grades??  I know I sure don't..........it's so disheartening.  God bless all of you........stay strong,  we have to for our children!

Robyn, Mom to my sweet ADHD 13 yo DS

I agree with chasesmom79. Take him off the meds. Otherwise, she'll never let up. I also think that the teacher should have a week of "baseline" behavior off meds for future comparison. Have you looked into adding guanfacine (Tenex) to the ADHD med?Unfortunately, it seems that most teachers really aren't educated about ADHD.  She was probably offering her $.02 with the best of intentions, yet obviously uninformed.  Try to be patient with her as best you can!  Good Luck

I think that it is a rule for my district for ADHD to not even be brought up by the teachers, or maybe Chase's 4th grade teacher just has had parents over the years get upset, but I know one thing....it was never mentioned to me until I brought it up.  I could see the relief in the teacher's face, and she set right to telling me what my next step should be as far as the school psychologist should be.

She was supportive and helpful through the whole process and Chase's biggest cheerleader the whole time....he loves her to death, and still says he would be lost if she "hadn't talked mom into getting me help".  She didn't do anything of the sort, but he thinks so, and runs to her the minute he is set free with his grade cards...she gets to see them before me even!  He hugs her in the hallway and wrote her a note saying he wanted his kids to be taught by her...

I never realized she was so special until I began reading all of the teacher horror stories here....

I really think that you should go over her head, and if that gets you nowhere, then send him in med free....like someone else said, she will cry uncle by wednesday!

I actually am lucky..Chase is not hyperactive,just inattentive, and the teachers all really like him.  I had to convince his homeroom teacher that he was actually ADHD, he kept saying, "but he does so well academically, he is not a behavior problem, he is such a good boy!"  I told him to talk to the 4th grade (last years) teachers if he didn't believe me about how he was OFF meds..

But you are right, the only time you hear from them is when the child messes up.....except at conference time...

If you son can handle a week off meds, I agree, do it.  BUT...send a note the first day stating "I decided to take YOUR advice.  So and So will not be on his medication this week so that we can determine if it is causing a problem".  Then, after that week of disaster, call a conference with the teacher AND the principle and explain just how unprofessional her behavior was.

I don't think a week off would be a bad idea, as long as the teacher knows what's going on so that she can cut him some slack when/if he gets crazy or off-task.  I would also let the principal and school counselor know, so that if there are any problems, you don't get the "your son is a huge problem, can't you control your kid" call.  I would also try to have some coping mechanisms in place, an escape clause for your boy, if you will.  Something like a calm space that he can go to if he needs to, BUT NOT AS A PUNISHMENT FROM THE TEACHER. This was her idea, after all, so she should deal with the consequences, just like they tell kids.

How old is your son?  Has been on treatment long?  It may be that he's ready to give up the meds and use other methods to manage his adhd. Good luck!!  

I remember when our DS's teacher last year said "his medication is not working at all." I just thought, Oh, yeah? It's working all right. Wanna see him OFF it? HAhahahaha!

We didn't take him off it during the school year, but we did take him out of school this year to homeschool!

 

I don't think that I could handle him off the meds for one day more less one week.  When we took him to the pshchiatrist I went in with this mentality.  If they don't medicate him they need to medicate me because I just can't live like this a momment longer  .  I had a long talk with his dr and he did change his meds to a stronger dose and a longer lasting type.  We got a note home that today was a good day, but he didn't eat much lunch.   Hummmm, if it's the meds that are causing the behavior how come a new stronger dose would change is behavior for the better??? 

We started the meds 1 week after school started.  So the teacher didn't really get to see him without the meds.  The first week is so new for kids getting adjusted etc. that my ds didn't show his true self.  Now that we are at almost day 100 he true self is coming through.  I had to struggle to get the teacher to realize that he really does need a behavior plan, etc.  Well now she sees my  point.

I just got so angry whether it is his teacher or my parents telling me what is best for my ds.  I am a grown adult and my dh and our dr will make what we feel are the best decisions for my ds.

I think it would just take some common sense to think about what your about to say to a parent before you say it.  Unless you have lived it don't offer unfounded advice.

Well said! 

The appetite suppressant is quite common, and at the higher doses, more likely to occur.  I will go and get the link for the post on appetite problems...it is full of helpful hints and advice...

Here you go!

Hope this helps....

http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=25130& PN=2