11yr old son with ADD | ADHD Information

Hi! My son is diagnosed with ADD, he is not on medication, I don't know what to do to help him, I tried talking to him, I tried with charts to keep him organised, but it seems that what ever I do is not working. He dosen't listen to me, I have to repeat myself tons of times, he teases his sister, because he is not intersted in nothing, he just likes being distructive and dismantling his toys etc.. to do something it takes him ages. Even at school he is not doing very well. Please if someone is went through this situation will you help me out.

Hi Lizzy32, may I ask why won't you try medication?

My son is 9 and was diagnosed right at 5. We did NOT medicate and it was a big mistake for my son. He paid the price at school and socially. He was labeled, in the principals office for impulsive things, etc.

We started medications at the end of first grade, with the help of his teacher. During the summer going into second, we started going to a doctor specializing in medicine, a psychpharmacologist, and began medication closely watched by the specialist. It took 6 months but we found the right medication and right dosage.

My son is an A/B student, ahead of the school's expectations in Math and Science, plays sports each season and is working on "shaking" his label, because believe me, my son was labeled by both the students and the staff at school.

I think your son would become successful if you would try medication. I feel bad that he is suffering when there IS help for him.

Please feel free to ask ANY questions. We are here to help your son and you!!

Beth

Hi! Beth, Thanks for replying. I read so many bad things about medication for ADD and the side effects that come with it. I know that my son with help he will do well in school and socialy. But I am so scared to go to the specialist I was refered to and he will prescribe him medication.

You need to keep in mind that the bad things associated with ADHD meds are often inflated and for some reason receive much more press than the good things....

Go to the meds board, read the parents board, and see for yourself from parents taht are living it how much good these meds can do for a struggling child.

Many times the reason for the destructive behavior is the frustration levels of tring so hard to cope in school.  The problems lead to poor self esteem, depression, and anxiety in addition to the poor grades.

Once treatment is in place, the grades are often not the only thing to improve.  Self esteem is higher, the child is less frustrated, and happier, so  destructive behaviors disappear.

Please Lizzy32 for the sake of your son, go to the specialist that you were recommended! There is os much bogous stuff out here negative about meds from people who don't even need them, that others suffer because they listen to them!

Your poor son, please help him!

and again, ask any questions, we all have a lot of information about our children and these medications!!

Believe me, once you find the right one and right dosage for your son, both he and you will be happier!!

You might talk to the specialist and see how comfortable you are with him. Finding the best med and dose for a individual's needs can take time and be a tough road. It is best to have a good partner in the prescribing physician during this time. Also once puberty comes, things may need to be adjusted again.

You will need to educate yourself on adhd and meds to be an active part of your child's treatment. You should be applauded for taking the first step in the education process (by taking the time to read and ask questions). You will find lots of support and help at this site, wherever this journey leads you and your son.

My daughter went from school failure, defiance, anxiety and depression (last year in the 4th grade), to As and Bs at school, happy, not as irritating and is making friends. This is due to medication, a positive reinforcement behavior plan and accomodations at school (most of which are not used now that she is on meds). The only side effect we have seen is weight loss, which is no longer happening.

Who diagnosed your son??  Most psychiatrist will perscribe meds because that's what they do.  And if he definitely has add, they may help him but you won't know until you try. 

But you can also take him to a neuropsych who may discover something other than add that may mimic add and therefore there are other things than meds that may help him.

Hi Lizzie.....all I can say is hang in there and you will be fine. My son was diagnosed in 4th grade with ADHD and I was absolutely terrified to start him on any meds (I cried and cried and cried over it)  He has such an awesome sense of humor and he is so kind and caring but he was out of control. He couldn't sit in a chair without getting up, shaking his leg, flicking a pencil, making noises...etc.  I was afraid that if I started him on meds I would lose "my son."  I took the chance and we started him on Concerta 32mg and I'll tell you,  I not only DIDN'T lose my son but my son was much happier.  He COULD sit in a chair, he could focus in school, he could make and keep friends, he could be in the livingroom without jumping from chair to couch to chair AND his personality was still as wonderful as before.  It gave him confidence and made him feel so much better about himself academically.  It is now 3 years later, he is almost 5 inches taller and we've increased to 54 mg and he is still doing well.  Of course he has his moments BUT I can't imagine life without him taking his meds.  It has made a tremendous difference in how he lives, and how he feels about himself.  Educate yourself,  find a great support system (like the wonderful people on here) and do what's best for your son.  He needs HELP being able to listen to you, to not pick on his sister....he is unable to control that part of himself because of the chemicals that his brain does not make....that is where the meds help.  When you find the right med/meds for him,  you will see a difference,  I promise.  But moreso....your son will see and feel a difference that is positive.  Good luck to you.....

Robyn, Mom to Alex 13 ADHD Concerta 54mg daily

Hi! Thanks for replying. I booked an appointment with the doctor, I am pretty terrified for the outcome will be.

Are there any methods to help my son do things like listening, concentrate, and doing everyday things. I tried it with Chores Charts, Behaviour charts but it didn't last for long. Also I have another 2 kids, the middle one when I did the chart I done her one as well so she won't feel left out. But I was compensating them for doing good things with money which was becoming too expensive .

Lix

There are so many good ideas for behavior charts.  The point system where all things they love to do cost points and they earn points by doing the things they need to do.  You can use marbles, set up spreadsheets or whatever.  Unfortunately, these things rarely work long term.  And they can be complicated.  My 13 year old son even jokes when I try something new how it won't work for long. 

The other problem is the age.  It's much harder for the preteen teen age, than the little age because they fight you on everything.  They don't accept the fact that they don't have points for stuff.

So in the end, the best thing to do is really notice, reward, and praise your child for being good,whenever you catch them.  And when they don't listen, try to make consequences immediate and emotionless.  Use the word "choice" a lot.  Make they realize it's their choice to follow the rules or not.  But DON"t argue or get in a battle cause you'll never win.  and be as consistant as possible.

That's my advice

 

I think you should at least try meds to see if he improves.  If you find a med that works, all the other things you have been trying to teach him organization, etc. will be MUCH more effective.  Don't let other people scare you.  Educate yourself, read, read, read.  Read Barkley's "Taking Control of ADHD".  The more you know about ADHD, the more empowered you will be!  Good Luck!

check out kirk martin.

 

He has a website 

http://www.celebrate-ADHD.com   He's not a doctor but seems to get these kids more than any doctor I've dealt with.  and it's from his heart.  He does workshops and we drove 3 hours this summer to go to one.  He also does phone consults.  He's in DC.  Anyhow, he has a newsletter and a very practical approach to these kids, meds or not.   I found him so very helpful.  

fI feel once you begin treatin ght eadhd with the ocrrect medication for him, you will be able to offer chores for maybe an allowance or something. Right now, your son has no control over anything impulsive he says or does.

First lets treat his adhd!