I Finally Did It!!! | ADHD Information

Right.  Since she is obviously uninformed as to the meds, she probably thinks it is still in his system....go ahead and give it to him over the weekend for your sanity, then send him on Monday w/o.  Can you perhaps use a short acting one to give him once he gets home?  Just so you don't have to deal with him un medicated just because she is ignorant.  It probably will take more than one day to convince her....

I am so curious to see how this turns out!

 

 

Well we got his report card home today and it said to contact her if we had any questions.  Well for the most part his report card was good.  But he got an S- in the area of being courteous and considerate of others.  So I sent her an email asking her if this is just because he had a bad week because his meds need to be adjusted or if this has been the entire semester. (if it has been the entire semester I will be angry because this is the first we are hearing of it.... No mention at conferences,etc.)  I then politely added to the email that I had a telephone conversation with ds's psychiatrist and he thought we should do some additional tweaking to the meds, but that I wanted her opionion first of the day without meds.  So we will see what she comes back with and when.  She is not very good at responding to my questions.

My dh seems to think that after the day she had today she needed to go home and have a cocktail or two before discussing things with us.  He said that he thinks she will call Sunday night.

FYI We do have a fast acting short lasting ritalin that I gave him as soon as he got home for my sanity.  I am not going to punish myself because she thinks she's a doctor.  This is also the teacher that made him wet his pants a few weeks ago if you caught my post on that.  So in my mind paybacks are he__.

L'OL I am dying to know what happened today.  Give us details.  Take a pic of the harried teacher and post it for us!!! 

PS.  Love the ape analogy...that is how our daughter got this nickname "Monkeybutt"...she acts like a monkey too.

Maybe the teacher does not want to admit that she was wrong. What did you san say about the day?perhaps you can give her a few more days of no meds like your husband suggested.joemom39108.6712731481I'm with joemom.  Keep up the pressure until she screams! I agree. Maybe she wants to see how it goes for longer than one day since you are "following her advise." I love it!!! Maybe one day is all it will take. Perhaps she will listen to you in the future?

 

Well, I am truly disappointed    I sat by the phone all day and nothing... When I picked him up from school I thought the teacher would walk him out.. Still nothing.  When we got home I opened his back pack expecting a note... nothing.   I wanted a reaction from her.  I wanted her to say that maybe he truly does need the meds.  I don't need her to validate our choice to medicate ds.  I know that it was the best thing for our family, but I expected some response 

How disappointing...I finally work up the courage to give her what she truly deserves and now I don't even get the satisifaction of her saying it was a bad day.  Maybe she will call over the weekend

I wonder how long before the phone call???  Shall we start a pool?  How many hours before the teacher gives up and calls you?

Bravo, Cheesehead!!

 

 

My ds's teacher has been pushing my buttons all year long.  Her last comment that his meds are causing his behavior pushed me over the edge.  My dh wanted me to send him to school with no meds for a week (which I couldn't handle a week)

But it's Friday and I thought what the heck.  So I left the teacher a message that I am taking her advice and not giving him any meds today!  so she can get a baseline behavior as to with or without meds!!!

So all morning as my son is yelling, screaming, whistling running around like an ape.  I am just smilling knowing that the teacher is in for one h--- of a day

Let us know how it went!  What a hoot!
Always a good idea to discuss with the pdoc.  However, do you think that one day is really enough to make an assessment on?

 

Well I finally got a response.  I got an email and also a phone call saying that she wanted to talk about her feelings.  I got the phone call before the email so when I heard that she wanted to talk about her feelings I thought she was going to say bad things.  I was shocked by what her email said .. Now I am so torn about the meds.  Following are excerpts from her email.

 

I was glad that you sent him without meds on Friday.  It was good to see the difference in ds's behavior and personality.  First of all, I saw more smiles from ds than I have seen in a long time.  Of course, he had more energy and was more implusive, which is what I expected, but he was just more bubbly and happy.  He was also quite silly and not remorseful about things.  But, his tone of voice was better, not as rude.  Also, he was hungry and eager to eat at lunch time.  I've been asking him to show his lunch to the lunch lady before he goes outside, to make sure he is eating.  I talked to the lunch lady  and he hasn't been doing that.  So, I told him today that he needed to show her his lunch tray before going outside. or he would have to miss the last recess.  After he was done eating, I met him in the hall and he told me he ate all of his noodles and some corn and peas.  Then, I asked him if he showed the lunch lady and he said he did.  The lunch lady stopped by my room later and said that he didn't show her.  I talked to ds about it and he said that he didn't show her the tray.  We talked about he importance of telling the truth and trust and why he needed to show her his lunch.  I did have him stay in for recess.

So, in summary mixed reviews.  I think we're on the right track, but some tweaking needs to be done so that ds's personality is not lost with the meds and he can focus enough to learn.

 

Now I am so torn.. If she saw more smiles and more bubbly are meds the right thing?  She did say that he wasn't remorseful... so he most have done something to be remorseful about.  Also the not showing the lunch lady his tray I think is just a forgetful thing.  An and ADHD kid could forget his head if it wasn't attached.  So now I am torn do we stay off meds.....or do we go back on????

Chase forgets things all the time, good thing he doesn't get punished for it all the time!

What I think is that his meds need tweaking.  He still has many behaviors that the meds would help to control, but you need to find the dose that helps him while keeping the personality.  The appetite thing may never be perfect.  How many other kids have to show the lunch lady their tray after lunch?  Did you ask her to monitor his intake?  I mean all the stimulants take the appetitie at lunch for the most part....

Take a copy of the email to the psychiatrist and tell him your concerns.  Hopefully he can decide on the right course of action.

Bethann  it was punishment for not showing the lunch lady his tray before going out...I agree.  I think her feelings are valid, and she seems to really care.  But she is probably a bit over zealous and adds her two cents where they're not needed, or appreciated.  Definitely talk to your Pdoc about tweaking the medication so that you're both happy.  A happy teacher is not a bad thing in any aspect.  Even when you'd prefer to tear their heads off. :)

I think that this was a great experience for both you and the teacher. Her comments are valid and seem very caring. She really is paying attention to your son and his needs.

Your son is lucky to have a teacher who truly cares! But why did he have to stay in for recess - was it as a punishment for earlier behavior or to protect him? Just curious.

Regards,

Beth

I sent my dd to scholl wihout meds one day .

One of her teachers dismissed the fact she has ADHD - as she is good as gold.She will be as good as gold as she is on meds.Anyway the teacher called her " A manipulative little girl "etc , saying she is just playing you up.I was infuriated so i sent her to school with no meds.

When i picked her up from school the teacher was waithing for me and complained saying she did not know what was wrong with her , she was disruptive etc etc .I then had great pleasure in telling the teacher i didnt give her medication to her ! Well...... the look on the teachers face made my day !

Where it would have been satisfying if the teacher screamed and howled about how your ds acted without meds, I think the teacher's response is a good one (except the part about the lunch tray).  I'd sched an appt with the pdoc and tell her what the teacher told you.  If you haven't already, question the teacher about his concentration and how well he can focus.  Bring the personality issue up the the doc.  Maybe meds are the right choice, you just haven't found the right med yet.  My ds has had good luck with the patch and I recommend it to everyone.  You might also want to look at the alternatives board and try something from there.  You do have a good teacher there, it just took a while to find her. Wow...you have a caring teacher. I guess you could try and tweak the meds but keep in really close contact. Or you could try alternatives.

I kind of agree with you, the peeing in the pants thing would have turned me off as well.  And as far as the lunch tray, I am not sure what she wants....all of the meds will most likely take away his lunch time appetite...ritalin LA is what Chase is on and he is actually hungry for lunch now...but on the concerta, when I asked the teachers if he ate anything, they were all clueless, granted he was in 4th and 5th grade, but the teachers all commented on the fact that he was so skinny...they were not lunch police...kids are forgetful, especially ADHD kids!  I would tell her that you will worry about his eating/weight, if she will make sure the poor guy doesn't wet his pants at school again!

That being said, she is all you have to work with this year, so use the useful info to tweak his meds, and deal as best you can with the not so great teacher behavior.....

Good luck, and i hope you get his meds all figured out soon!

chasesmom7939112.3652893519

You know the only reason that I thought the teacher seemed like she cared was that she spent so much time paying attention to what your ds was doing. I totally skimmed the posts about the lunch tray incident so my first post "didn't get it", but I do agree the lunch tray and no recees was ridiculous, especially for adhd'ers who need to get up and move.

I guess I just wish my son had teachers that noticed him the way you son's teacher does, that is all.

And the peeing incident, that was wrong on her part also, but I have a feeling you and your son are going to "teach" the teacher this year.

And you know what, that's not such a bad thing, think what your doing for the next adhd boy this teacher will have and how your helping him!

I agree there are some quirks on her part, but she does seem to really care about your son. And she may be willing and open to learning from you both!

Just my opinion!

 

Is she checking on whether or not he's eating because you asked?  Cause I'd be furious if I found out that my child was being forced to eat at school (or punished if he didn't).  I have enough of a problem with the kids being told that they are to eat their foods in a certain order (sandwich 1st, then fruit, then treat).  And she was way out of line to punish him for being forgetful when she knew he hadn't had his meds.  I'd be on the phone to the principal demanding to know why my child was being discriminated against because of his medical condition- they wouldn't expect a child in a wheel chair to put things away on a high shelf without assistance, or a blind child to navigate crowded hallways without help, but they seem to expect a child with ADHD to remember on his own to show a tray to the lunch lady? 

Sorry if I've offended anybody with my rant- I'm a little pms-y today.  

I am kind of wondering the same thing...I have found that the more I harp on the eating issue, the less Chase eats...and I also think that if the parent hasn't asked her to keep tabs on the lunch tray, she (the teacher) should lay off, I mean I see that she may be concerned, but taking away a recess from an ADHD child is just about the worst thing you can do!  If they are so concerned, then have the lunch lady just toodle on over and check on the tray herself....or the teacher can...maybe they can remember to check it better than he can remember it!  These kids don't eat because the meds make them not feel hunger, and Chase even said that sometimes just the thought of food made him feel ill when he was on the concerta....

you know that really is unfair and invasive unless YOU the parent asked the school to keep an eye on him and eating lunch. I could NEVER get my school to do that, and I wouldn't want to. I also feel it is embarassing for your son!

My son never ate lunch until this year, fourth grade. I know he would HATE having to show his lunch tray to anyone over at his school. He would probably lie and say he did it also!

Speaking of being forced to eat lunch at school, I have an anecdote. DH, when he was in elementary, took his lunch to school one day that his grandma made for him. It happened to have big chunks of butter on it. Well, he couldn't stand the taste, so he didn't want to eat it, but his teacher forced him to eat it. He then threw up. He can no longer eat butter....it makes him nauseous to even think about it!

I am kinda shocked that so many of you say that she is a caring teacher.      I think she is an unorganized scatter brain mess.  Maybe my perspective is tainted.  This is the same teacher that made him pee his pants last week because of her classroom rules that she is unwilling to change.  This is the same teacher who tells me that he doesn't need a beahavior modification chart... This is the same teacher who promises to send home a daily note and then after a week of no note I end up calling her.  Maybe I see his teacher with blinders on.  I want a normal healthly child, but instead God decided that I could handle this.  We have tweaked the meds and it seems to be working for the time being.

Thank you all for you input as maybe I do have a teacher that truly cares and my perspective is just clouded because I want the very best for my ds.

Thanks again.  

 

As for the food issue.  During one of our phone calls I told her that he had lost a significant amount of weight and the dr rx'd a "hungry pill" I asked her how he had been eating at school. Mainly I was thinking about morning snack that she served and would easily be able to tell if he ate.  She said he has been turning down snack and that she would keep an eye on lunch.  When it was warmer she informed me that she could ds and another boy not eating any lunch so they could get to the playground first and get a truck for the sandbox (there aren't enough trucks for all the children that play in the sandbox) she then told them that they had to go back to the lunch room and eat.  When she said she would monitor his lunch I didn't think she meant show the lunch lady your tray.  Which I really wouldn't think would be a big deal because ds has a severe allergy to peanuts so he has a fanny pack with his epi-pen in it.  During lunch he gives it to the lunch lady.  When he is finished he is supposed to pick it up from the lunch lady and take it to the playground supervisor and hand it to her.  If he is getting the fanny pack from the lunch lady, why isn't he showing her his lunch?  Must just be the ADHD forgetfullness!

Yes lunch may have to be forfeited...when Chase was on Concerta, he didn't eat it either...but on the ritalin LA, he is so excited that he is hungry at lunch now! Apperantly it wears off at that time for a bit, then the next 'leg' of the med kicks in after lunch for the afternoon.  I think that I read that your son was switched to that med as well?

Hopefully with that and the "hungry pill"  (periactin?) he will be too hungry to hurry through lunch. 

Yes my ds's teacher made him have an accident and she sent home a note saying it was her fault.  Well duhhh, it was her fault.  My ds got up from nap time three times and asked to use the bathroom.  She told him three times that the rule is no one goes to the bathroom at nap time and to go lay down.  After the third time of asking he wet his pants while he was talking to her.  She sent home a note explaining that it was her fault.  I called her at home and questioned her and she said that it is her class and her rules that she wasn't going to change the rules.  No bathroom breaks or drinks from the bubbler during nap. End of story.  I told her that I instructed my ds to use the bathroom in the classroom even if  she says no in the future.  I tried to instill in him that he did the right thing by asking the adult and she was the one in the wrong here.Really!  What is she gonna do?  Forcibly restrain him?  Let her explain that disciplinary action to the higher ups...."Johnny asked to use the restroom, and when I told him no, he went in and used it anyway."  I dare someone to tell her that she cannot use the restroom at some point when she really has to go....

you know what would serve her right?  My son asked during nap time to go to the bathroom.  He never does so the teacher, who never allows it, let him.  He made into the bathroom but not to the toilet.  He had horrible diarrhea. When she called me, she told me it was even in his socks.  She had to clean him up before I got there.  She told me that she will ALWAYS let him go when he asks. 

That should happen to your sons teacher and she should have to clean it. That would teach her a lesson!!!!!

I happened to be in the lunch room one day, where all the kindergartners are required to show their tray to the supervisor.  The principle happened to be covering that day.  One kid's family was trying to keep him off of sweets, and the school apparently poo-pooed this idea.  So this kid goes up to the principle, shows him his tray with everything finished but his cookie (because they have to take everything given to them.)  The principle told him to go sit down and finish his cookie.  The poor kid tried to tell him that he wasn't supposed to eat sweets, but just got blown off.  It ticked me off.  I send my kids lunch to school, and stopped buying the school milk because they forced them to drink it all.  We had just switched to the hormone-free kind at home, and don't do 1% or 2% because of the oxidized cholesterol (that's the stuff the cholesterol studies are REALLY done on), so we only drink whole milk now.  We send her water, and she gets her milk in before and after school.  No fuss, no arguement.are you telling me that your child was forced to have an accident in his pants due to this teacher?  I would be OUTRAGED!!!!!  You need to go to her higher ups with that!!!!! As if these kids arent teased and picked on enough, that is EXACTLY the kind of thing that can cause them torment and mess with their self esteem.