Detention in Kindergarten!!!!!! | ADHD Information

[QUOTE=buggirl38]oh my this brings back such memories.  My son in his 2 years in Kindergarten was on time out during recess almost everyday.  they took all his recess away from him most of the time.  I told him that is the worse thing you can do to him.  He will not get any energy out as I drop him off at 6:30 am and he has to sit and behave from 6:30 am to 5:30 pm when I pick him up.  YIKES!  With an active child they need to run otherwise they will get worse.  Make him get up and clean boards or do something like clean up trash but do not take away his recess, IMO.  sorry had to comment as this happened more times than I care to admin! [/QUOTE]

My son was heading this way in first grade, we actually blamed the recess monitor who labeled him. It is horrible. I refused to put up with it, it actually brought me to tears

I was lucky that the school addressed this and it was EVENTUALLY worked out. But my son did spend many a recess in the office until he could go get his lunch. There were even times they forgot to tell him to get lunch It still breaks my heart writing this because even though we have gotten help with medicine and maturity, there are others going through this.

With ADHD becoming more recognized, diagnosed, and having the correct knowledge out there, you would think the schools would get on board as far as how to correctly help these little ones, even as far as the way they learn, too stretching their legs when necessary. Too many of them are so brilliant and would excell when taught using their learning style.

I don't think ODD is the issue.  This age is the age when most children "test the waters".  I really think you need to take a different approach to discipline with him.  Try the positive reinforcement.  It will work.  You might have to work at it to find the right angle, but it will work.  Read the first 2 or 3 pages then read the last 2 or 3 pages of the marble system.  Mold it to work for him.  Then you will see improvement in his behavior. 

 

Welcome to the board.  Keep posting.

oh my this brings back such memories.  My son in his 2 years in Kindergarten was on time out during recess almost everyday.  they took all his recess away from him most of the time.  I told him that is the worse thing you can do to him.  He will not get any energy out as I drop him off at 6:30 am and he has to sit and behave from 6:30 am to 5:30 pm when I pick him up.  YIKES!  With an active child they need to run otherwise they will get worse.  Make him get up and clean boards or do something like clean up trash but do not take away his recess, IMO.  sorry had to comment as this happened more times than I care to admin!

Hi Goinnutz,

I was wondering if you could possibly make your font size, one size bigger?  It might be my "newly turned" 40 year old eyes, but I am having a heck of a time reading that tiny print!  LOL

Thanks so much!

My son used to spend recess in the office for "stepping on the ice", such a crime. My husband and I went over and spoke with the principal. But what also helped was the medication stopping any impulsive behaviors.

School rules are school rules, however, my son was labeled severely at the time and while the entire class was on the ice, my son was the only one pulled into the office.

THe lunch tray thing is also a bit much to punish, but it's school and their rules.

My son was in 1st grade when this began by a lunch monitor who eventually was force to quit due to the petition by the children in the entire school. The lady found out about it and left in embarassment! Once his medication began leveling off, all impulsive behaviors stopped, and so didn't any trouble.

I will add, that before the lunch lady quit, she tried to go after him for something else, and was extremely wrong in doing so, and the principal had to move her for the second time off my son's class so she couldn't do anything to him any more. It took a year to convince the principal that she was targeting him. The monitor was a real nut case

Keep an eye out for any labelers targeting your children. Our children seem to be easy targets for them, unfortunately.

As mentioned above punishment does not work for ADHD kids. You need a reward program. Look at the Marble thread at the top of this post. Personally, I suspect that ongoing punishment fosters a comorbid ODD diagnosis in some children.

But I also think you need to change your perspective. It is not your son's job to fix his behavior; it is the responsibility of the adults to help him manage his behavior. These kids just don't get it. You don't "get through to him." I don't think that five year olds give up. You get a solid diagnosis from a professional, along with a treatment plan and recommendations for classroom management. Then you take that report to the school and request an educational evaluation, and an IEP (which is Special Education).

I would DOCUMENT everything that is happening. All school consequences, every minute spent not learning, and being punished instead. For example, send an email to the teacher asking for details of each occurence. Keep the emails.

As for others nosing in, play it down and don't provide the details. If they don't have and ADHD child, they cannot help you, but they can drain you while you waste your energy explaining it to them. Not to mention, confuse you.

Throwing ice cubes isnt that bad - what do the school expect?I would speak to the school and explain to them that the last thing a kid with ADHD needs is recess taken away. That makes no sense for a child who NEEDS to expend energy.

 

We don't have an offical dx of ODD  yet.  Our dr keeps telling us that ADHD usually doesn't travel alone and we already know that he has SPD, but he suspects ODD as well.  From what I gather there isn't a magic pill they can give ODD kids, but rather behavior modification. But we did find that once we got the right meds for the ADHD, the ODD behaviors dropped dramatically.  Not to say that we still don't show some ODD behaviors but the amount has dropped dramatically.

I'm not sure that school rules are school rules....some children are labeled or viewed differently... they come under a microscope and everything gets blown out of proportion.

 

We just got his report card on Friday - great except for his behavior. He was really upset so I thought maybe it would finally click to try to behave! He just got home and was all happy, said he had a good day. I asked - like I always do - if he got a time out and as if it was no big deal and he couldn't care less said he got DETENTION!!!!!! For throwing ice chunks outside during recess. Detention here means you have to sit in a classroom for X amount of minutes during recess. His first one. I just want to scream! It's like he's not trying anymore, like he's giving up. Like"what the heck, I'm always in trouble anyway". Now, I'm sure one of my friends - one of his friends parents - will call. I can hear it now "oh, I hear he got detention, what happened?" They don't know what's going on! I don't want to deal with it! What am I supposed to say? "He's the bad kid in class and yours isn;t so enjoy your easy parenting life while I struggle day to day, minute to minute with mine!"

How do I get thru to him! To make him want to behave and be the good kid instead of the bad one? And what sort of punishment do I give for this - no punishment I give for anything else matters!? He doesn't care! He has a Birthday party this weekend I could take away, but none of my friends will understand. And isn't his life hard enough, now I want to take away the normal joys of being a kid? Even tho it will probably end with him getting in trouble!

Help!!!!

Punishment rarely works with these kids...have you tried positive reinforcement?  Like if he gets no time outs, he gets a star for the day, after 3 stars in a row, he gets an inexpensive dollar store toy....then after he gets 3 in a row more easily, up it to 5 in a row...if you give a positive reinforcer for the desired behavior, sometimes that helps...

Throwing ice chunks is not good, but seems kind of normal for a 5 year old boy....not that he shouldn't have been disciplined. 

 

Cheesehead - Who can diagnose ODD?  It was about a year ago the first time I ever heard of that and it fits my son to a "T". My self diagnoses of him is ADHD w/ ODD. We'll see what the Dr. thinks. Hmmmm!

 

My ds is also in kindergarten and got his first detention on Friday.  He got his for not showing his lunch tray to the lunch lady and then lying and telling his teacher he did.  I don't think it was truly lying...my ds is extremely forgetful.  But it happened and I don't think he learned from it.

My ds is is immune to displine.  No matter what I do...take away toys, priviledges, etc. it doesn't get through to him.

Since meds, his discpline is hard, but it is starting to work.  I am finally getting through to him and maybe one day he'll earn his bedroom door back.

I got tired of the yelling stomping and door slamming that I finally just took the door away.  I was at my wits end and couldn't take it anymore!

I think it finally sunk in for me this summer when I took a parenting class at the local daycare that was taught by a pschyolgist.  When I spoke with her after class one night.  I told her that I tried taking away priviledges, etc. and nothing was working.  She then told me about oppositional defiance and said that we really should seek out an opinion from a pschystrit. 

Boy I am glad she led me down that path.  Life is such much different now that ds has been dx'd and we are on the right  path.