When did you know? | ADHD Information
Hi niktch,
My son entered a program called Early Intervention at the age of 2. They deal with children with all sorts of "things" going on. Unfortunately, it is over at the age of 3.
We then qualified for an integrated preschool, there services such as speech, ot, pt, etc. continue.
Your son sounds like at his age, he too would qulifity for an integrated preschool. I would call the special education department in your town at your public school, tell them you are calling for an evaluation for your 4 year old and believe he will qualify for services, as well as their integrated preschool.
Your son will attend the preschool at their public school, usually elementary, receiving any necessary services, like OT for sensory itegration, as well as any thing else, along with school with other 3 & 4 years old.
They CANNOT kick your son out due to any of his behaviors, they will work with him. This is a great introduction to public school. He will then attend kindergarten, etc. and may even have an IEP or 504 in place by then!
My son was diagnosed with ADHD before he turned 5, but we did NOT medicate until he was almost 7. Biggest regret of my life. He had a real tough time in school with kids and staff on the social side of things, that all could have been prevented if I had only started sooner and not been so selfish
He is 9 now and doing quite well!
Please feel free to ask any questions!
Call your local public schools special education department ASAP. And remember, your'll have some time to the other children and yourself while he is out having fun at school with other children his own age!
regards
My son is 3 and displays a range of behaviors. I am pregnant with myfourth child and find that all of my energy is consumed with my three
year old. I cry a lot. He just stopped peeing on the bathroom floor and
walls. He can't have a bath with anything in the bathroom. I have to
remove all the towels, rugs, toilet paper, and cups. If I don't I end up with
inches of water on the floor, or tp in the tub. He dumps out all the toys in
the playroom everyday. Not to play with them, just to run them over.
While I was typing this post, I got up twice because he threw a toy at his
big brother, and ran into his little brother with another toy. If I send him
to time out in his room he takes all the covers off his bed and his
brother's bed, and has started emptying all the drawers in the room onto
the floor. He stands up at dinner, and when he is done he pours his milk
on his plate or bowl. He doesn't respond to discipline of any kind. We
have tried spanking, which I hate and doesn't work. We have tried 1-2-3
magic, which only works if he is not totally revved up. He gets to the
point where he talks gibberish with his touge because he is so out of
control. He rarely sleeps through the night. He is the last child asleep and
the first one awake. I feel like I cry all the time. He just walked over and
hit the baby again for no reason. I need help, and I don't know where to
turn. I stay home with my boys after teaching for 4 years. You would
think I would know what is wrong, but I don't. Oh, he has sensory issues
too. He can't stand his shirt being wet, he hates the colored lights in
Target, and we can't take him to a grocery store without him freaking out
in some way.
Sorry this is so long. I just feel really lost and alone.
Welcome to this place where you will find help and support.
Do you have a child development center near you? These are usually associated with children's hospitals or universities. They would have a team of professionals that could start early evaluations. They also have all sorts of resources for families of special kids (parenting classes for difficult kids, access to other services).
Take care of yourself through this.
going to have the school psychologist call me this week. It's nice to know
I am not alone. It really feels isolating when you have a child like this. We
go to a co-op preschool right now, and he does really well there. Since
his birthday is in oct, he is in the 2's class. It is only once a week, and the
kids don't really play together yet. I'm there too which seems to help.
I will definately talk to the psychologist. My husband and I have already
dedcided that if something is found with him, we will homeschool and
receive services from the district.
Kewood- My son is exactly like that. It seems that he has so much going
on in his brain that he can't weed out what is good for him and what is
not. We can relate to the rock throwing too.
Thank you again. I'll be getting out my notebook as soon as he wakes
from his nap.
Hello and welcome!
I think we all know how it feels to get on the computer and google up "ADHD". It takes alot to get to that point, but to answer your question, it was around 3 that we began to think the "terrible 2's" turned into the "horrific 3's". Specifically, at my sons 3rd birthday party (and I have this on video!), while all the kids are sitting at the table eating cake, he casually leaned over the girl next to him and took her sippy cup and FLUNG it across the room, then went back to his cake. Everyone in the room kind of laughed and asked him why he did that "I don't know" -- this became the answer to many, many, many, many, many more inappropriate, impulsive situations we found ourselves in. He also became increasingly "silly" and dangerously carefree (throws rocks up in the air - over his head!) We brought him to a psychologist by the time his 4th birthday rolled around. He thought it was still too soon to diagnose ADHD, and suggested a very strict discipline strategy. Between 4-5 we noticed that he was really a great kid, but had absolutely no ability to control his impulses. Additionally, we noticed he had to interest in writiting, coloring or anything that took concentration. When Kindergarten came, he was in the principles office by the end of the first week. Teacher gave us the ususal -- no attention span, disruptive, doesn't follow directions, etc...We worked very hard with a reward/privalege technique that got very frustrating as he was never able to make it to the reward (trust me, we tried to make it super easy to win a privalege so he would know that good things happen when he makes good choices). By the middle of K, his self esteem was going down the toilet! By this time, we had gone back to the doctor and he diagnosed ADHD. Right away on medicine he was a changed child. I know what it is like to cry every day about this, so this was truly amazing. We have spent the last year almost getting to know him all over again -- and it is wonderful. This year in first grade -- A honor roll and Student of the Month -- truly, truly a great place to be.
Please consider talking to your doctor and get a good recommendation for help -- we are so glad we did, I really feel like we caught it JUST in time!!!
Niktch,
Hi and welcome. I am rather new to all this, too, but you will find lots of support here.
I completely agree with Bethann, the Early Intervention Program at your local school sounds like it would be the way to go. I would, until the eval, suggest keeping a little notebook with examples of areas in which you feel his behavior is inappropriate proportionately to his age. I found that, although they asked lots of questions at he eval, I wished I could have tapped into more of those "stories" like the ones you relayed in your post. But you know, in a situation like that, your memory just kind of shuts down and you go blank!
Good luck!
Oh my word. Thank you all so much. I have these same feelings andthoughts. I feel like a terrible mother because half of the day I am
counting down the minutes until nap, and the other half I am counting
the minutes until bedtime. It is so nice to hear such encouraging things.
After talking with the cooridnator at our preschool today, she brought up
sensory integration. I am going to bring this up when we meet with the
school psychologist. He called today, but we played phone tag. I can
relate to the defiance too. My father in law made comments last summer
about him not being normal, and I went off about him being a boy and
just busy. Although, I know in my heart, something is just not right.
Anyway, I feel like we are finally getting on the right track. Thanks for the
words of support. I really need them.
Looking back the first time a doctor told us that they noticed a problem was at 6 months My ds was seeing a gastrointestional specialist at the time for severe reflux. DH and I both agreed that she was nuts and didn't know what she was talking about. Now 5 1/2 years later we look back at the day she made those comments and wished we would have listened a little closer and followed up on researched some of her suggestions.
We broke down and took him to a psychologoist at 3 years old. That's when he explained sensory intergration disorder and told us to call the local school district to be tested. We did the next morning and got the ball rolling. He qualified for early intervention and OT. OT I will tell you has been the best thing for his sensory issues.
Now in Kindergarten we decided to take things a step further and introduce meds. What a difference. I can honestly say that I love my child and I love spending time with him. Now as for before meds and before OT. I cried... I cried alot and thought that I was a terrible mom for not wanting to spend time with my child. All I could think about was getting away from this terror that I couldn't control.
You have come to the right place for answers and support. Each child is different and what works for one family, might not work for the next. But you can rest assured that you are not alone in your struggles.
I find myself reading these posts with tears in my eyes. I remember the endless crying and wondering what I was doing that was sooo wrong that I had messed up my child somehow. I am glad you are looking at this early. I went to opposite. When my son was between 3-4 and in mothers day out two days a week it started out good year one but went to h---- in a handbasket year two.
I think a lot of my defiance came from the way Tyler's problems were presented to me. The "teacher" at this church basically told me in front of my child that he was horrible.
She also went on to say that he would never make it in kindergarten because he was a problem child
. Now I don't blame all my defiance on her because who wants to think that there is something wrong with their child. Kindergarten was a learning experience for us. We had a wonderful teacher who said basically he buzzed from the time he walked in until the time he left. He never had a week without bad tags. But SHE was awesome, she said she had seen the same behavior in a friends child and recommended seeing his pediatrician and a counselor. We did this, started meds and things got much better. It has been a real roller coaster ride of trying different meds, but now we don't just see the hyperactivity and bad behaviour we get to see the sweet heart, the generosity and his wonderful sense of humor. The ride was rough, but things do improve. I applaud you for recognizing and trying to get him help early.
You are in my thoughts! Good luck!!
have an older son, and he never did the things our Lucas does. However,
we have had a lot of change in our lives in the last two years too. We see
the school psych on Friday to talk. He won't be going to school anytime
soon, so I am in no hurry to diagnose him either. I am just needing help
coping since I am 8 months pregnant right now. Things may calm when
he turns 4 and our lives haven't changed in 6-8 months. One can hope,
but I am keeping my eyes and my options open. Reading so many of your
posts has been really helpful in this. I'm glad I found this if for no other
reason than to know I am not alone.
Goinnutz- I can't wait to join you with my own glass of wine and kleenex
for a Sat. night on the forum.
Hi there goinutz, my son was diagnosed right before he turned 5, but we did not medicate until he was 6, almost 7.
You mentioned in your post that he gets some timeouts, but is ok in school. My son was also in kindergarten, but it got worse as the year got on, and then in first grade it all blew up!
I truly wish I had medicated him earlier to save him the pain of being labeled, made fun of, etc. by the kids and staff.
If you feel in your gut that there is "something" going on, then go with your gut. It can't hurt to have an evaluation! Maybe he won't be diagnosed!
I would go and have it done and that way you will know one way or another. The worse is not knowing. You always have us here if you have any questions.
I think there is at least 1 person on these boards who has gone through what someone else comes in and posts.
im so glad there is help out there for parents struggling with their children from an early age. I knew my son was different from the age of 9 months but i got constantly fobbed off untill he was finally diagnosed at 6 years of age.
Hi, I dont know waht to say except that I am in the same boat as you. My new step daughter is 9 and cannot be left unattended for a moment. What is hard is that we cannot get a correct diagnosis, with the professionals ( counselors and psych) seem to think she is angelic and having sucha sweet face she couldnt possibly be as bad as we describe. Even though she has attacked other children with sharpened pencils and threatend to kill one. Her school guidence counselor praised her for admitting she had said that, gave her a reward even. We ahve been told she has post traumatic stress disorder and we shouldnt have to do homework or make her bed stuff like that. Are they nuts? She is flunking school, and thinks this is all a joke. I feel like a prisoner, we cant take her anywhere. She has been asked to leave the library and not to come back, for stealing and damaging books. Oh I am so sorry about this rant, I had meant to offer support and end up dumping on you.
Is it sad and pathetic that this is my idea of spending a Satuarday night with friends - sitting at my computer, on the ADHD message boards with a kleenex box and a glass of wine?! HA HA HA Come on, that's funny!
I'm O.K. with being a dork!
Anyway, reading all these posts was so hard for me. I am currently going thru the process of getting my 5 1/2 y.o. son diagnosed, so I'm very new to this. And reading all this made me realize that, as much as I keep trying to rationalize his behavior, it isn't "normal". Do you know what I mean? I would get so frusturated and start to blame myself - I'm too strict, that's why he's always in trouble or it's typical (insert age) behavior. Then we'd have a good week, we'd all be on our best behavior, trying so hard to be the "positive" mom, praising EVERYTHING (gosh is that annoying and very draining by the way. I'm a generally cheery, happy person, but geez......I was annoying myself!) anywho.......so everything would be good for a few days and I'd think "see, there's nothing wrong with him, you're just a bad parent! If you can just relax it's all good!" Then, even tho I'm doing it all "right" (and I use that term very loosely) it would all fall apart - all h--l would break loose! I mean literally over something as stupid as his elbow pad (he plays hockey) wasn't on right! And it will progress from bad to worse. It will get to the point where he is just arguing and fighting for the sake of it. Like he enjoys it. And reading all the stuff you guys wrote makes me want to say "HA, I was right self, it's not normal!" So, I have to stop second guessing myself - just because the world isn't telling me "he has ADHD, he's naughty blah blah blah" doesn't mean he doesn't have ADHD (and I suspect ODD) The stuff he has done and does is just like the sruff that you have all gone thru. The stuff I've said is not right. Some it is not exactly the same - he does get alot of time-outs at school, but is generally alright there. Does anyone get what I'm saying? I wish I had gotten my head out of the clouds earlier and gotten help. I've let it go on too long and it's now to the point where I'm pulling my hair out. I can't wait until his appointment on the 27th. But, I know that's just the begining of a long process! That's why I think that if you suspect there is something off don't wait, go talk to someone. It can't hurt - so I've learned! *sigh* This is going to be a long road, isn't it? Anyway, I'd say take him in. Get help. You're not alone.
Did I just sound like a public service anouncement? Hmmm.....
Anyway, good luck and hang in there. I know it can get ugly, but I figure if I can handle it (I'm not saying I'm handeling it gracefully) than anyone can!
Our son was diagnosed at three. I would say we knew something was different around 18 mos. We also have a strong family history of ADHD so we were not surprised at all to see it manifest itself in our son. Recognizing it early has been wonderful -- we don't medicate but use diet modifications and supplements w/ much success. More than that, though, I am able to help his pre-school and Sunday School teachers understand what is "normal" for him and we have decided to hold him back a year before going to Kindergarten to give him time to mature.
I hope you find the answers and support you need! Welcome to the board.