I have no problem with the hitting each other. Brothers should settle it amongst themselves. But I/we draw the line at kicking, biting and choking. My oldest has a history of losing control like this.
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I agree brother's should settle it amongst themselves if possible, but I think (JMO) it might be better to insist it be done w/o ANY violence. Once they start hitting each other, it keeps the adrenaline pumping, and it's going to be harder for them not to take it to the next (unacceptable) level. It's kind of like saying "OK, you can stab each other with knives, but not shoot each other with guns." Or, "You can drive drunk, but not high." KWIM?
I used to tell my DD if she felt herself getting mad and out of control, go to her room and beat the heck out of her pillow or punch her bed, but it wasn't OK to hit people....Well, the Psychologist we take her to told me that USE to be recommended, but isn't anymore, because of that adrenaline factor. If she beats up her pillow, that adrenaline is still going strong, so she isn't going to calm down. She's going to stay pumped up for quite awhile while she is pounding away. What we need to do is teach her ways to calm herself down when she starts getting out of control. I don't listen to or regard like the bible everything a Psychologist says, BUT, that one kind of made sense to me.
MamaBear39124.947349537I agree with Vickie and Mamabear. An explanation is in order as well as banning from basketball for a week, and the positive reinforcement works wonders. But I also have two boys and I don't let them hit each other. Who knows what can happen in the heat of the moment? They playfight and wrestle, in fun, and even then sometimes one can get over excited and try to hurt his brother. We don't condone violence in any way. In fact one thing I'm thinking through but am going to try on my kids is to ask them how they think Jesus (we're Christian but you could use any religion) would handle it. This I'm hoping will stimulate spiritual discussion, not be a direct attack on how THEY'RE handling it, and provide positive ways to handle things in the future. Also, when they do handle things well, don't forget to give positive encouragement.I need some advice. Here is the situation.
My two boys (10 & 7) were playing basketball in the backyard. The oldest kept asking the younger one something (who was replying but the oldest wasn't listening). The youngest replied "in a hateful tone" the older said and threw the basketball and hit the younger one, who threw the basketball back at his brother and hit him back. The older lost it, ran over to his little brother and bit him as hard as he could on the shoulder. He left teeth marks.