Need Anger MAnagement | ADHD Information
Oh Queensmom,
I had that exact morning today!! All was fine, then I just completely lost my temper (probably the worst yet). My best friend's advice was to get some support . . . and this website is wonderful! I just need to make time to visit it. I have a reward system in place and consequences also. I feel like I have lots of strategies that I use. . . but some days it is hard to keep your cool. Adults are not perfect either and that is o.k.!!! My prob is that I feel so worn down and burned out! My patience, which is usually fine, seems to be not enough even when it is a new day. This is all due to life now - stress from bad report card, frustrated that meds still aren't right after 6 months, husband working overtime, potential move in near future . . .
Thanks so much for listening. I don't prefer to be so negative and promise to share a positive story soon. 
Thank you all for your supportive responses. So, today was a wash for me as I went back to bed to sulk. OK-girls had a good school day in spite of moms outburst, tutor time went smoothly & hw got done yeah! (At Tutors of course). Easy nt. so I'm gonna go have that bed time chat with them re: how I could have handled my frustration better. And I think We'll give the marbles plan a try. Sounds positive.
I have 8 year old twins. One add, one not. Autumn is AD, slightly Impulsive, but Not Hyper. Dx about 1 yr ago. Fourth med. started in Oct., Methylin, works well for her, side effects minimal. Our biggest dilemma is hw! Got a tutor 2x /wk. but the other 3 nts, its me & her. And shes tired, and I'm busy, And sister gets ignored b/c I have to give A all my attention. Funny thing is in hindsight, she was the louder baby, too! Required more attention at birth, feedings, u name it! Hence, "The Queen", for queen of scream, was born. But, a sweeter, kinder child there never was. She has such a spirit, like a deep-hearted love for life, and the things she says sometimes are mind-blowing. Like she sees into your soul sometimes. (Thats why I am sometimes so hard on myself on those bad moments that I have!)
Well, tomorrow is a new day-thanks again and I'll be returning here often, I'm sure
Welcome the board! Mornings are frustrating not only working getting our children going but the worry "I have to go to work" rush.
Welcome to the board!! Been there, done that too!
Maybe instead of being sad about how the morning went, turn it into an opportunity for some communication with you and your daughter. Many times when my boys fight, I will sit them down and ask them if they think that they could have handled the situation better - how they could have used their words, calmed themselves down, etc.
Talk to your dd about how the morning went, and see if she can give you suggestions on how you could have handled it better - maybe by thinking of things for you, it will reinforce how she should behave if she gets angry.
Tomorrow is a new day! Definitely check out Ograms marble rewards system.
Been there, done that.
I had to learn not to let my daughter push my buttons and make me angry. I would tell her that everyone gets angry and that they need to learn to show that anger appropriately. I had to learn to be a better role model for this as well so that I could coach her on how to deal with her own anger.
When I was busy cooking, and the girls would fight or whatever they did to take my attention away from the meal, I would turn everything off in the kitchen and get them to stop. I would explain that I could not suppervise them and cook at the same time so they would have to choose which I did. I also taught them how to work on thier own solutions together. In the evenings when I get home from work, make dinner, we eat and then the kids may want to do something, I would explain that when they fought, I would get too stressed and tired to do what ever it was that they wanted to do. They started getting much better and if they have a bad time, I just have to give a little reminder to get them to find thier own solution.
This all went hand in hand with the marble system by ogram. After a while, it is easy to just remind them how many marbles they get for doing what they are supposed to do (get dressed on own, make own breakfast, feed animals etc) and how many marbles they lose for fighting or talking back.
I hope this helps.
We've all been there queensmom- I don't think there's a single parent on this board that hasn't had a morning like that. Mornings are notoriously bad for ADHD kids. Meds have not started working yet and stuff has to get done. Don't feel to bad for losing your temper- you did the right thing by apologizing and explaining your frustration. I think it's important for kids to know that adults can make mistakes and modeling the way to handle it when you do (apologizing, explaining and talking about it) will help her learn to do the same.
Oh, and welcome to the board!
Hi,
This is my first time posting. Just found this site after a really bad morning with my 8.5 yr old ADD daughter. Forgive me if I'm not savvy on chat room protocal. I'll do my best.
Is this where I put our history? Dont want to bore anyone. Morning started out pretty good actually. Didn't have to beg her to get out of bed. Probably cause its V day & she was excited to get up. Dressing went OK (for her). Got downstairs timely. Exchanged Valentines with kids and happy was all. Then.....
time for Autumn to Finish HW from last nt, while I get Pancakes started, and all Heck breaks loose. I lost it. Got really mad (REALLY MAD!) Slamming cabinet doors and cereal bowls. This is NOT my usual behavior, I just really couldnt stop my anger/frustration from showing. NYway, off to school they went, I tried to make up with her showing my love, apologizing for the anger, discussing my frustration, and now I'm feeling SSOOOO dam guilty I dont know what to do with myself. I just want to crawl back to bed and cry all day. Doing well with the latter, too.
Wondering if anyone else is in my boat 